She got down on the first day, the wind ruffling her mini dress as she held her guitar safely by her side. The song “Fearless” streaming through her ear plugs. It took a long time to decide to play it on repeat. There was a Sound of Music’s, “I got confidence” too, but fearless did trump when she almost slept on Sounds of Music’s. She was certainly feeling anything but fearless, the song was a façade, a boost in her moral down slide, so far, she was aiming for the boost, something that would give her enough confidence to pull off this hair ruffle and have the wind ruffle her hair along with dress.
She’d been let out wild a lot, she spent the last year in Juvie, her dad finally gave up on her and her escapades, and everyone did. Her boyfriend, Jeremiah, he was still at Juvie, not ready to choose a different lifestyle for himself, this was her chance to change her life and she wasn’t giving up on it.
And I don’t know how, it gets better this way
You take my hand and drag me head first
And I don’t know why but with you I’d dance
In a storm with my best dress
If only she felt that way, even for one day. Through everything, she always remembered the fear, gripping at her through a large hole, when she was out picking a store lock along with Jeremiah, when the sirens came blaring, when Jeremiah ran off, stringing her alongside him. She could feel the fear, hiding out in an abandoned building smoking some pot with him and his buddies, the occasional honking and buzzing of cars causing her heart to speed faster.
The fear, gripping at her and now in one swoop, she was creating a gap, doing what fear could find no place in, yet she still felt as scared as ever, the fear……