*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Are you afraid of the dark? (Season 1 2019 fanfics)”. It’s a miniseries and focuses on the main character, but I thought that the Nickelodeon show’s antagonist (Marcus Cochran, AKA Mr. Tophat) was so interesting that I took what little information was on the three-episode miniseries and added in my own lore! I hope that you enjoy this and Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33 [2]”. Happy Screamster!*
Marcus sat on his bed, moving the coin in his hand, turning it on both sides. There was a scorpion on both sides, not a single thing was different about it. He had told Bart about what happened to Daddy and Bart had told the town, then the town took Daddy away to be buried with Mommy.
Daddy had gone to the woods to find Mommy’s dead body, so she could be buried properly, at the local cemetery. That was who he was, someone who cared.
Marcus had thrown the scorpion in the woods earlier, the nasty thing that had killed his father. Mommy was right, scorpions were dangerous.
Marcus thought about what Daddy said about the carnival being the happiest thing in his childhood, about the carnival being the best ever. Why did he say that to Marcus? Why…
He heard stories of children like him, from his Mommy, about how they had a dream and made it happen with believing. In all of her stories, it happened in the city, with the mansions and the inventions.
What if Daddy wanted him to…to make a carnival? To make other people smile? Besides talking about scorpions, he always wanted to start a carnival.
What better place to do it than in the city?
Sure, Marcus was small and the city was big, but he could do it. He had to do it. He couldn’t just be sent off to an orphanage, hoping for a home. No home would ever be the same as his.
He had to do it. For his parents.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hi! great piece of work. Honestly, while i did love it, i haven't seen "Are You Afraid of the Dark" in a while, but this is a good reminder, especially of Marcus' character! it portrays a scarily child-like innocence, and leaves to question what was intended, what was on accident, and what was misunderstood. i do however find it confusing how Marcus suddenly switches from "daddy" to "father".
I was attempting to show how Marcus starts to see his Dad in a different light, but yeah, I get why it could be confusing.
I am glad you enjoyed reading this.
Hello creeper! Stopping by for a quick review!
Flowers - striking details in the work that made me smile
You've got that childlike voice down to a science, and it makes it all the more creepy!
Marcus' motive is crystal clear - well done!
Record Scratch - areas that lacked clarity or disrupted the flow
Grammar feels a bit off here. How about: "There was a scorpion on each side, identical in every way."
Had he thrown the coin, or an actual scorpion? I feel a little lost here in general with the sequence of events and what exactly happened.
Sunshine - overall positive takeaways and words of encouragement
I love that you took the tiny bit of information about this character that existed and ran with it, creating all this backstory! Definitely helps him feel more complex than just your typical villain, especially when we look at his story all the way back to when he was a little kid. It's a lot easier to have empathy for a kid!
Nicely done!
Wolfi
In a previous fanfic, he threw an actual scorpion into the woods.
Glad you enjoyed!