Earth tremors.
She strains to bear the weight of her children's sorrows,
but she grits her teeth and carries them.
Verily with every hardship comes ease.
-
The sun will shine again.
Already, its rays peek through the veil
of broken hearts and madness.
Verily, with every hardship comes ease.
-
And after the fire consumes everything,
a white rose will stay unscathed.
Verily, with every hardship comes ease.
-
Hope was small in Pandora's box,
but its power knows no bounds.
-
Verily, with every hardship comes ease.
For indeed with hardship will be ease.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Pretty good.
Part of me feels like this poem is just a fragment of some greater story.
But that may be the point, still the message you'er trying to send works regardless.
"She strains to bear the weight of her children's sorrows"
A reference to motherhood that seems fitting since this whole poem carries a reassuring feeling.
"Hope was small in Pandora's box,"
This line seems to hint at a larger story of some sort.
Bottom line I liked it.
Hey there Valkyria! Here for a extremely short review!
I love the beginning! For the second line, though not sure, I think that adding 'and their' before 'sorrows' can make it a bit more better. If you don't want to add, no problem.
Um... What do u really mean by the veil? A bit unsure. Does veil literally refers to a veil or it refers to some element of nature.
I don't have any more doubts. You have written a great poem describing the line 'Verily with every hardship comes ease' . I love the repetition of that line and how you conclude every stanza with the same message. As for the title, it suits perfectly.
Overall, great work. Keep writing. It was seriously a very short review...
~ Forever.
And the repetition isn't used so well throughout. Try setting up for it logically, like it was a story.
Hi @Valkyria I'm here to do a real quick review on your poem. So let's get right into it shell we.
I really like this, it gave me such feelings, like there's hope in this life, even if there are really bad things going on, you can still make it out and be happy. I also had some wonderful imagery come in to my head while I was reading it, it was like this canvas that was completely white. Then someone came along and painted it in magnificent colors to form such a magical image.
Okay the line Verily, with every hardship comes ease. is in bold because I feel like you say this line to many times, and it start to get to repetitive, and I find that the line loses it's powerful meaning that it had at the start of the poem. Maybe try to just keep all the other lines and take this one out and put in leas of it. Then maybe it will still be more impactful at the end of the poem like it was in the beginning.
So that is all I can say, if I was being to harsh I'm so sorry, please forgive me for it, because that was not my intentions. <33 I promise I did like reading this poem and I hope to read more of your writings in the future.
I hope you have a great day/night witch ever side of the world your on.
@Dossereana Flying Over The Green Room And Spreading Shards Of Encouragement
"For indeed with hardship will be ease " - This sentence for me was like a wall ,beautifully backed by the details !
"For indeed with hardship will be ease " - This sentence for me was like a wall ,beautifully backed by the details !
Hey, Rosewood here! 🌹
I've got time for a quick review, so I'll do my best to cut to the chase and be as helpful as possible!
Firstly, I'm not the best when it comes to interpretations, but I'd say that this gives me "When all is said and done, we aren't alone in our struggles" vibes. I'd like to think that this says even though we have many a flawed nature, there is someone to carry our burdens and even the common "Time itself will heal all wounds".
...and...
While these two stanzas were well-written, I'd only like to point out a small, (nit-picky), concern. In the second, you added a comma after "Verily", but in the first you did not. (Again, sorry for the nit-pickiness!)
Other than that, this was fabulous. I really enjoyed the message I got from it, and while I'm not the best person to say this, I though the rhythm well administered. One of my favorite lines was the one mentioning Pandora's box. I thought that well-expressed your tale of hope. In conclusion, this was an interesting read! I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful, but I guess that serves to say you're a very talented writer!
Keep writing!
Thank you, Rosewood! Your review was very helpful, and I loved reading how you interpreted the poem.
Don't be sorry at all! I didn't even notice that there wasn't a comma after the first "Verily," so I'm glad you caught that!
Thanks for the kind words!