Love is but a dream
Dreaming is my sanity
Until I wake up
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,786 Reviews
Hi Lele!
I quite liked the central idea behind this haiku. I'm very compelled by the idea of love only being a dream for the subject. This is something that I feel a lot of people can connect with, and is certainly something has been explored in other works about lost or unrequited love. Even though the subject knows her dream isn't real, she revels in it because the fictional world that she's created for herself is better than her reality. You see this in On My Own from Les Miserables, for example.
In spite of this, I found myself wanting more from the words that you used. Dream/Dreaming feels a little bit clunky, and "Until I wake up!" doesn't have that certain umph you want it to. Writing haikus is very difficult, but I wonder if there's another way you can phrase what it is you want to say. Your first line is great, though.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions!
Best,
Ellie
Hi it's Izzy!
I love that you compare love and a dream together, because love is really just a dream.
This was beautiful and peotic, and I love hiakus but I am super bad at reviewing them, so I am sowwy ):
Anywho, I like this, this is good, anddddd okay bye XD
Izzy
Legacy here for a review.
I love the concept of comparing love to a dream in such a short way. The last line is such a punch in the gut as well. I don't understand how dreaming can be sanity, but that might have just flown over my head. I would love to see some punctuation with such a short poem since it starts to run together a slight bit. This overall is so open ended since it is only 3 lines of content, but love is also open ended so it's okay.
I love this and keep writing.