A blank paper tortures the weakened mind,
For the words seem lost and refuse to line;
The muse no longer shines
Through chanted rhymes,
The ink dries as time flies,
And the hand hungers for its supply
The poet craves for the vanished inspiration
But soon he's defeated by unbearable frustration;
Thus remains the blank paper,
Waiting for words to come later
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey there, cpedro. Hey, I'm almost as old as you! We oldies gotta stick together!
I usually don't like how rhyming poetry goes, but you have some nice images and ways of putting things. As poems about writer's block goes, this one seems pretty original.
In particular, I really like the line "the muse no longer shines." It speaks to something that most writers have experienced, where inspiration doesn't come in a bolt of lightning anymore, and you just kind of have to slog through it until you find something good again.
As for criticism, I don't have very much. The second to last line does sound a little forced, though it's grammatically correct. It just doesn't sound very natural and it was obviously switched around to make the end rhyme successful. Try saying instead,
By taking out "desired," the meter is preserved, and it has the same meaning.
Altogether, nice job. I hope that this review proves useful to you. Happy writing!
Hello Morrigan, thank you so much for reviewing!
You are right about the last two verses, they were forced and 'stretched' to fit the rhyme because when I wrote it, it was all that came to mind but I like the way you propose. If I'm allowed to I'll use the way you wrote! ;D
Once again thank you!
To start with, great job!
This portrays a feeling that every author, good or bad, has felt at one time or another. Whether you are a poet, a novelist, a short story writer, or just writing a simple review; sometimes the words just won't come along!
I think that when you are writing, you brain turns into a jar. This jar is fill with words, phrases, thoughts and ideas: everytime you need more to write a little invisible hand reaches in, stirs the mix around, and grabs a random thing. Sometimes though, that jar has been closed by that cruel, harsh, monster known simply by the name of "Lack of Inspiration."
You poem itself is very good, all of it flows well, all exept for one little part (give it a second). If we rated other peoples work on a scale of 1-10 potatoes, I would give it 9 1/2 golden potatoes.
So, that on little part I feel did not flow well:
The muse no longer shines
Through chanted rhymes,
I feel like this could use more, it is short and... blocky. I cannot think of an example of how I think it should be redone, but something more like,
"The muse inside no longer shines
And won't supply those chnated rhymes"
That's not it... But do you see what I am trying to say?
I truly did love this poem, so great job and keep writing!
Hello AutoPilot , thank you so much for reviewing! I mean what you want to say about those verses. Compared with the rest they are smaller and it kinda breaks the flow, but at the time it was all it came to mind. Even so I'll try to come up with something else later.
By the way I loved your metaphor with the jar, very beautiful.
Once again thank you!
Great job cpedro!
I love the way you put your frustration of not having anything to write into this great poem(I hate drawing a blank when writing).
Hello smartdog90, thank you for the comment!
Hi cpedro, Felistia here with a review on your poem.
Okay so right into the review.
Rhythm: I really love that you decided to run a small rhyming pattern through the poem, it really helps with the flow of the poem. Over all the rhythm is good. If I had to nit-pick it would be that the first two lines are a lot longer than the next two lines, but that is a small nit-pick that you can ignore.
Small problems: The only problem I have is that there is no punctuation at all. Poems really need punctuation in them. With out punctuation it is like a horse with no rider. I strongly advice to add punctuation. Other than that though it was good.
Theme: I really love the theme you have running through this poem. (I hate it when I feel like writing, but can't seem to think of anything to put on the page, so I can really relate to this poem.)
Over all a great poem and I look forward to more of your work. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.
Hello felistia, thank you for reviewing!
About the punctuation you're definitely right and I'll go and add it. This is a work from a few years back and before uploading I forgot to retify it.
Thank you once again.
P.S. Yes, those moments when you have everything set up and the right mood to write but nothing comes out are horrible!