Resurgent

Hello!

I think the coolest thing about this poem is that it is a real poem. I can't really explain it, but I've written poems like this before, it's the kind of poem that you're not even fully aware that you're writing, but there's paper in front of you and a pen in your hand and you have nothing else to do, so you write down the words that are fluttering in your head. Usually when I do this, I come up with a really horrible poem, but I love this one that you wrote. Maybe it's because if *I* wrote this, I would hate it because I knew where all of these little fragmented ideas came from, but when another person writes it, I don't know, and it's all still mysterious.

Okay, well now that I got that out of my system...

I like how you alluded to another poem, but didn't mention it expressly. I also like that the season in the other poem matches the season in this one.

I like how you ask and answer some deep questions, all in the same poem, and all in a very casual, train-of-thought style.

You had some nice imagery, but the best-- in my opinion-- is in the fifth stanza.
But really, it's all really astounding imagery.

I think the only thing that could really make this poem better is maybe getting a more focused tense/plot/whatever. It all reads a little bit confusing-ly. The reader isn't quite sure where the line is drawn between metaphor and reality, between what is being taught and what is just your thoughts, between the world and the alluded poem. And maybe this is a good thing. This makes it feel like the world is a place that naturally houses deep questions, and naturally can be metaphorical.

I have a little bit of a problem with these lines:

who weaves idea with meaning

Hello TinyDancer! This is Magenta here to review your poem that you have submitted, Resurgent! I understand that there are several different writing styles in the world of poetry and that some of the errors are deliberate. But here is what I noticed. These are just some of my comments and suggestions that I make for you as you continue on in your writing career.

"Today we study the Thrush
and the seamlessness between gone and yet to come.
Leaves whisper under the authority of the professor
who weaves idea with meaning
and outside, plummeting spirals of ice
drip from gutters into puddles
half-frozen."

I would add a period to the end of the word "meaning" where you would then have to capitalize "and" in the next line. I just think that it would look better, don't you think so? I'm also not sure if thrush needs to be capitalized. I love the description here too!

"And I tell them all
The thrush saw life beyond the dying past
and that is why he waited.
That is why he sang."

I don't think you should italicize the last three lines because italics are usually to point something out or to add emphasis to something. By making it all italicized, it does not create the emphasis you need or want. It just make the sentence all the same. Instead, just bold or italicize one word or the important part of the sentences.

"The professor is now asking if the poet saw
the world’s darkness or his own
when the bird sang
and everyone has the answer but me and Hardy.
Still I search for solidity in the emptiness
where ice used to be
but all I find is the sun"

Place a comma between the words "but" and "be" so that it is punctuated correctly. Also, is the word "hardy" capitalized forms reason? I think so, but I ask anyway.

Other than that, great job!

~ Magenta

I love it! Here are a few mistakes though:

Today we study the Thrush
and the seamlessness between gone and yet to come.
Leaves whisper under the authority of the professor
who weaves idea with meaning.
And outside, plummeting spirals of ice
drip from gutters into puddles
half-frozen.

I agree, there is a seamlessness between gone and yet to come.

I beg the noonday sun,
"Make me new."

The professor is now asking if the poet saw
the world’s darkness or his own
when the bird sang,
and everyone has the answer but me and Hardy.
Still I search for solidity in the emptiness
where ice used to be,
but all I find is the sun

The world's darkness or his own. Amazing! This lyrical piece blows my mind.

And she reminds me,
"Newness is born of the past."

This line has so much meaning. Newness is born of the past... so true!

A lesson in patience was not the priority,
but as Hardy’s bird escapes his paper cage,
he flies through the classroom window,
alighting on the lips of the sun
to echo her message in music.

This is my favorite paragraph.

And I tell them all,
"The thrush saw life beyond the dying past,
and that is why he waited.
That is why he sang."

i love it it shows what we really do when we sit by the window in school.