Dream

Hey!

Great poem first of all! The first thing that caught my eye was the fact that this poem has no capital letters. Is that on purpose? In my opinion it would be better if it starts with a capital letter. I like how you started the poem with a simile which is very effective.

I love your metaphorical sense and the alliteration in the second stanza. These are used correctly showing that you really know how to write poetry and believe me, you really do. The imagery you created is amazing especially in the part where you described the sea and the colour that forms at sunset. I love it!

KEEP IT UP!! I can see your talent!

That was good! Great actually I misread the first verse you can always switch the wordsvoutborvreplace I love how you used embryonic! Definetly adding it to my favorite words list. ( I have this list of my favorite words that I just love saying and adore their meanings like panacea: cure for all illnesses and problems.)

Hey! I like this, it's quite good ( the ending is the best! ) but there's some things that I would like to mention.

First of all, where's the comas, capitals and periods? I understand that it's poetry, and poetry can be different. But it's grammer! Your readers need it to understand how you want it to sound.

On line eight you say, "between heart and ribcage" I have to say it, sorry, but ribcage doesn't really flow. I'm not trying to be mean, these are all just my thoughts. Maybe if you used bone?

Anyway that's all I have to say. So keep writing!!!