The book is waiting for the reader
who will come quietly,
reluctant to begin,
preparing to plod on past each word,
letters crowding together
like endless rows of corn.
She will pause, sighing,
her fingers stoking the paper,
finally realizing she is exhausted,
unaware that she is propping up her heart
with stiff, unfeeling endurance.
As she forces herself to begin,
the words will whisper and laugh,
washing away her inner hardness,
awakening a tingling pleasure.
She will hold the book reverently,
as if the pages might catch on fire.
Each line will linger in her mind
as she savors the sound of the language.
Then, suddenly, she will remember the time,
slowly shut the cover, and go out again,
seeing with quiet, bright eyes,
hearing the billions of feet
hitting the ground all around the world
like the thundering of tympani,
glimpsing stories everywhere,
her heart pulsing and vulnerable
in the awareness of so many lives.
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
I dislike this in a way that makes me like it.
^that is a compliment^
It really describes the feeling of reading a good book. I do have to agree that I don't quite understand what made this girl suddenly interested. Was there a certain shine about the book? Did she just randomly have the urge to give it a chance? Either way, I need to know...
"Then, suddenly, she will remember the time,
slowly shut the cover, and go out again,
seeing with quiet, bright eyes,
hearing the billions of feet
hitting the ground all around the world
like the thundering of tympani,
glimpsing stories everywhere,
her heart pulsing and vulnerable
in the awareness of so many lives"
While that is indeed my favorite part... It should be more than one sentence. I'm also one to defy grammar, but it almost feels as if you took it too far. Especially for a poem about reading. XD
Other than the endless sentence, I LOVE IT. Great job!!!'
Good Luck To You!
Thanks for the review!
Beautiful, it was like cradling yourself beneath a cloak of basic reality. I love how in the beginning you transitioned from this somewhat brooding girl; who seems uninterested to read, and suddenly changed to an upbeat ride, line after line. Once she turned the pages you can just feel her emotions fluctuate, it was exhilarating honestly. Over exaggeration? Maybe, but that's what writing is supposed to make the reader feel, and you nailed it. I love your diction, and your imagery is amazing, it's like watching a movie; no better, it's like being the character. The only problem I see Is, why did the girl read, what made this book so attracting, or was she forced by a teacher, that's the only mind-boggling thing, but none that... amazing job it was extremely intriguing to read. A burst of flavor!
Thank your for reviewing. I'll see what I can do about showing why she read it.
No problem C:
I loved the comparison between words and rows of corn (from the middle east of the USA), it speaks so personally to me! XD
Alright, I will admit that the main reason I read this was because I wanted to see if you could effectively capture the actions and mood of someone who is resilient to reading a book. Now that I've read it, I think that you did a pretty good job. You displayed the doldrum atmosphere that normally goes on, the cautious movement to opening the cover, and nicely transitioned into the sparking of interest.
The vocabulary is also very nice, you added some colored language in it which made it much more mature in the eyes of the reader.
Now, nitpicks and advice;
1. I feel like you left out a major part of the story; the reason she decided to read this specific book. Anyone can read any book, but what about this book drew this girl to read it? Was it the cover? The name? The suggestion of a friend?
Without that information, it just sounds like she was given some book by someone and told "read this." which, as we all know, doesn't make us too willing to read.
2. Something about the last two lines of the last stanza bugs me. I don't know, but just the way it's worded just took me out of the flow and the emotion. That is a big problem. As a writer, it is your job to fully enclose the reader in a world or thought that is flowing and understandable. If you even have as much as two lines that are a bit weird, it'll throw off a reader completely, and it'll affect their entire experience.
Thinking, I came up with a replacement;
"her mind pulsing and alive
as narratives of heart travel on by."
This ending wraps up the story in a cleaner, more developed way. Instead of it being her heart, it's her mind, which ties in to her now sparked imagination and curiosity in the people around her. "Narratives of heart" is a prettier way of saying "life stories", so that also keeps to the original idea for the ending.
Other than that, I didn't see anything that was bad
Good job!
~Maddie
Thank you so much for reviewing!