Finished, yet hallow
eyestrain, down with migraine
Travels to Mexico for a hug,
an embrace. Far from the time we need
away.
Artist, thy sullen cheek bears no kiss
from your Muse. Oh booze,
wander with me
away.
To Mexico for a day
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Canary word: Present
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140,110 Literary Works • 673,017 Reviews
Hey there! So I don't know much about poetry but here I am!
I want to start by saying that this piece doesn't flow very well. I find the formatting strange and the overall idea of it was a bit odd. I don't want to sound negative because I think that every author has their different styles. Also, as kostia said, it was very short so therefore I couldn't get a real idea what you were trying to say.
As I said before, I literally know NOTHING about poetry so if you feel what I said isn't accurate, ignore it.
Don't stop writing!
Your friend,
Honora
Hello there WaltzingDreams
I am Kostia and I will give you a brief review for your poem.
I will start by saying that this poem confused me a little bit. I can see where you were going with this but I am not quie sure you are there yet. I felt a bit contradicted while reading this. I has some good parts and some sarcasm but in my opinion it is too small to outline its good qualities.
However this might be just me. My taste in poetry lies in big poems. I mean T.S Elliot big. With that being said I rarely find myself interested in small poems with no stanzas (If I do it must be exceptionally well written)
Other than that it wasn't a bad read and I see some potential in there. I enjoyed the first verse, I think it really engages the readers interest. Try to add some thing to it if you decide to edit it, make it bigger or if not use deeper wording. (I would prefer it bigger rather than complicated)
So that's all I have to say!
Keep up the good work!
Kostia