*This story is underneath my folder titled “Siren’s Desire”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
In a seaside town called “Moon’s Beach” there lived a sixteen year old boy named Finn Stewart, who had two friends the same age as him named Skylar and Lorelei.
Finn loved to go out surfing with his friends on the beach, taking in all of the beauty around him, relishing the moment before summer ended and he was kept locked up for the cold months. He saw life as something to be spent leisurely, not to stress over too much and make himself worry over something that may not even occur.
But, there was one worry on his mind and that was Lorelei. She was more of a dreamer than he was, for she spoke about how she wished she could run off into the sea and find out if the legendary male siren, Israfel Armani, really existed. It was true that teenage girls seemed to disappear in Moon’s Beach quite frequently and a boy named Israfel Armani was actually alive many, many, many centuries ago, but the part about him being a siren was mostly regarded as fiction.
Still, Finn found it eerie that teenage girls kept disappearing and he hoped that Lorelei would not do anything reckless and run off. It was a little nagging fear in the back of his mind, something he tried so hard to ignore, something he told himself not to make a fuss of and then, one day-
Lorelei was gone. She didn’t text him. Didn’t text Skylar either. Her parents just said that they went into her room and she wasn’t there.
So, Finn’s calm, slightly ignorant peace had rocked like a boat on choppy waters and he dearly hoped that his friend would come back, that she wasn’t gone forever.
He always knew that there was something about her, but certainly, that didn’t mean Lorelei would never return, right?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Okay, I do have vague memories of these characters. Looking forward to learning more about them!
Literally locked up? I hope not @.@Okkk
I really like that he keeps the hope up that Lorelei might return and knowing you, that might really be the case… She might just not return… normal.
Feels like this could use a bit more of an emotional reaction from Finn tho
Yes, I do agree that I need to give him more depth. Perhaps I shall make more on him, someday.
Thanks for reviewing!
Heyy.. Alwaysea here! I was searching for some short stories to read and found yours. I’m really glad I did.
The story is very well written. It captures that teenage phase so beautifully—spending time with friends, dreaming of adventures, and feeling confident enough to rule the world. I liked how every group seems to have those familiar types of people—a thinker, a dreamer, an adventurer, a pursuer. Reading about Sky, Finn, and Lorelei immediately reminded me of my own group of friends. I could easily relate, and honestly, I was definitely more like Finn back then.
As I went deeper into the story, I started wondering if maybe, just maybe, this could have really happened. The moment I realized that only girls were disappearing, so many questions came to my mind. Why only girls? Really Israfel is the one who is making girls disappear? Did Lorelei actually go into the sea searching for him? And most of all, what exactly happened to the missing girls—are they gone forever, or are they being held somewhere? That mystery gave the story such an exciting edge.
I also loved how Finn cared so much about Lorelei, and how Sky did too. Their worry showed the bond of friendship and loyalty in such a touching way. I found myself hoping right alongside them for Lorelei to come back. That part made the story emotional and human, even while keeping the suspense alive.
In the end, I really enjoyed this piece. It had everything I like in a story—loyalty, friendship, adventure, mystery, and that suspense that keeps you thinking even after finishing. I’d really love to know what happens further.
(If you get some time, please do check out a few of my works as well.)
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story, and as always—keep rocking 😎
I%u2019m very glad you enjoyed this! You can read some more stories about this under my folder %u201CSiren%u2019s Desire%u201D.