They say if you're different,
you're unique,
and I guess that's true
but even so,
shyness can be hard.
*
The humiliation is overwhelming,
I hate it so.
All my life I feel as if
I'm being embarrassed
or forced by friends
to make me do something
I don't want to do.
*
I am an introvert,
and sometimes I wonder
if my personality will ever
change
from shy to energetic.
It's nearly impossible to
state my feelings
or talk about things I've done.
With a crazy younger brother,
it's hard to be shy,
and I sometimes wonder,
"Why did he get the good genes?"
*
In class,
it's hard to participate,
or even talk in front
of everyone.
I am shy,
and you will never know how
I feel
unless you have these genes,
too
and you are shy.
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
How is it going, my people?
Alrighty, to start off, stanzas may help for other readers. This is more of a personal thing, you don't have to do that if you don't want to, but a huge chunk of text like that is kind of a turn-off for some readers. Like I said, that's a personal thing, so don't change it if you just prefer this lol
Next this line here "from being shy to energetic" the "being" isn't necessary. Honestly, "I wonder if my personality will ever change from shy to energetic" sounds better to me. Just a little nitpick from your pal Vergil lol
Then there is a grammatical error "unless you got these genes" should be "unless you have these genes". I'm curious, are you from the southern-ish United States? I notice a lot of people have that problem (I personally live in SC lol)
Lastly, I feel as though using lines that consist of only one or two words makes your poem a little choppy. Sometimes lines being a little long are better than lines that are a little short, though I understand if you prefer it this way.
Other than that, it's very well written and I can feel the emotions radiating off this poem. This is a great work and I look forward to see more from you. Keep up the good work!
Thanks! I'll go fix those.
And no %u2014 I live in CA.
Nice poem! Filled with emotion, and definitely relatable. I do think that breaking it up into stanzas would make it more legible, and I also would've enjoyed a solid rhythm, or simple rhyme scheme.
I thought it was interesting how you referred to shyness as a genetic attribute, rather than a personal characteristic. I kind of disagree with that, but it was thought provoking to read.
I love your one word lines, especially at the end. It can be so fun to read a poem broken up that way ^.^
That said, great work, and keep writing!
~Hadj
Thanks ! Yeah, I referred to genes, because my mom said she was super shy when she was young, and my father was "crazy".
Thanks for the feedback!