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E - Everyone


by TylynRae

I had a manic episode once.

I felt helium high

felt this life could be good high, felt like I don't want to die right now high.

And then mania stopped and it was Tuesday,

and I forced myself to forget what I was missing. 

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1256 Reviews

Points: 36799
Reviews: 1256

Wed Mar 27, 2019 4:37 pm
niteowl wrote a review...

Hi there Tylyn! Niteowl here to review.

Okay, so I don't know how much this is based on real life or not, but I have bipolar disorder so I am too familiar with the "joys" of mania (as in it feels great in the moment but doesn't end well).

The striking thing to me about this poem is that it straddles this line between personal and clinical. It's personal in the sense that it's in first person, and lines like "I don't want to die right now high" and "I forced myself to forget what I was missing" hint at details from the speaker's life story that aren't revealed in this short piece. While it's not "clinical" in the sense of medical vocabulary, it does have some of that matter-of-fact description you might give to a doctor.

And then mania stopped and it was Tuesday,

I love the abrupt feeling of this line. In my experience, mania that doesn't get you sent to the hospital tends to end in a crash, where your mood just tanks. I can relate so well to that feeling where you're trying to pick up the pieces of the mania but you just can't but you have to trudge forward somehow.

The final line is kind of vague. I feel like there's some room for exploring the feelings of the speaker after the mania and how it contrasts to the high.

Overall, I like the way this poem expresses those feelings, but there is some room for expansion. Keep writing! :D

Random avatar
TylynRae says...

Hey, thanks for the review! I%u2019m putting a collection of poems together that focus on mental illness and the struggles that I%u2019ve dealt with. I don%u2019t feel like there%u2019s enough focus on the topic and hope to shed light in the ways that I can. Thanks again for reading :)

niteowl says...

Hm...I'd have to both agree and disagree with you there. I think there's a lot of poems that focus on certain emotions, and definitely a lot that go to the cliche (think straight jackets and padded rooms and evil doctors), but given how mental illness can manifest differently in different people (your crazy is not like my crazy which is not like my friend's crazy), there's always room for new perspectives on the topic. It's one I've dealt with a lot in my poetry (you will not win tonight is probably my favorite attempt, though maybe it's too personal to really work as a poem for a broad audience. There's also of mania and ersatz destiny, which is about being a helpless witness as my friend went through the same thing).

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562 Reviews

Points: 14535
Reviews: 562

Wed Mar 27, 2019 9:10 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a short review for your poem. And to get it out the Green room for you.

Okay let's start.

So I saw the name to your poem, and I thought it sounded rather interesting so I popped in the have a look at it. And that's a good thing, you want to have a name to your work that brings people in. So I'm quit happy with that.
I will say this was not what I was expecting. But i still liked reading your poem and I wasn't to happy it was short, but I don't think you needed to add anything else into it. Other wise it would have felt drawn out, so i'm happy you stopped it at the place it is at.
I can also feel the slight emotion you have put into this poem, which made it more fun to read.
I do hope I will get to see more of your poems out on YWS soon. Again I loved reading your poem, and I enjoyed reviewing it to, never stop writing and have a great day/night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix. :D
Reviewing this a fiery passion.

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TylynRae says...

Thanks for the review! I have the habit of waking up in the middle of the night with random words or phrases in my head. So I've been trying to write them down more frequently. Doesn't always turn into things I like, but this happened to be one of them =]

Oh I have to say that's a cool idea, I never thought of that. :)

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18 Reviews

Points: 2105
Reviews: 18

Wed Mar 27, 2019 2:40 am
metrophobia wrote a review...

This kinda walks the line between giddy-nonsense and emotive - and I think you could hype this poem up more by going more solidly in either of those directions, or just putting more drama into both.

In other words, if this poem is supposed to be read like the author was high - then commit to that view point, throw in some italics and a little contemplation on what life means, and if it's going to be emotive - really go in that direction, rather than just giving the reader snippets.

My favorite line was "And then mania stopped and it was Tuesday," - it shows the stilted thoughts of the speaker, and also indicates a contrast between their point of view and how time is really functioning.

Overall i just wanted this poem to dig-in a bit more. For instance, "I forced myself to forget what I was missing" -- what is that? What are they missing? Give us some juicy details to latch on to so that the reader can connect more with the speaker.

Keep poeting - I did like the perspective you took here - it was unique and there's a lot of avenues that this type of view could run down.

- metrophobia
don't fear the poetry, nor the poet

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TylynRae says...

Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it!

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48 Reviews

Points: 40
Reviews: 48

Tue Mar 26, 2019 10:47 pm
starryknightt says...

Hey, there.

I'm really feeling like this should be a Fall Out Boy song or something haha. It's totally random and slightly confusing, yet intriguing all the same. Well done writing!

I can't wait to read more of your art.


The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate.
— O. Henry (William Sydney Porter)