You are an unbalanced scale
Forever weighing the odds
Of your successes
Your dreams
Your sense of self
You are a soul under constant construction
Renovating the walls of your mind
To make room for more ways to judge yourself
Not realizing
That all of your self reflections
Should be seen from the open end
Of an acute angle
You are more than your failures
You are greater than your mistakes
You are larger than your expectations
You are higher than your lows
You are beyond your worst fears
And you are above all that is done or said against you
You. Are. More.
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This was quite an empowering poem, especially for those who struggle with self-esteem. I love how 'You' is repeated throughout, laying a strong emphasis on the reader and how they're more - it's powerful and inspiring.
I think these are my favourite lines!
"That all of your self reflections
Should be seen from the open end
Of an acute angle"
I'm not sure I understood them right but I felt you meant to emphasise on how our own ideas of ourselves don't quite constitute the whole of our identity and we should realise that; as the open end of an acute angle is quite narrow as opposed to say, an obtuse angle.
I also enjoyed the lack of punctuation throughout, except in the last line. I don't do that often and it was interesting to see how it's absence didn't take away from the poem.
Thank you so much for sharing!
-D
This is a highly inspirational poem. It talks about a person filled with doubts, so unsure of his or herself, focusing only on the negative side. The poet is bringing the person into the realization that the person should channel all the ' self reflection' to the positive side.
I love the effect you created here using parallelism:
' ... You are more than your failures
You are greater than your mistakes
You are larger than your expectations
You are higher than your lows
You are beyond your worst fears...'
Well done. Keep up the good work.
Very inspiring poem what this poem talks about is something I really struggle with, a feeling of loss and a chaotic or sad self image, the "sense of self". The beginning really felt like it was speaking directly to me like someone just opened my mind and knew everything about me. This feeling makes it more inspiring at the end because it feels personal like someone who despite knowing all your failures and quirks sternly believe you are more,
"You are more than your failures
You are greater than your mistakes
You are larger than your expectations
You are higher than your lows
You are beyond your worst fears
And you are above all that is done or said against you
You. Are. More."
This is a nice poem that will stick to some people, especially the last part. People who've never been told they are more than what they see themselves will be moved by this.
Hey there! Plume here, with a review!
This was a really lovely poem! The message was really great, and that last line was especially stark, given how punctuated it was. I think it was very reassuring, and you did a really nice job of it!!
I loved the repetition in it, especially of "you" at the beginning of a lot of sequential phrases. I thought your choice of subject was interesting too; it was unclear whether you were addressing someone you knew or you were just opening it to the reader/people in general, but I think that worked really well. It was great to have that interpretation open. I also adored your first line and the part about construction too; I think they were both beautiful images to convey your meaning. Really great work!!
One thing I did wonder is if it would benefit from stanzas. Right now, it reads like one long thought. I think that can have its benefits and disadvantages, but I think this poem does divide itself somewhat into clearer-cut ideas within it. It would be interesting to play around with spacing just to see what you come up with!!
Specifics
This was the one part I was a little unclear on; I feel like the "open end" of an acute angle could be interpreted in many ways. I wasn't sure if you meant the part that isn't the angle (i. e. if an angle is 15 degrees, the so-called "open end" would be 165) or if you meant the end of an angle, which, if it's acute, would be pretty narrow. I think it could benefit from another analogy or some other clarification.
Overall: great job! I loved those images you incorporated throughout along with your repetition, and the message was really powerful. Once again, nice work, and I hope to read more of your work on here soon! Until next time!!
Thank you so much for the review. I appreciate your words.
For the acute angle, I was hoping to describe the %u201Cgreater than%u201D sign %u201C<%u201C or %u201C>%u201D
I wasn't sure how to word it or introduce that bridge to the second part without losing flow. Do you have any suggestions?
I like this poem.It lets you know that you are more in life and that you deserve the world.Sometimes we forget that we are more in life and we need to be recognized as humans.We all need this in life,it’s a friendly reminder that we are human.It’s a great poem.I hope you have a lovely day/night.