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Reflect me 2

by demoncat


 Warning this story mentions suicide and some other things that may trigger. Like Gore and alcohol. Also this is part two! Please read part one before reading this. The next part will be out soon.

DearDiary,

          I am determined to drive this evil girl out of our house. She is ruining any chance I have with tyson. That's his name I heard her say it. In fact she is showering as I write this. I hate how my mirror fogs up when the shower is on. And it only does that when she's in here. Susan always seems to take hot showers, but tyson always takes cold showers. He doesn't like it when the mirror fogs up because he likes to look at himself. You know to brush his teeth and shave. He's so considerate but she is an absolute monster!!! Oh and they recently got a cat. That's new. It's really cute and it can see me! I guess it's a cat thing? They named him shadow. Wait is she singing in the shower? I can barely hear myself think with her shrill voice echoing in the mirror. Why is she always here? It's like she's moved in or... Something.... Oh. I think I'll go to the living room mirror and get a book to read from the reflection of the shelf.

Dear diary,

           It seems that a freind of Tyson is moving in with him. He isn't really my type though. His muscles aren't as defined as tyson. And he looks so angry all the time like a serial killer or something. He has dark circles under his eyes. Blue eyes. Where do I remember that from? 

Oh yes It was from when I was alive! I better write that down before I forget.

"Timothy come back!" My voice is tired an hoarse from all the yelling. And my makeup that always has to be perfect is now streaming down my face. My eyes burn with tears and mascara. Then I see Timothy laying with his knee up on a bench. His own face streaked with tears that have since dried. The bench is under a tree. Our tree. He carved our names into it long ago. He was trying to be cool like my past boyfriends. They all carved our names into the same tree. And as I was about to tell him that liked him because he was different a police officer stopped him and scolded him. U remember he started bawling with terror. Me and the officer ended up having to treat him to icecream. I brushed off the memory and rushed up to Timothy. "I'm so sorry. I was stupid. The whole thing was stupid. I don't know what I was thinking rusty is definitely not the guy for me. I wanna be with you." Timothy shakes his head and sits up. "No. May that's enough." He takes my hand in his and rubs my ring finger with his thumb. "I was the stupid one. I shouldn't have believed you could change. I heard the rumors. And I even suspected myself." He pauses. Then let's go of my hand and stands. "You can keep the ring. And the sketchbook. I don't need them. They are only reminders of the stupid idea that someone like me could be with. " He pauses again. Abit longer this time. "Someone like you. You aren't good for me. Don't worry I know you will find someone." With that he walks away leaving me in a puddle of tears as I crumple to the ground on my knees. The next few hours after that we're a blur. I put the ring on. But on my middle finger. As a promise to myself to never love again. But I knew it wouldnt last  the next night I found out that Timothy had killed himself. I was at the hospital my dad is a doctor and I was visiting him. Timothy's dad came running in yelling for someone to help his son. There was alot of blood. It was obviously too late for him. Tears stream down my face and my jaw drops open. Suddenly I'm running and then I'm on my bike. Everything is foggy. One minute I'm looking at the love of my life's corpse the next miniute I'm going eighty down a curvy cliffside road in the pouring rain when the speed limit is fifty. The neighborhood kids used to all drag race down this mountain. I thought it would be fine. Besides I wasn't thinking rationally anymore. My face is red with tears and the force of rain. I grab my glasses from my front pocket to block the rain. And in the second it took to put them in Russell had appeared in front of me on the rode. Obviously more drunk than I'd ever seen him. He still had a bottle in his hand and was stumbling across the rode. But as soon as he seen my headlights he froze like a deer. I ended up swerving to avoid him and went over the railing. Tumbling down the mountain. I could feel every bone as they broke. I eventually splashed into the water peircing my stomach on a sharp rock. I did say I wanted a belly button peircing.

Dear diary,

             When I came out of the memory I was in my bed in tysons bedroom mirror. The memory started to fade but I still felt the fear. I looked around the infinite expanse of mirror. Empty except for the bed afew books and my sketchbook Wich is also a journal. I can feel the sweat pouring down my face and I begin to shiver. I don't know what just happened but it was terrifying. I look to the door of the room as it swings open. Tyson friend has just burst the door open and Tyson seems to be blinking awake from the light. "Dude are you guys ok?" He mumbled but is obviously scared. "I heard someone screaming. Like it was this horrible shrill shriek. Was it one of you?" Tyson lazily sits up. And says. "I don't know man go back to bed. Whatever it can wait till morning." Then he gets up and shuts the door in his freinds face. Leaving him stunned in the hallway. I follow him as he walks to his room Wich used to be the guest bedroom. But there are no mirrors in his room so I can't get in. Weird? 

Dear diary,

          I've been drawing so much today that my hands are aching. I mean they would be if they could. Muscle memory I guess? But I've been sitting in the living room mirror. Tyson's friend is watching TV. Weird his hair color is similar to mine. A raven black. It's really long too covering most of his eyes. But his hoodie does most of the work there. Right now he's watching some chic flick about vampires. Its actually really interesting. I bet it's really Popular right now. Today's generation is weird. But this guy is weirder. It's almost as if he's avoiding looking in mirrors. I should investigate that more. Ooh Tyson chicken nugget poo is home! Wait why does he have a suitcase? Is he going somewhere? Wait there are two. One pink one purple. And he seems to have a panthlet. Maybe I'll float closer and get a better look. I go into the reflection of a family portrait on the shelf. Hawaii?! His girlfriend runs in and squeals kissing him. Then she takes the pink suitcase and he puts his arm around her walking him to their room. I go to the TV to get a better look at the hallway and see him kissing Susan as he walks her into the bedroom to pack. When I glance back over at Tyson's friend is eyes are wide. He has his knees pushed up to his head and his feet on the couch. He seems to be hiding behind his legs. But he's staring at me. Oh wait it must be the vampires behind me. Weirdo. I chuckle to myself and he seems to flinch. I roll my eyes then head to the bedroom to make sure no funny business goes on. I better hurry!

Dear diary,

          I decided to take a nap and woke up afew days later. Since tyson went on the trip I have been bored out of my mind. But it seems something interesting is happening now. I'm in a mirror in the guest bedroom. I didn't know it had one. But the thing is I can't get out. There is a ring of salt around me and abunch of candles. And in front of me sits tysons friend. I think his name was Roscoe? But tyson calls him Rossy. He's just sitting there. Like he's daring me to leave. This guy is really creepy. Just staring at himself like that? In the dark? With candles and a ring of salt? Why is he so creepy? "Ok you know what." I break the silence. Then I copy the image and grab some salt and pour it around the door of the mirror and then I grab the candles and place them around the room. And I sit on the reflection of his bed. And I stare. "See dude? It's creepy! You are creepy!" All of a sudden he starts laughing and falls back on his bed. Holding his stomach in a laughing frenzy. "Says the ghost in my mirror." He looks up and says. Then he continues to laugh falling back on the bed. I blink. " You can see me?!" 

I shout as I stand up. My pencil still writing. I must write this as it's happening or I could forget. He gives me this confused look as if I suddenly have the butt of a hoarse for a head. Or something less weird. I think back to the other day. It was when he first got here Tyson was pouring cereal shirtless and we'll yes I may have been staring alittle... And drooling. Maybe. And rossy was there. Although I could barely see him I was so focused on tyson. He still had a bit of a bed head and was looking super hot. And he Wes wearing his tight ghost buster PJ's that look so good on him. And then I remember contemplating the ghost symbol with the exed out circle on it. Maybe he hates ghosts. And I was so deep in thought that I could barely hear Rossy saying hi or seeing him wave. I think back to another time. Rossy had just got out of the shower and I was sitting in the mirror. He takes cold showers too and it always feels nice too sit in the mirror then. It's like air conditioning. Or sitting in front of a fan on a hot summer day. It's really hot in the mirrors sometimes. Almost smothering. But sometimes I'm freezing. So times when I can pick are the best. I remember I was laying on the tile floor and drawing a picture of tyson. And not to brag but it looked just like him! I had drawn him shirtless so I could practice anatomy so I wouldn't forget and we'll, maybe I got alittle bit distracted. I think I remember seeing Rossy jump seeing me when he got out of the shower. I thought he slipped and fell or something. But he ended up being fine Wich is good. Man did that picture look good. Oh and this other time I was sitting on the reflection of the couch in the living room drawing the rain outside. And I admit I thought I was alone so to get comfortable i was just wearing a really baggy t-shirt that tyson had left on the dresser and my underwear.  I know I should be more careful with men living in the house and all that but it was So comfortable. And besides they can't see me. I also had my hair up in a cute messy bun and it was curly because it was still wet. You see I had showered earlier. I did start out wrapped in a fuzzy blanket one of the few belongings I have that are actually mine. But it ended up on the floor. Anyway Rossy walked in to watch TV and... 

I blush at the memory. And hide under the blanket. "Eek I am so sorry Roscoe! I um didn't realize you could see me! I usually act much more lady like but I had just got so used to nobody being able to see me for so many years!" I come out of the blanket tears in my eyes and a blush on my face. "Sorry I'm as red as a beet! I'm usually not like this. I'm so sorry." I paused and another memory of embarrassment pops into my head and my face gets even redder. "I don't think I've had this much colour in my skin in years." I try to laugh it off. then he rubs his face saying. "Oh my gosh no I'm sorry. I usually catch ghosts off gaurd because I'm so weird! It's my fault really!" I give him a look trying to be happy because now I have an audience. But a tear still runs down my cheek. "No. I should have paid closer attention to my surroundings. I should have noticed you." His demeanor is suddenly darker again and he chuckles creepily. "I'm used to not being notified." Then he reaches his hand up to the mirror slowly like he's going to touch my face. I roll my eyes and put my hand on the glass. "You can't." Then he reaches his hand through the glass sliding his foot through the salt and he wipes my tear away. Then he pulls his hand out of the mirror.i just look at him in horror. Now that the salt is broken I can run away. So I do he runs out into the hallway. "Wait!" But by this time I'm already in Scotts room. What was that?! Who is this guy? How did he do that? And why did it feel nice when he touched my cheek? Shadow hops up on dresser under the mirror and mews at me. "Awh good kitty. So cute. I wonder." I swiftly reach my hand out to the cat but only hit glass. "Ow!" I shake my hand. I gotta figure out how in the world he does that!

To be continued in part three


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329 Reviews


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Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:54 pm
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Dreamy wrote a review...



Hey there! So I thought I'll catch up with the story and I saw that you've made some changes which are great and a little bit confusing.

The second chapter has lots of to and fro of flashbacks and reality which were the confusing bits. Whenever, you write the flashback you say so which sort of kills the vibes? It's like reading an article with sub-headings. I'd rather you start with simpler and most effective ways of introducing the flashbacks like, "when I was alive..." or "A few years back..."

So the first chapter ends with Tyson's friend trapping the Ghost and they have one on one with each other but the second chapter again begins with how the Ghost likes Tyson so much and absolutely hates his girlfriends. I mean, the first chapter ended with a cliffhanger and it's obvious that the readers would expect the cliffhanger be addressed in the second chapter until much later, only it's the same thing scene written again.

There are many grammatical mistakes and typos which as I said earlier can be avoided once you proof-read them. In some places you forgot to captalise your Is and in other places random words are capitalised.

And he Wes wearing his tight ghost buster PJ's that look so good on him.


"And he was..."

Then he pulls his hand out of the mirror.i just look at him in horror. Now that the salt is broken I can run away. So I do he runs out into the hallway. "Wait!" But by this time I'm already in Scotts room. What was that?! Who is this guy? How did he do that? And why did it feel nice when he touched my cheek? Shadow hops up on dresser under the mirror and mews at me. "Awh good kitty. So cute. I wonder." I swiftly reach my hand out to the cat but only hit glass. "Ow!" I shake my hand. I gotta figure out how in the world he does that!


"So I do and he runs..." Scott's And instead of "swiftly" I feel "slowly" would work since she's only wondering and she could be doing it with caution? Of course, it's up to you.

I'm interested in where this will go.

Keep writing!

Cheers!




demoncat says...


Thank you for your feedback I will put it to use. Also I'm glad ur interested to see where it will go. I am writing part four right now and I do plan to address the part in part one where Roscoe trapped her in the mirror. Although I did wish to portray how the ghost kind of has her priorities mixed up here. So please continue reading. I think part for is my favorite so far.



demoncat says...


Thank you for your feedback I will put it to use. Also I'm glad ur interested to see where it will go. I am writing part four right now and I do plan to address the part in part one where Roscoe trapped her in the mirror. Although I did wish to portray how the ghost kind of has her priorities mixed up here. So please continue reading. I think part for is my favorite so far.



Dreamy says...


I sure will continue reading. :D



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Mon Aug 05, 2019 6:41 am
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0chomp_chomp0 says...



Ooh, I think I'm invested now. I read part one and was kinda disappointed that it was so short. I love the storyline and I'm excited to see where it goes from here. I did notice that there are a few misused conjunctions so I recommend Grammarly or a handy proofreader if you can get someone to do so. Other than that I really think that this type of story is very grasping and interesting.




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Mon Aug 05, 2019 6:40 am
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0chomp_chomp0 wrote a review...



Ooh, I think I'm invested now. I read part one and was kinda disappointed that it was so short. I love the storyline and I'm excited to see where it goes from here. I did notice that there are a few misused conjunctions so I recommend Grammarly or a handy proofreader if you can get someone to do so. Other than that I really think that this type of story is very grasping and interesting.




demoncat says...


Thank you I'm glad you like it. I will write the next part very soon! So keep an eye out. Lol I'm actually enjoying writing it so I'm glad it's being enjoyed by others.



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Mon Aug 05, 2019 5:36 am
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DottieSnark wrote a review...



Okay, I have to admit I'm a little confused right now. Maybe I misread something last chapter, but I thought your character had found someone in the mirror, but it's her in the mirror?

This chapter did flow a lot better than chapter one. I can see that you're improving. I saw that you didn't lable your flashbacks this time, but you still had them. It's still a little confusing because you're jumping from a diary entry to narration. I still think writing the flashback into the diary might be your best bet. Instead of using this as a transition:

My mind wanders to the past. When I was alive. I'm running? No driving.


Something like this might work better, so it seems like your character is still writing it in her diary.

Oh my God. I know where! It's from when I was alive. I was running...no driving...
and then write down the scene as if your character is writing it down (you should be able to use what you already wrote, you just need to fix that transition).

The other biggest issue with this chapter is the lack of paragraphs. It's not noticeable when you have short diary entries, but that last one is super long. You need to break that up into paragraphs so easy reading, otherwise your readers will more easily lose their place. Paragraphs give up little breaks to help keep us focused. Please add some in.

I still really like your ideas and am still curious about what's going to happen with your girl in the mirror and these boys. Keep writing! :D




demoncat says...


Thank you so much for the review I promise to with more soon. And I'll fix that part too.




Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and the shadows will fall beyond you.
— Walt Whitman