Young Writers Society

Hey there I just wanted to leave a review you did an amazing job.

"I love someone who forgot how to love

From hurt and tribulations, they've guarded their heart with barbed wire

Lowered the volume of their emotions to mute. " I can relate to this so deeply it's

almost painfully.


"Living in fear

Of how high a probability their pain will return

Worse than before

Living in fear of the odds

That have never been in their favor." I completely love the way the words go

together here . I also relate to this. I think things are always going to fail and

I'll be hurt in the end.


"Shadowed by sleepless nights

Tired eyes and throbbing headaches

Solitude is their false sense of safety" this is my default setting. You nailed it

perfectly.

"And now we are all facing the after math of our selves

Refusing to live in a world of mirrors.

We reject ourselves

Unable to face anyone

Who portrays the same failure

We guilt over ourselves

Feeling trapped in our own living hell " Very powerful VERY moving.


" It is hard to live

When everyone is living

As if they are already dead" Everyone is so materialistic looking at their phones

and social media seeing how we're supposed to live that we're basically living like

we're dead. Perfect telling of that.


"To endure nothingness is one thing

It becomes a habit

A bland, black and white routine

A flat, matte surface of composure and unoriginality

But to endure nothingness

Together " Working, sleeping, working and sleeping no relationships just people

living bane existences together but not together. Well worded here as well.


Overall amazing first work can't wait to see more of your work GREAT JOB!

Hi, tropical mango here for a quick review.
This is an interesting poem that delves into the intricacies of love, specifically about those who dish out copious amounts of love but are unable to receive it in return.
A lot of pain and sadness is reflected in this poem, which is further highlighted by the language use, and i think the conveying of those emotions across was really well done.
I loved vibe and linguistics, however, I felt that the logical flow as well as scope of the poem could have been better, cuz to me it feels like an emo rant about this topic not going into any direction but just as a form of pure cartharsis which may not make much sense to the readers.
Hope to see more of your writing!!!

Good morning/afternoon/evening! Here to leave a quick review

Mini Review:
I like how you talked about another hidden aspect of love. A person who has shut themselves from the idea of love has now developed feelings for one who shares the same sentiments. It's an intricate and complex topic, but you have written it beautifully.

There's just one thing I want to talk about.

Perhaps we all are ponds

Trying to navigate conversations

Falling victim to people pleasing tendencies

Or cynical isolation

And now we are all facing the after math of our selves

Refusing to live in a world of mirrors.

We reject ourselves

Unable to face anyone

Who portrays the same failure

We guilt over ourselves

Feeling trapped in our own living hell

Through different mobile vessels

We lose touch of how to connect

Become numb to existence, more self aware of ourselves

Questioning why we are here

Forced to relearn how to live.

Hey there! This is Ina aka loveissourgrapes who is participating in the Tortoise Review Race and I am here to review/comment on your poem.

I thought it would be a romantic poem with its title but when I read it, it felt very sad. Should or how should you love someone who does not know how, or even yourself? It also gives off strange nostalgic vibes to it and feels like an old poem written in brown crumpled paper in an old-English font.

Overall, it is nice. It's just that it seems confusing because the stanzas are not separated. Can you fix that? Anyways, have a wonderful day/night, wherever you are.