z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

Reflect me 5

by demoncat


warning there are some triggers and some gore in this story. Also this is part five so it would do you well to read the other parts before you read this. And I made a club where you can hear when I post the story. It's called demoncats writing! Now please enjoy the story.

Roscoe carries the locket over to the ocean. I have crawled back inside. It has become apparent to me that I cant bring my stuff with me out of the mirror so I wont be able to write in my sketchbook any more. Roscoe says he can only reach in the mirror when a ghost is there. Its too bad really. 

"so Ros? What is this genius plan of yours anyway?" I smirk through the tiny locket mirror. Roscoe is carrying. Me across the beach. Along with his hoodie. The beach is secluded at this time of day so it will be perfect. For whatever creepy ritual hes planning. 

"Oh. Im going to throw you into the ocean." he says casually. 

Now i am worried. "Dude you dont just go and tell someone. You are throwing them into the ocean! Thats not right." 

He stops. "Oh. I guess i hadn't considered if this didnt work." after he says that he continues walking confidently down the beach. Then his face gets alittle sadder for a second. "It will work. Trust me."  

I worry about him for a second then decide that it is best not to pry. He takes me down to the water. Then brings the locket up in front of his face so that we are looking at each other. "I will see you soon." I say putting my hand to the glass.

"It will work." He says reassuringly. "But before we do this I have something to say." He bites his lip and looks off to the side. The wind blowing the hair out of his face. Revealing his Crystal blue eyes.

"What is it?" I look at him hopefully.

"Um, I'll see you." He sighs.

I give him a disappointed look, then smile too. After our short goodbye he closes the locket, rears his arm back. Then he throws me into the sea.

Afew miniutes pass. Then an hour. "Come on Marie." Roscoe mumbles. Then the clouds break and a ray of sunshine shines directly where the locket landed in the water. A tear streams down Roscoe's face. Then another. Suddenly he is down in the sand crying. But then a look of determination creeps across his face. "No!" He stands and brushes off the sand as he runs partially into the water and yells. " Demon Marie Doogle! Demon Marie Doogle! Demon Marie Doogle!" The light fades away and storm clouds roll in. And the sun turns red. Lighting up the clouds red as well. A pool of blood appears in the water. Then it starts bubbling up and spewing out all over the area where the locket landed. It eventually starts to make it's way closer to Ros. Still bubbling and spewing. Almost as if it were boiling. 

As it comes closer a figure starts to emerge from the water. It is seriously deformed. Only bone and some muscle. You can see it's tendons move as it moves closer. Still quite far away. Then veins and more muscle crawl across it as it entangling with each other. You can see it's bare organs sloshing around in the sea water as the muscle enclosed them. It's heart beating rhythmically as the skin also begins to creep it's way across the form. During the entire process the figure seems to be screaming as if it is in great pain. It started out as a small gurgle but then it grew into a blood curdling screech. Shrill and hoarse as it was. The blood is still boiling out from the water. It also seems to be pouring out of the rather large gash on the creature's stomach. Like an endless waterfall of horror. After the skin was all in place fat cells begin to build up. They grow in all the right places giving her feminine curves. Then her hair grows. It falls majestically around her body. Curling down past her butt. Finally a film of endoplasmic layer enclosed around her. Healing her. Then all the mess washes away. And the clouds clear. It all leaves the girl wobbly and sore. She falls to her knees letting the water flow around her neck.

Roscoe runs twards her. When he reaches her he catches her before she passes out in water face first. Then he lifts her out of the water to slip his hoodie around her letting it swallow her past her butt. Then he picks her up out of the water the rest of the way and carries her back to the car.

I blink in confusion as I awake in the strange surroundings. I am laying on Roscoe's bed wrapped in a burrito of blankets. And I'm wearing clothes I don't remember. All except for Roscoe's hoodie. I recognized a cigarette. Urn in the sleeve. It was there when he got the hoodie.

Susan walks in with a book in hand. Looking down at it as she sits in the chair in the corner. When she looks up and sees me she jumps dropping her book. "Oh MY GOD! Your awake! Sorry my clothes are Abit big on you.  But I'm surprised. I didn't know little Rossie knew anyone this cute! Well I didn't know he had freinds at all. Ooh girl we are gonna be the best of friends! I can tell already!"

"Where is Ros?" I say still alittle drowsy and sore.

"Oh he went down to the mall to buy you a temporary wardrobe. But don't you worry about a thing. We will buy you some proper clothes later." She winked. "Oh and i see you like the locket he got you. I helped him pick it out! The poor guy is simply clueless when it comes to women."

Suddenly my stomach growls. "I'm hungry." i cant help but growl is i say that. Then i hear the front door slam. 

"Speak of the devil." susan says. "Tyson! Were back here sweetie!" she yells down the hall. My breath catches in my throat. And my heart pounds faster.

Tyson comes in carrying four boxes of little kings pizza, two bags of silly bread, and four dairy princess snowstorm milkshakes. "Hey girlie. I see your up. Bought you some grub!" he clicks his tongue and winks. A habit I always found charming coming from him. He hands me a s'mores snowstorm, one of the bags of silly bread, and two of the pizzas.

I set the snowstorm on the bedside table. Then put the rest beside me on the bed. "Thanks." i smile warmly twards him. I couldve sworn he blushed alittle. 

"Hey uh leave some pizza for Roscoe. His snowstorm. Is in the fridge. And uhh i'll let sue get back to talking your head off!" tyson laughs as susan play smacks him out of the room and shuts the door. 

Then she gives me a worried look. "Hey im not talking too much or anything. Am I? Because i can go if you want." she points to the door with her thumb then awkwardly awaits my answer.

"Well maybe alittle. But i'm used to it. My grandmother used to talk alot." i say trying to be thoughtful. 

"Oh you poor dear. Im so sorry. You lost everything in the mudslide. You must miss her?" she gives me a sad look.

"Um. Yeah?" i guess thats Rossys excuse for me not having anything.

"And you were in the shower when it happened. Right? You poor thing. Couldnt even grab some clothes."

"Um yeah, i guess thats how it happened. Its all kind of fuzzy though." im not a very good liar so i come up with something simple to get her to leave. "I think i wanna focus on eating. Im really tired."

"Well sure thing! You get your rest baby doll! If you need anything. Im in the room down the hall. And tyson should be in the living room playing brick craft." with that she leaves.

Afew miniutes later i hear the front door open again. Then someone walks down the hall and opens the door. Roscoe stumbles in with alot of bags in hand. But he quickly drops them all when he sees that im awake.

"Mai? Your awake?" his voice is shaky with joy. He walks over and sits on the bed next to me.

"Hey." i say to him. I cant stop smiling. "Tyson brought pizza. And your icecream is in the ...." he cuts my sentence off with a kiss. At first i am just shocked. But then i kiss him back. Sitting up as i do so. I wrap my arms around my waist, linking my fingers behind his back. It startles him for a second then he gives me one more long kiss and pulls away.

"Hey. This kind of like that one sissy vampire movie you like!" i laugh making him laugh in return. "Go get your icecream boy!" i say in a fake commanding voice.

"Oh yes ma'm." he says, then jumps and spins around with a goofy smile plastered all over his face. When he comes back he lays next to me with his arm around my shoulders. I lay my head on his chest. And take a bite of my silly bread.

"Let me try your icecream!" i command suddenly. 

"You have your own!" he chuckles.

"Yes i do. But yours is different! So surrender the icecream!" i reach my spoon twards his cup, but he holds it out of my reach. "No fair!" your too tall!" 

"Ok fine. I will give you a bite on one condition." he smirks.

"And what would that be?" i fake pout. Then he places his hand on my face and gazes into my eyes for a second.

"A kiss. From a beautiful girl." he says in a serious voice. 

As he starts to lean forward i say, "well susan is in the other room." i giggle. He rolls his eyes. "What? You said girl not ghost! I identify as undead!"

He kisses me cutting off my rant again. "I think i have found your weakness Miss super woman." he jokes. "Also i need to stop showing you memes!"

"I think so too." i kiss him this time. "You are my kryptonite you nerd!" then we laughed and ate pizza until we fell asleep.

I wake up the next morning and Rossy is in the kitchen cooking a rather large breakfast. I sneak up behind him and pounce. "Rawr!"

Rossy jumps almost out of his skin. "Ah!" he squeals. Then i kiss his cheek. Although i have to stand on my tippy toes to do so. "Oh you scared me!" he gasped now able to breath again.

"Are you going to be able to eat all this?" i give him a questioning look. Then my stomach growls. Loudly.

"Its for everyone. But mostly you." i qive him a questioning look. He sighs and pulls his bangs back from his eyes. "Your new body needs alot of nutrients to stick around. Mostly meat."

"So im basically a zombie now?" i ask.

"A cute zombie." he replies and kisses my forehead.

I look across the assortment of bacon, sausage, eggs, biscuits, chocolate and regular gravy, waffles,pancakes, bluberry and chocolate muffins, and a fruit salad. "Do. I have to eat all this?"

He smirks as he hears footsteps walking twards the kitchen. "No but its not all for you. Most of it is for tyson. He eats like a pig!" he says the last part louder.

Almost as if on cue tyson waltzes in. "Hey i heard that!" i chuckle. "Hey girlie." he winks and clicks his tongue again. I roll my eyes and smile. smile want to play some brick craft while we eat?" he nods twards the game on the screen in the living room. 

"Sure just let me grab my food." i say "i do love brick craft."  i wink back at him and click my own tounge picking on him.he laughs and fills up every corner of his plate. Then he heads twards the living room and unpauses his game. 

When i turn around Rossy already has plates made for me and him. He has a concerned look on his face. "Hey you bare the only guy for me now. Ok?" i pull him down by the collar of his shirt and hive him a long amazing kiss. "And if you are still worried than you can come chaperone." 

He gives me a half hearted smirk. "I think i will. But only because its really funny to watch you try to play video games!" i notice his plate has alot less on it.

"You know you are lucky that my dad taught me how to eat babe! He always used to say, "marie! The best way to someones heart is food! So always eat alot!" my goofy impression sounded more like santa then my dad but rossy got the point.

He started laughing his head off at me. "You are adorable!" he laughs scruffing my hair up a bit. Then he hands me my plate and puts his arm around my shoulders.

But as we head into the living room we bump into susan. "Whoops. Ooh i see the lovebirds have left their love nest!" i blush as she says that. "Oh im just messing with you dearie! But how little old Russy managed to snag a girl like you i will never know." she prances over to the counter and grabs a bluberry muffin and some OJ. "Oh by the way we are going shopping today! Just the girls!"

I give roscoe a concerned look. Then i turn my attention back to susan. "But i dont have any money."

This seems to make susan and rossy laugh. "Silly girl. Im paying. Well ore like tyson is. Hes loaded so its cool!" she smiles at me.

"Are you sure? I wouldnt want to impose." i clench the bottom of Rossies hoodie nervously.

Then tyson walks back in and props his elbow on my head. "Of course girlie! Anything for my brothers girl!" he winks clicking his tongue.

I think for a second. Then realization creeps its way across my face, and my jaw drops. "Wait. You guys are brothers?" i squeak and turn around to gape at Rossy. 

"Wow bro you didnt tell her? I see how loved i am!" tyson acts shocked.

"Well i guess he loves me more!" i smirk then i shay shay my way over to the large sofa.  When i lean over to set my food down on the table my back is facing the two boys. Then i plop down on the couch, i motion for Rossy. To come with my finger, and i make my prettiest face.

At this point Rossies face is redder than tysons hair! He eventually joined me and i lay my head in Rossies lap. 

During your meal i proceed to kill tyson a thousand. Times on brick craft. "Dude that's not how you play!" he moans.

"Ok i have an idea! Lets go to creative mode and both build a fort. Then we have to try to tear down each others house with different creatures.whoever does the most damage wins!"

"You are so on girlie!" 

"Ha i beat you so quickly!" i gloat.

"Hey marie!" susan yelled. "Get ready to go!" her voice echoed from down the hall. 

"Hey Rossy,  how about you show me the clothes you bought so i can pick something out?"

He blushes. "Oh Sure." then we make our way back to his room.

"Ok Rossy. I think ive got what im gonna wear. Now shoo!" i push him out of the room.

"Wait wich one are you wearing?" he asks.

"You can see when im wearing it you dork!" i close the door behind him.

Once im all ready i head to the living room. And tyson is the first to see me. He smirks as his eyebrow lifts. Gaze never leaving me he taps Roscoe. Afew times on the chest to break his attention away from his game. And when he sees me his jaw drops a little and his eyes go wide. He tries to say something but all that comes out is "uh." then he smiles his goofy smile.

The outfit i picked was a Galaxy themed mini skirt and a black low cut tank top. The socks are long and go up to my lower thigh. They are black and have pictures of mario on them. My tennis shoes are black as well. I put my hair up in two braids that hang down in front. Susan helped me with my makeup. Grey and black smokey eye and pink lip tint. Her mascara really makes my amber eyes pop.

"Woof!" tyson says in a deep manly voice. Roscoe turns around to glare at him. 

"You look amazing!" he grins goofily.

"And here i thought you just liked me for my personality! Im glad my looks are a factor!" i giggle.

"Alright lets go!" susan walks in wearing a stunning tan dress that stands apart from her dark skin. 

As we were leaving i look into the mirror. Thus saying goodbye to that part of me. But then i seen something. And it couldve been my imagination,  but i thought i seen someone else in the reflection. Someone who wasnt standing behind me.

To be continued in part six.


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25 Reviews


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Sun Aug 25, 2019 12:13 am
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DottieSnark wrote a review...



Hey Demoncat! Sorry it took so long for me to write this review. Anyway, I love this story and I can really see how passionate you are about it. Also, your writing has really come a long way since the first chapter. Your scenes are starting to come alive and it’s so much easier to follow now.

Your characters are really starting to take on a life of their own. They’re starting to sound like their own people with their own ways out talking. You’ve done a great job of switching between characters during their lines of dialogue. A lot of writers having “talking head syndrome” which is when the characters just talk without them actually being describe, but you give a pretty good balance between dialogue and action/movement. There’s still room for improvement, but it really is better than most writer’s I’ve seen.

The one thing I think you could do to bring your scenes to even more life is to describe the setting and surroundings more, and add in a little more narration. You describe what your character’s do, but you aren’t describing their locations. What does the room they’re in look like? How they are they interacting with the scenery. You also could get into Marie’s head a little more. How does she feel about what’s going on? How does Roscoe and his friends make her feel? What does she think about everyone? Etc.

Also, while the spelling is improving I really suggest using a word processor with a spell check to either write in or at least check your spelling with. There are a lot of easy mistakes, such as capitalization and missing apostrophes, that a spell check should be able to easily catch for you. I know it seems like such a small thing, but those kinds of mistakes really can turn off readers.

Anyway, great chapter. I can’t wait for the next one.




demoncat says...


Thank you for your feedback i rlly appreciate it.



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Sun Aug 11, 2019 9:33 am
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Dreamy wrote a review...



Hey, demoncat!

I can feel your excitement seeping through the screen while reading this. I love writers who are excited about their story. But I have to say this, you really need to proof-read your chapters before you post them here. It's really hard to read through stuffs with too many typos and errors. Please proof-read them next time. Proof-reading will help the readers concentrate more on the story and the characters. It'll give more space to know your characters and their intention in doing things. When it's not proof-read, one can get really tired and not focus on the story, ok?

So, on with the story now: I liked the narration switch here. I guess I like this narration more than the diary one. This feels more natural to read. But the beginning of the chapter threw me off a bit. You said in the disclaimer that you've changed the POV but when you publish your story as a book, you won't have disclaimers on each and every chapter, right? So instead of disclaiming the change in POV, just incorporate the change within the story.

It has become apparent to me that Icant bring my stuff with me out of the mirror so I wont be able to write in my sketchbook any more. Its too bad really.


For example, something like: Ros is carrying me out to the sea and I couldn't bring any of my stuff to the mirror in the locket because of lack of space; I miss my sketchbook, it's too bad really.

Or something along the lines of this, you decide.

Oh. I guess i hadn't considered if this didnt work."


Instead of "didn't" I think, "will" will work. haha

I set tje snowstorm on the bedside table. Then put the rest beside me on the bed. "Thanks." i smile warmly twards him. I couldve sworn he blushed alittle.

"Hey uh leave some pizza for Roscoe. His snowstorm. Is in the fridge. Ailluh i'll let sue get back to taljing your head off!" tyson laughs as susan play smacks him out of the room and shuts the door.

Then she gives me a worried look. "Hey im not talking too much or anything. Am I? Because i can

i shay shay my way over ti the large sofa.


So this why I insist you to proof read because half the words in these sentences doesn't even make sense. I know you're excited to share but it won't take too much of time to edit the work a bit before you publish them.

Ros and Tyson are brothers?! Woah, I did not expect that! Susan actually sounds like a cool girl and I really wish Susan and Marie become best friends. I can totally see them as best friends. Ros and Marie are cute together. It makes me happy.

This chapter has an amazing cliff hanger. I can't wait to know what was standing next to Marie! Ahhhh!

Keep writing!

Cheers! :D




demoncat says...


Sorry about all the typos I had to type fast because I was loosing wifi.... I plan to go back and fix those soon! And I'm so glad you like the story! Thank you for your feedback and thank you for reading! Part six will be out soon.



demoncat says...


Ok I fixed the typos if you wanna read it again so sorry I hadn't realized there were so many!!




"What is a poet? An unhappy person who hides deep anguish in his heart, but whose lips are so formed that when the sigh and cry pass through them, it sounds like lovely music."
— Søren Kierkegaard, Philosopher & Theologian