Rivers,
rushing down rocks
sending a cool breeze to my face.
Sometimes frozen, sometimes hot,
sometimes flooding, sometimes not
rivers are my favorite out of the lot.
.
What is the lot, you ask?
Streams, creeks, seas, and oceans.
Yes, rivers are definitely my favorite.
They are beautiful, too,
with sparkling blue water,
and maybe just a little bird poo.
.
I love rivers,
'cause they're just for me,
they have that little spark of happiness,
that no other body of water has.
I love rivers,
and they just have that pizzazz.
.
A/N: Okay, review it to pieces. Or comment. Whatever. Be harsh (but kind). Okay. Bye.
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139,558 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Nice to read a poem on here that isn't dark, or foreboding, or that can be interpreted multiple ways. Not that I have a problem with poems like that, it's just nice to see that they're not all so glum. I loved how your poem was so straightforward and down to earth. It just got to the point. The rhyme scheme and overall flow made it very enjoyable to read. I do agree with Sunset101 in that the line "and maybe just a little bird poo" had too many syllables. It just doesn't really fit in with the beat of the rest of the poem. Overall, nice poem. Hats off to you, I loved reading it. Keep writing poetry!
Hey Willow, wassup? Em101cats is here to review!
WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS HYPERACTIVE SUGAR SPAZZES FROM EM101CATS. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE HIGH ON SUGAR, DON'T READ THIS REVIEW. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Hi Willow!
Okay, I love love love your poems! And this one is great!!!!! Yay riverssssss
Poems about bodies of water just make me smile. Is it just me, or is water really friendly? Heh. I dunno. Anyways, the describing words of the river. Fantastic!
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHA!!!!! Of all the water poems, yours is the FUNNIEST! I AM WARNING YOU, DO NOT EDIT OUT THIS LINE! AHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAH
Okay. Maybe I'm overdoing it with the laughing. Let's get serious. (Serious is a funny-sounding word.)
Do you change the fonts on purpose by the way? I noticed they jump around a lot. But that's okay. No matter, fonts don't change the written words, do they? Nope!
Rhyming! Yaaaaaaaaaaay hip hip hooray for rhyming! Okay. This is probably my favorite stanza because of the rhyming words you used. There are some places commas are needed and periods could be placed. Like in between "rushing down rocks" and "sending a cool breeze to my face." Also, a period could be placed in between "sometimes not" and "rivers are my favorite out of the lot." Other than that I have no problems with the poem.
Whew. Long review! Wow! Well, gotta dash. I'm going somewhere.
Keep up the great writing!
~Em101cats~
LOL.
Okay. Thanks for reviewing. The font-changing was not on purpose.
Cya!
Please don't use an abundance of letters in reviewing, as that is considered review spam. A simple "Haha!" shows your excitement just fine.
This is great! I love to read and write poems, and this one is great. The only thing I saw was the font....... It kept changing. I'm not sure if it was purposeful or anything.
Anyways... Back to the reviewing. I have nothing to say. It's great, as I said before. After this review I'm looking forward to reading Blind. I'm going to like this, too.
When it said
It felt to me that there were too many syllables in "and maybe just a little bird poo".
Overall, this poem made me smile. I hope you keep writing good poems like this one!
~ Sunset101
P.S.
This is my first time doing quotes, so if it doesn't work, I am sorry.
Thanks!!
Hello!
Maybe the "yes" here should be a "but" because you're talking about which, out of the aforementioned bodies of water you like most.First, I want to say this is a funny poem.
Though, the balance between humor and seriousness is a little distracting and so is the rhyming. To rhyme or not to rhyme, I'd say, is the question? Are you going to do it, or not? There's a specific pattern that I think poems are supposed to follow.. Something about ABAB, or ABCABC? then there's the meter that goes along with poems.
This line made me laugh.
Eh, this last line... I think you end the poem differently. And perhaps the "and" should be a "because" to show that you are actually ending the poem. Perhaps italicizing the word "pizzazz" will get back into the awe of rivers, but also joking about it at the same time.
It's a nice poem
Thank you
You're welcome!