*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Are you afraid of the dark? (Season 1 2019 fanfics)”. This is the origin of a villain from season 1 of the Nickelodeon 2019 show “Are you afraid of the dark?”. The show itself does not focus much on the villain’s past, only that he got a coin with scorpions on both sides from his father and made a deal with the devil for his carnival. I say show, but it’s more like a miniseries. There was only three episodes for season 1 and season 2 and 3 are different stories. I just added some stuff in. (Bart was originally in the show with Marcus though). Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2].” Enjoy!*
Marcus held onto Bart’s hand as they jumped on a moving cart of the train. They had to catch the train quickly so that they could make their trip to the city!
Luckily, the both of them had made it to the cow cart. It reeked of manure, but that wouldn’t matter, because soon, Marcus would be working to start a carnival, Bart and his father’s special coin by his side, nothing stopping him and-
“You do realize that you’re seven years old, right? How do you think you’re going to start a whole carnival? I understand that you’ll be happier doing this than waiting in an orphanage, but really, Marcus…what’s your plan?” Bart asked, sitting down on a pile of hay.
Marcus shifted uncomfortably. He knew that he was little, but he thought that Bart believed in him. Why did he ask Marcus what his plan was when Marcus figured it out already?!
“I’m going to work hard, that’s what I am going to do. It’s what Daddy would have wanted.” Marcus said.
To which, Bart laughed and shook his head. Marcus felt his heart sink as he watched his friend, for what was so funny? Marcus just said what he felt like! He just said what he thought was right!
“That alone won’t get you a carnival! This kind of stuff takes time. I think that when we get to the city, we should do work for a rich family, that way, we’ll make money and gain skill with maintaining a property. Well, you anyway, since you’ve never done any farm work in your life and-“
“But I don’t want to work for a rich family! I just want to start my carnival now! I already told you!”
“You said you want to work, right? This is what work is. There’s not much better options for kids like us in the city. It’s either that or working in a factory. You don’t want us to work for a factory, do you? There’s no guarantee that we’ll be safe there. I know that you want to start your carnival now, but good things take time. I promise you, it will happen.” Bart said with a smile.
Marcus didn’t say anything more, he just slumped against a pile of hay. The idea of working for someone else wasn’t that appealing to him, but Bart was fifteen years old, and he knew a lot of things, so maybe it wouldn’t last too long.
He just hoped that he would be able to start his carnival soon!
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We’ve got to go to the city!
I love how they decide to talk about the plan after they are already executing the plan. That's... so typical child-like =D
Oh wow , never mind. Bart is that much older than Marcus and he still went with the plan? HOW? He should know better instead of berating that poor child!
I like how it comes across that Marcus really doesn't know any better and that he puts all his faith into Bart bc he's older. It does make me wonder if he's not a bit too idealistic. It makes me think that Bart was already running away and Marcus is just tagging along and Bart just didn't want to bother with discouraging the kid.
But from your A/N, I guess the carnival thing does work out for Marcus... One way or another, huh? @@
It works out, but bad things happen.
Glad you enjoyed! I like your profile pic!
Hiya, it's mint, back with a review! These children seem so innocent that I fear for what will happen to them in the city ;-; Somehow, I doubt Marcus will be able to start his carnival soon... But for now, perhaps they can enjoy the adventure? :')
This was a lovely (well, also slightly secondhandly painful) scene of Marcus running away with his dreams and Bart pulling him rudely back to earth. These two seem to have a strong, healthy bond, which is great to see. I'm curious to see how the dynamic of this duo will continue and change over time!
Er... it might've been better to ask that before you both jumped on the train, no? >.> xD In any case, I think it'd be great if you could add more details on the characters' appearances. For example, what facial expression is Bart making right now? Also, is the tone of his words kind or skeptical? This could help the reader visualize them better!
This part felt a little stiff to me. I think it's because of the word "assumed"; it's more advanced vocabulary than I would expect a seven-year-old to know. While I know this sentence isn't Marcus's direct thoughts, for some reason I still expected phrasing more like "he thought" instead of "he assumed". This could totally just be a me thing, though!
I'm curious how Bart knows that >.> Knowing random things does fit with his characterization as the older brother figure, though.
Promises are dangerous, especially in stories... Bart better stay safe ToT
Aw, Marcus's optimism is adorable.
One last suggestion-- I think you could combine this with the previous part ("We’ve got to go to the city!"). This combination would still be short enough to review while giving the reviewer a bit more context and content to work with ^^ Or since you've already published this, maybe something to keep in mind for the future? Just if you want, of course!
Thanks for sharing, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! =D
So glad you enjoyed and thanks for your suggestions!
I made another fanfic of this:
Servitude
Cool, thanks for letting me know! I shall review it soon ^^
Yayy!