Go and play, Marcus

Hey there! I always love your stories, so I decided to stop by for a review of this quick one. Let's jump right into the review, shall we?

I know you mentioned that this is a fan in fiction and just a little snippet, there is a lot to read here, but I did enjoy it. We have our two characters, Marcus and Bart. Marcus seems to be a younger boy, his mother wants him to go outside and play, but he doesn't really want to. But is this older boy that he seems to look up to, especially because it seems like he always does a great job at plowing the fields. Marcus runs up to him and asks if he can watch, because he seems to admire this boy. You decide to let him watch, so he seems to run this chair. I will have to read the rest of this to understand all the context, but what I can say, for this part, it was very fast-paced and simple, but I like your writing style.

“Knock yourself out.” He said, pointing to a wooden chair that was a safe distance from the field.

Marcus excitedly ran up to the chair. Finally, finally something to do!

I like this part the best. I like the quote he uses "knock yourself out". That's an interesting phrase, because I feel like you could almost be interpreted as literally doing something to yourself. I'm eager to see what's going to happen next. I wonder what's going to happen between these boys and when he's watching him plow the fields. Overall, I also did like the tics that you used in the last sentence repeating the word finally I like how you broke up your lines. That made it a lot easier to follow along with and read. Overall, fantastic work, and I look forward to reading more.

Your friend,
Ellie

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

Marcus walked outside, bored out of his mind. Mommy made him go outside to play, even though he didn’t particularly want to.

As he walked, he noticed his neighbor, Bart, the older boy, plowing the fields. He always did such a good, clean job.

Marcus ran up to him and tugged his pant leg.

“Can I watch?” Marcus asked.

Bart shrugged.

“Knock yourself out.” He said, pointing to a wooden chair that was a safe distance from the field.

Marcus excitedly ran up to the chair. Finally, finally something to do!

Oooh well this is quite an interesting moment. On the surface going ahead and just playing with the neighbors sounds like it would be a very innocent endeavor there. Generally when you're allowed to go and play with the neighbors its quite a happy time and you're just glad to be getting out the house. Marcus seems no different there and yet that ending is leaving me in cold sweats. Maybe its the fact that there's a chair involved and of course last time Marcus was near a chair we know what happened to the poor child.

The thing that really puts me on edge here is how there's just a casual instruction to go knock himself out. I mean of course that's a very normal phrase, especially among kids, but the way things went down in the previous one and that chair is making me quite paranoid at the moment. This feels like its going to end up being bad.

Overall this is quite the piece here, really digs into the paranoia you created through that previous work while somehow remaining wholesome at face value there. Overall an interesting read.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate