Hey leleparadise,
Shady here with a review for you! First of all, I wanted to mention that the title of this poem is what drew me to it. I don't typically think of math as being particularly related to poetry, so it's interesting to me that you combined the two.
Like garbage bags, my mind is trashed
This is interesting imagery. I like it!
This life's a scam, I'm cooked like spam
Okay, so I admit I'm not particularly fantastic at poetry. So if anyone else reviews this and disagrees with me, feel free to disregard this comment. But personally, I feel like your rhymes are too forced. Scam, spam, ehhh. It doesn't feel natural. It feels like you were grappling to find something rhyming. Not loving it.
My pain is the denominator
Time is over it, cause it savors
For every fraction of my infractions
To all the people that I've subtracted
I really liked this stanza! The first few stanzas left me wondering what this poem had to do with math. This is the one that really tied the math theme into your poem, and I think it is very beautiful. This one feels natural and flows nicely, and I like the way you used math terminology in another context... "To all the people I've subtracted" was my favorite.
Overall, this was a good poem. I enjoyed it. I just suggest you find a way to soften the rhymes a bit. I feel like the rhyming is supposed to make the poem flow nicely, not draw attention to itself -- and right now, it is most definitely drawing attention to itself. Otherwise, great job!
Keep writing!
~Shady
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