*This fanfic is under my folder titled “Are you afraid of the dark? (Season 1 2019 fanfics)”. It’s a fanfic of the main villain of the 2019 show “Are you afraid of the dark?” in the first season. There are only three episodes since it’s a miniseries, but I wanted to do what the Nickelodeon show (yes, it’s a Nickelodeon show) didn’t: Delve more into the past of the main villain, Marcus Cochran, AKA Mr. Tophat. This is my AU mixed with what little I know of him from the show. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Marcus ran towards Bart, who raking up dead leaves in his yard, holding the coin, excitement pumping in his veins.
“Bart! Bart! We have to go to the city, we have to-“
“Why? Aren’t you supposed to be picked up by people from the orphanage?” Bart asked, his eyebrows creasing with concern.
“No, I don’t need to do that. Daddy gave me this coin after he died!” Marcus beamed.
Marcus showed Bart the coin, who squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at it.
“This coin is super fancy! No one has ever seen a coin like this! We can use it to start a carnival in the city! Daddy said he liked the carnival, he would be happy if-“
“What makes you think that’s possible?”
Marcus thought about it. He never tried to do anything like he wanted to do. But maybe…maybe it was worth it.
“I don’t know, but we should try, right?”
Bart propped the rake up on the ground and stared off in the distance, thinking deeply as he leaned against the rake. He couldn’t think, he had to help Marcus.
If Daddy gave Marcus a coin with a scorpion on it and talked about loving the coin so much, then shouldn’t Marcus go out to the big city to show the important people the coin and get a carnival that way? He was only a little boy, but maybe he could be the youngest ringmaster ever!
Of course, he couldn’t go to the city without Bart, whom he saw as the older brother he never had. It just felt wrong to go without him!
“Please, Bart? Can we go to the city? Please?”
Bart sighed and stopped leaning on the rake, saying with a stern expression:
“Alright, we’ll go. But if anything bad happens, anything, we’re coming back here. Understood?”
Marcus nodded. He understood. He understood that nothing would happen and everything would be fine.
“Good. Then let’s go.”
With that, Bart took Marcus’ hand and the two set out for an adventure.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Fanfics that connect to this:
Scorpions, scorpions
Go and play, Marcus
The death of Marjorie Cochran
The death of Benjamin Cochran
The choice
Okay another Bart story , here we go.
I think here’s a “was” missing: “ towards Bart, who raking up dead leaves”
Ah bc there is more meat in this, it might be good to interrupt your dialogue with descriptions of actions and the surroundings!
Hng I still don’t like Bart… Poor, naïve little kid…
Aww “Marcus nodded. He understood. He understood that nothing would happen and everything would be fine.” That is so not what understanding means, little one. But so believable and in character for a kid!
Heyya!!
This is short and it disappointed me a little, but I can understand why thanks to your description.
I love how Bart first shows this nonchalant kind of behavior before caving. It's sweet and heartwarming . . . Even if you have informed me that Marcus is to be a villain.
From just what you have written and what you have described, you have a left a window open for people like me who haven't seen the miniseries. We can see an opening but it leaves us curious. Why is Marcus a villain? He seems so eager, who crushed his spirit? After all, Villains aren't born. They're made.
I like the scene set up. You did a good job setting up a vision, but I would suggest diving deeper on detail. What do these people look like? What do YOU see when writing this? Is it snowing? Raining? Are there cars zooming down a road or is it empty?
It's important to put these details in because it draws your reader in deeper. Even if you know what you mean, we don't. Details help us Invision your thoughts.
Hope that helps a little!
Have a wonderful day/night! Keep writing awayyy! <3
~ Taost