My teddy bear is the thing I keep
when I try my hardest to go to sleep.
It is cute and adorable,
and will always be memorable.
*
My teddy bear is the thing I love most,
the dear animal I keep close.
It has big black eyes,
and two pink bow-ties.
*
My teddy bear was used when I was young,
it was cuddled close to me,
but now I am older,
and I don't need it anymore.
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Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hey, I think I already reviewed so this is just a comment. Just wanted to say, congratulations for getting this poem into the Featured Works list!
Thanks ^_^
It's interesting and there are no spelling errors that I'm aware of. I like it.
I understand where your at with this whole teddy bear obsession. I was the same way, and I would never let it go. Teddy bear's are the best thing that I have. They hide my knives and notes and crap like that, and i sew them up every night. I love the teddy bear my grandmother gave me. I may almost be fifteen, but I will never let it go!
The poem rhymes perfectly, and you made no spelling errors, or at least not that I know of. The title really explains what the poem's about, and the topic is interesting.
I did think that the last part could have rhymed though. Since most of the poem is rhyming so well, I don't think you need to bother. The length is good, too. I just think this whole poem is perfect. And I can't stop complimenting on it! Keep making more poems, cause you're really good at it!
Next time you COULD write it a bit longer. Still, it was really good.
I found it kind of sad to me when the last line said " and I don't need it anymore". But then at the same time, I felt a little happy. This poem is really good, because it made me feel emotional and the spelling was perfect, as I said before.
All in all, the poem was beautiful!
~ Sunset101
Thank you! The not rhyming was intentional.
I'm also going to like it!
Yay!
Very nice, simple poem
Hope you keep it that way 
I found it kind of sad how the poem was rambling on about how cute and cuddly it was and how you were so close with it and suddenly bam the last line is like "and I don't need it anymore."
I iked how the last stanza didn't rhyme because it kind of actually left me this despondent feeling like something was missing. If that was intentional, you're a genius
Love your poem, write more!!
It was intentional
yay! this is good (and P.S. DONT TELL ANYONE THAT I STILL SLEEP WITH A STUFFED DUCKY EVEN THOUGH IM ALMOST 13!) moving on! XD
Spelling: as always, perfect!
Grammar: idk why but its always perfect. :3
Rhyming: that last stanza really bothers me o_O maybe cuz it doesn't rhyme as well? but idk that's like my only nitpick.
Rating: why do I keep saying this -.-... 5 stars and 10 out of 10
WELL DONE AGAIN!!!
~puppys3117~
"My teddy bear was used when I was young,
it was cuddled close to me,
but now I am older,
and I don't need it anymore."
...or the rhyme scheme. What happened in that last stanza?
Other than that: I like the concrete subject and the personal details (pink bow-ties). The subject is fine, but what do you want to convey through it? You seem to say everything in that last stanza. How do the big black eyes or its memorableness help pass along this message?
Good start, but I think you can dig deeper for a more interesting message.
Hello again!
Let's break this down, stanza by stanza, shall we?
Your first stanza is great. Smooth, simple rhymes, and a good hook to draw the reader in. It introduces the focus of the poem, which is the teddy bear, and right away you tell us how much the narrator loves her teddy bear, (I automatically assume the narrator is feminine.)
Moving onto the second stanza:
Not too skippy on the repetition of "thing" in these two lines. Find other ways to describe the stuffed animal.
Now the third stanza is where things get weird. It was ended nicely, with the stated fact that hey! the narrator grew up and she doesn't need the teddy bear anymore. But what happened to the rhyme scheme? It was going so nicely; it was smooth and wasn't forced and actually worked for this poem, so why is it gone? I don't like the absence. It's like an abrupt and rude awakening.
Flow gets choppy here. Consider making this a smoother transition from the first line to the next.
But really, other than that, this is good! I do think you could have done more to show us how the teddy bear comforted the narrator and how much she loved it by showing us examples and emotions and such. But other than that, this was really good. Overall, well written, with a steady pace, smooth flow, and cute rhyme scheme with an even cuter storyline. I enjoyed this very much. ^^
Hope that helps~
Thanks!! <3
No!! D: This is the most depressing poem I've ever read! I was in love with it until I saw that last stanza... ;_;
:3
*whispers* I still haven't let go of my teddy bear. I love him too much :')
innocence lost
Hey, runawaylove here to review you poem!
First of all this poem is A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E! It reminds me of my teddy bear that I used to keep with me all the time. This poem made me so nostalgic and the whole rhyming scheme and everything makes it really beautiful. The description used is the second stanza is great as it makes it easier to visualize the whole thing. The simple words make it really very cute.
"My teddy bear is the thing I keep
when I try my hardest to go to sleep."
The "to go" in the second line interrupts the flow. It is grammatically correct but it doesn't sound right.
"My teddy bear is the thing I keep
when I try my hardest to sleep."
If you change it into this the flow is intact and it sounds better. The last two lines in the third stanza seem a little blunt. Throughout the poem you give the impression that you miss and adore your teddy bear and in the two last lines you imply that you don't "need" it anymore. Maybe you should work on it a little.
Except that the whole poem is just mesmerizing. It is sweet and simple and it conveys all the emotions that a child has towards her/(maybe him) teddy bear. I loved it! You have a lot of potential as a writer. Just keep writing and let nothing discourage you, EVER! <3