“I’m not scared”
I tell myself this all the time.
I’m not scared of anything.
I say it loud and enough times that even I believe it.
Who cares what others say?
Who cares if I make mistakes?
Who cares if I die today?
I dont need anyone's approval anyway.
If they love me, I love me. If they don’t, I still love me
If they leave, I’ll let them be, cause I’m not scared of a damn thing
What is time to a fire spark? As long as it burned at all, it’ll leave something to remember
Even if I burn every log used to bridge myself to everyone in this forest of life, I’ll be fine
Cause I’m not worried at all.
“I’m scared”
I tell myself this all the time.
I’m scared of everything.
I say it loud and enough times in my head that I believe it.
I care what other people think. Others opinions speak for me before I can.
I hope they didn’t notice my mistakes. The domino effect of my actions roll around in my mind.
The possibilities of made up scenarios in my head hurt me more than anything else.
What if I died today? Who would be there? And how long would they stay if anyone showed up?
I don’t know from right and wrong anymore. I wish someone would tell me.
If only I’d let them.
If they love me, I love me. If they don’t, I hate me.
If they leave, I let them be and hate myself a little less cause who wants someone as scared as me around anyway?
What’s a fire spark to time if there’s no one left in the forest to share it with?
Time is a mystery to me. I have too much of it or not enough to leave my hand print on this worlds canvas worthy enough to remember.
I’m scared of every damn thing.
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I really like this! When you talk about the spark, I liked how you contrasted the importance of time to the spark versus the importance of the spark to time.
I also thought it was interesting how, under further review, the first almost seems like you're trying to convince yourself.
-ie: "I tell myself this all the time." or "I say it loud and enough times that even I believe it."
I did, however, think that the passage about time (at the end) was a bit abruptly introduced. It doesn't really fit in with the rest of the idea.
Overall, however, I really enjoyed this!
Hey there, I'm Charles and I'm here to review your poem.
First off, I loved the structure of the poem. I thought it was really creative to put such contrasting thoughts next to each other. I loved how it was easy to relate to both sides-- the reader doesn't take one side or the other, they are just left conflicted (in a good way) because both are so relatable.
My first issue was that I thought the fire spark was a little unclear. I think I know what you're trying to say/point out, but I didn't really understand how it related to being scared. I think I get it, but I would have liked a little more. I think if you are going to use the word "time" you need to make it clear in the earlier section that time is relevant to this poem. It sort of comes out of nowhere.
The same goes for the second stanza. The fire spark seems to be thrown in there.
I think that the second half does a better job of the first in explaining. You mentioned a few other thoughts rather than just the "what others think of me". The first stanza seems to be just a collection of thoughts, but the second one really brings it home because of how everything connects. You seemed to give more attention to "I'm scared" than "I'm not scared," and I wanted to hear both sides equally. Keep the attitude and opinion in the first stanza, but give it more depth like the second has.
Hope you could benefit from my thoughts, let me know if you are confused on anything I said.