I find rest
in stillness, in simplicity,
in plain-speaking
and directness of thought.
Free from the
clutter of clashing competing
thoughts emotions ideas
whirling, wailing through my head like
the scream of a bomb shell before it hits.
Sometimes it is a relief
to recede into austerity.
To leave behind the stress,
the striving. To remember
what I know to be true
and be at peace.
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139,785 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
I like it! Particularly because I agree with the subject of the poem: I too prefer straightforwardness over complication and "beating around the bush".
So, it's a good poem. Please work on punctuating the lines properly. Otherwise, you're set!
The last lines are amazing: "To remember what I know to be true, and to be at peace. ". Thumbs up.
Mysticalxx
For a poem that was free-written during a "lull" in English class, this is extremely cohesive. The sparse style of the poem works very well with your theme of simplicity.
Although simple, you do not neglect to employ some interesting poetic devices. The alliteration of "whirling" and "wailing," continued to carry the idea of ambiguity, but also disrupted the simplicity enough to lead into the simile of the bomb.
I think the brevity of the piece works in your favor as well for the same reason your simple style does. It contributes to the overarching idea of directness.
Good job, Jessie.
Thank you
So, I was just browsing around the site and the title of your poem caught my eye... And I'm glad it did!
I really enjoyed reading this! It was really thoughtful!
Nice job. Cx
- AustereMelodies
Thank you
Hi, Jessie!
First of all, well done! Though your poem is short, it is still very powerful. I definitely understand thoroughly the point you are trying to make.
You chose your words very well. I especially like the comparison to "the scream of a bomb shell before it hits." You use powerful imagery to get your point across.
The only specific thing that I would change is the line "to recede into austerity, simplicity." I would take out "simplicity" and simply say "austerity" because it is unnecessary and seems repetitive. I think it is enough to say the title of the poem once.
Overall, your poem felt very refreshing. In today's world of complications, it is important to remember the value of peace and simplicity. I enjoyed it immensely--keep up the good work!
-Lydia
Thank you
No problem!
That was awesome
Thank you
This is really good, jessie.
I like the way it flows and the wording you used. You said this was a quick one? Wow.
Anyway, no spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors. I wouldn't be surprised if this gets featured.
Nice job on this poem! Keep writing awesome work!
~Swiftfur.
Thank you