Young Writers Society

hi. here's a review>

i love the poem. everything is very beautiful with the usage of highly descriptive words~

a quick grammar nitpick:

the cluttered remains of our favorite memory is

"remains" is plural so "is" should be "are".

back to the main part.

you are soaked in a twilight moon- the dark purple
hues refracting into star-shards,

i love the usage of the second person pronoun in the poem. using it the first thing in the poem really draws me in. however, the first line ends rather abruptly because the "dark purple" into "hues" in the second line really throw the flow off which isn't apparent in the rest of the poem. i feel "the dark purple hues" in the first line would flow better or "dark purple hues" immediately without "the".

darkening, oranges to black, pinks into absence.

this line here is really nice but i feel it should be more parallel. if you decide to use plural form, it better applies to the whole line like "oranges to blacks" or "pinks into absences" and vice versa.

i like how it was going from jeans to the galaxy theme. it was interesting and nice contrast: concrete and abstract. i hope to see more of this symbolism from basic to otherworldly!

have a nice day!