The Other Side of Mars

Hi, RPP here. Showin you what I thought of this: Here it goes!!
The title REALLY fits the poem which is good. Most people struggle with that.
My favorite line(s) would have to be: We found our laughter therein,

For now, in age, a sad tale is told.

The way we used to,

The way we did,

Once before…..

“I hate and I love”, you said.
This is a great line due to formatting and message. Now as you see if I take out the formatting: We found our laughter therein,
For now, in age, a sad tale is told.
The way we used to,
The way we did,
Once before…..
“I hate and I love”, you said.
It looses a lot of it's beauty. I guess I'm trying to say you made a bunch of good choices. Your formatting as I already mentioned was amazing. Your wording superb, I think it shone in this line particularly: I’m not just somewhere,

I’m on the other side of Mars.

Here, darkness is my make.
Beautiful. beautiful words that just flow together like a good poem should. it seemed from the heart and straight forward. I didn't spot anything really that I can correct so I'm gonna tie it off here and just say WOW great job amazing work and KEEP WRITING!!!!

This is really good, the use of language combined with the structure of the poem is superb. It forces you to read it multiple times to fully soak in everything it has to offer. It looks very much like every nuance in this piece has been thought out and placed well, the use of the Italic centre line ["I hate and I love", you said] throws you off balance in a good way, it makes you focus harder on the feelings of the character, or not the character but yourself. The title and the line "I'm on the other side of Mars" is really cool and a refreshing touch to a very worked over genre.

I enjoyed reading it very much and would like to know how you managed to format the structure so well, I have been writing for a while on here and still haven't managed to get my poems looking the way I want them

Thanks,

LMJ

Hey! This was really beautiful. I just want to commend you for this.

The imagery is so effect, the first two lines are an example of that. You don't just say 'the cold bites', you say 'like Jaws' and we definitely know that works so well because Jaw is all about a shark that... Well, bites. Also, using Jaws made me think that the cold biting is ten times as worse, meaning you used hyperbole, which was so effective. It shows the intensity of the situation.
I also enjoyed reading the sudden contrast that occurs on the third line, making me suddenly warm inside. It shows how much this person (the speaker in the poem) cares for the other person being mentioned, its a lovely way showing and not telling. It was elegantly done.

“I hate and I love”, you said.

I really like the language used here, and the formatting gives it a unique read. I liked the last two lines the best. It really drives home the feelings and imagery presented within. Keep it up!