I love someone who forgot how to love
From hurt and tribulations, they've guarded their heart with barbed wire
Lowered the volume of their emotions to mute.
All they feel is transactional affection.
The type of affection they can give out
But refuse to take in return
They expect the hurt and pain
Like they would a weekly television program
Only, it's every day.
Every minute.
Every second.
Living in fear
Of how high a probability their pain will return
Worse than before
Living in fear of the odds
That have never been in their favor.
Or small victories
Shadowed by sleepless nights
Tired eyes and throbbing headaches
Solitude is their false sense of safety
Togetherness
Is now a dreadful sequence of events
Anticipating anxiety.
Quiet tip toe maneuvering
Constant games of chess and mental gymnastics
Stretching so far and long, it draws close to the line of insanity
I can not love them
For I am the same.
Perhaps we all are ponds
Trying to navigate conversations
Falling victim to people pleasing tendencies
Or cynical isolation
And now we are all facing the after math of our selves
Refusing to live in a world of mirrors.
We reject ourselves
Unable to face anyone
Who portrays the same failure
We guilt over ourselves
Feeling trapped in our own living hell
Through different mobile vessels
We lose touch of how to connect
Become numb to existence, more self aware of ourselves
Questioning why we are here
Forced to relearn how to live.
It is hard to live
When everyone is living
As if they are already dead
Yet for some reason..
I want to love someone
Who doesn't love.
Could it be
A mini glimmer of hope
I've created out of comfort to cope with my own sorrows?
Or could it be
By feeling nothing together,
we could be less lonely?
To endure nothingness is one thing
It becomes a habit
A bland, black and white routine
A flat, matte surface of composure and unoriginality
But to endure nothingness
Together
Creates shades of greys in between
More possibilities I could ever expect for myself
And grey is much prettier than darkness
For it requires some kind of light.
And maybe.
Just maybe..
That light will shine
Reflect off of something beautiful
And I will be able
To recognize myself
Again.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hey there I just wanted to leave a review
you did an amazing job.
. I also relate to this. I think things are always going to fail and
GREAT JOB!
"I love someone who forgot how to love
From hurt and tribulations, they've guarded their heart with barbed wire
Lowered the volume of their emotions to mute. " I can relate to this so deeply it's
almost painfully.
"Living in fear
Of how high a probability their pain will return
Worse than before
Living in fear of the odds
That have never been in their favor." I completely love the way the words go
together here
I'll be hurt in the end.
"Shadowed by sleepless nights
Tired eyes and throbbing headaches
Solitude is their false sense of safety" this is my default setting. You nailed it
perfectly.
"And now we are all facing the after math of our selves
Refusing to live in a world of mirrors.
We reject ourselves
Unable to face anyone
Who portrays the same failure
We guilt over ourselves
Feeling trapped in our own living hell " Very powerful VERY moving.
" It is hard to live
When everyone is living
As if they are already dead" Everyone is so materialistic looking at their phones
and social media seeing how we're supposed to live that we're basically living like
we're dead. Perfect telling of that.
"To endure nothingness is one thing
It becomes a habit
A bland, black and white routine
A flat, matte surface of composure and unoriginality
But to endure nothingness
Together " Working, sleeping, working and sleeping no relationships just people
living bane existences together but not together. Well worded here as well.
Overall amazing first work can't wait to see more of your work
Hi, tropical mango here for a quick review.
This is an interesting poem that delves into the intricacies of love, specifically about those who dish out copious amounts of love but are unable to receive it in return.
A lot of pain and sadness is reflected in this poem, which is further highlighted by the language use, and i think the conveying of those emotions across was really well done.
I loved vibe and linguistics, however, I felt that the logical flow as well as scope of the poem could have been better, cuz to me it feels like an emo rant about this topic not going into any direction but just as a form of pure cartharsis which may not make much sense to the readers.
Hope to see more of your writing!!!
Good morning/afternoon/evening! Here to leave a quick review
Mini Review:
I like how you talked about another hidden aspect of love. A person who has shut themselves from the idea of love has now developed feelings for one who shares the same sentiments. It's an intricate and complex topic, but you have written it beautifully.
There's just one thing I want to talk about.
Personally, I think those two words "we all" is a bold generalization. Other more fortunate people may have not undergone the same process. Others may have only gotten to half the process you described above. It would be better to call them "most of us" or simply "many". This is a small observation on my part.
It will also be ideal to add more punctuation so the readers won't be too confused. And spacers can help make the reading experience easier.
Summarizing Comments:
Overall, this is a great emotional rollercoaster. As someone who loves to give out compliments and love and care to other people but struggles to receive them, this poem is quite relatable to me. It's learning process for many of us who don't see ourselves as we worth and I think the hopeful ending of our poem resounds what many of us want to say. Maybe, the light will one day shine. Someday, we will finally recognize ourselves as who we were, are, and can be.
This is alpacaboss, signing off.
Hey there! This is Ina aka loveissourgrapes who is participating in the Tortoise Review Race and I am here to review/comment on your poem.
I thought it would be a romantic poem with its title but when I read it, it felt very sad. Should or how should you love someone who does not know how, or even yourself? It also gives off strange nostalgic vibes to it and feels like an old poem written in brown crumpled paper in an old-English font.
Overall, it is nice. It's just that it seems confusing because the stanzas are not separated. Can you fix that? Anyways, have a wonderful day/night, wherever you are.