The dark leaves
under a somber oak tree.
I pick up a leaf and
say to myself, Today
I am turning over a new leaf,
and I laugh at myself.
The dark leaves
this morning
as the sunlight flings gold
across the grey-blue mountains,
generous and joyful.
I wave the oak leaf like a flag,
and laugh because I’m alive
and I feel like laughing.
I let go, see
the leaf fall and come to rest
among the dark leaves.
God will take care of everything.
The dark leaves my heart.
Because God is with me,
I am laughing.
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Hiya jessethought! ... I literally did the same thing as Celtic. Aahhh! Sorry. xD
Anyway I would just like to say how much I enjoyed this poem of yours -- specifically the ending! I sort of liked how the first two lines were a little somber (for lack of a better word, I know you literally used that exact word x'D), and then you slowly worked up to a more joyful tone. It was resolved really well at the end, too: I really felt like the narrator was content, as though they had learned something by the ressolution. It felt like a little story, in so few lines!
The four lines of that last stanza did a perfect job of bringing everything around full circle, and brought everything to a perfect end!
I only have one nitpick, and it's more a personal opinion than anything. In the last three lines of the first stanza, "myself" was repeated twice in really close succession and it felt a little redundant, but it still works well, to be honest. I see why you did it!
Otherwise... I see nothing wrong! This was really refreshing! I can't wait to read more of your work!
- AustereMelodies
Hiya jessethought!
To begin I would just like to say how much I enjoyed this poem of yours -- specifically the ending! I sort of liked how the first two lines were a little somber (for lack of a better word, I know you literally used that exact word x'D), and then you slowly worked up to a more joyful tone. It was resolved really well at the end, too: I really felt like the narrator was content, as though they had learned something by the ressolution. It felt like a little story, in so few lines!
The last four lines of that last stanza did a perfect job of bringing everything around full circle, and brought everything to a perfect end!
I only have one nitpick, and it's more a personal opinion than anything. In the last three lines of the first stanza, "myself" was repeated twice in really close succession and it felt a little redundant, but it still works well, to be honest. I see why you did it!
Otherwise... I see nothing wrong! This was really refreshing! I can't wait to read more of your work!
- AustereMelodies
Thank you
I forgot to put my last thing as a review *facepalm* Sorry.
Now I am trying to make things light also lol.
Hey there! CelticThunder1438 here for a review! a.k.a. Selina
First of I would just like to say....I have never really written much poetry, but the last year I find myself writing more and more of it.
I know exactly what you mean when you said "I have been writing some depressing poems so I decided to switch it up a bit" because when I first start writing a poem, its usually cause one line came to me. Then I start writing and soon when I look back I see that it turned out to be all of the emotions I was feeling all in a couple paragraphs hehe
Most of my poems turn out depressing also....but it is an accident. Poetry kinda senses your emotions and then your head thinks up words to make it make sense.
"The dark leaves
under a somber oak tree.
I pick up a leaf and
say to myself, Today
I am turning over a new leaf,
and I laugh at myself"
I absolutely loved this paragraph it started everything out really good and then you kept the poem flowing after that. *thumbs up*
I LOVED THIS POEM!! Keep up the good work I look forward to seeing more of your work!
!CelticThunder1438!
Thank you
Hey there! CelticThunder1438 here for a review! a.k.a. Selina
Now I am trying to make things light also lol.
First of I would just like to say....I have never really written much poetry, but the last year I find myself writing more and more of it.
I know exactly what you mean when you said "I have been writing some depressing poems so I decided to switch it up a bit" because when I first start writing a poem, its usually cause one line came to me. Then I start writing and soon when I look back I see that it turned out to be all of the emotions I was feeling all in a couple paragraphs hehe
Most of my poems turn out depressing also....but it is an accident. Poetry kinda senses your emotions and then your head thinks up words to make it make sense.
"The dark leaves
under a somber oak tree.
I pick up a leaf and
say to myself, Today
I am turning over a new leaf,
and I laugh at myself"
I absolutely loved this paragraph it started everything out really good and then you kept the poem flowing after that. *thumbs up*
I LOVED THIS POEM!! Keep up the good work I look forward to seeing more of your work!
!CelticThunder1438!