Published February 24, 2019
I stare at the wall in an uneasy mixture of horror and disbelief. How is this possible? I consider, and then quickly set aside the possibility of taking a wrong turn, as I glance around the halls. This is exactly where I entered. I raise up my hand to the desecrated wall, half expecting it to vanish like the illusion it seems to be upon my touch, but it remains just as solid as the stone surrounding that holds it in place.
My escape is gone.
I step back, keeping myself as calm as possible, glancing down the adjacent hallways, peering as far down each as my light will allow. One way is a clear dead end, rubble, debris and whatnot clogging the tunnel a few meters in. The other hall leads straight, almost too straight, into the path of the unknown, past the point of which my light allows. I gather my options. The path behind me, I consider taking. However, something lurks there, an obvious presence, though far from anything I can identify. I take another look forward, wishing in my heart that this wall could return to the state it was in at my entry. Even the darkness of the open caverns were preferable to where I am now.
I sigh. Wishing on it's own is a pointless task, I remind myself. This, I know, is true. I glance at the wall one last time, admiring its cracked, yet unnaturally smoothed surface, before gathering my courage, and turning to face what I must do. I step slowly and cautiously, yet confidently into the darkness of the hall, into the impending doom of the unexplored, and into the darkness of the unknown.
The path, stretching forward, continues on. The etched patterns of what may have once been paint, lie peeled, scratched, or missing altogether from the two walls, my feet softly crunching onto the litter they have accumulated onto the floor, as if I tread on the rusted and crumpled leaves that would litter the floors of a dense wood. My senses are heightened, ready to detect and react with the slightest disturbance. My eyes are kept forward, into the spaces just out of reach of the warmth of the light produced by Keiro. I picture what lies in the darkness, a cold shadow ready to snuff out my life in a moments notice, the amusement and curiosity I give being the only thing keeping it from doing so.
The tunnel stretches on for a good fifty meters, quite a distance for a hall to contain. The uneasiness grows, the silence piercing my ears. My steps grow more cautious. The debris concentrated at the sides of the walls grow less concentrated, and the walls themselves grow surprisingly less and less deteriorated. I have difficulty making up my mind of whether that is a good thing or not. As I press forward, the temperature drops. My exhales start becoming visible, the light grey steam pushing through the air from my lungs, before dissipating into the surrounding air. I pull my arms closer to keep warmth, I realize that all I have to wear are tattered and ripped leggings, a dense fabric, but worn down. My torso is covered by an equally worn down shirt, covered by a grey jacket. The walls of the hall now carry what could be the original color, almost nothing now covers the floor, and the walkway is now clear and untouched. It seems so clean that the bottoms of my shoes might leave prints.
The upper section of the walls now hold what may have made up a good amount of the litter. Large posters, holding symbols, pictures, and text, are hung in a disturbingly exact pattern, each one in the exact placement of which the last was hung, and each about two meters from each other, hung far out of reach, high above my head. The light dimly outlines the various models, each of something different, but relatable. One of a brain, different points lit up and highlighted, here a man, different sections of the body circled, the bones and nerves filling in the space of the figure. The text I cannot read clearly, a denser light would be needed, but based off the diagrams, it would seem to be information regarding human structures and functions. On it's own, it doesn't seem concerning, but with this feel, it seems displaced. I continue, walking slower to observe the informative framed posters. One of the human skull, with different points I recognize as lighter pieces of the shell, highlights on the back and top of the skull. The next features tools, syringes and shiny silver instruments, some pointed, some rounded, all fit separately into an informative diagram.
I walk forward, observing the next, and the next diagrams. Some spots of which the framed informative diagrams would be carry different news strips, as well as glassed portions of paper that could be awards, or perhaps certificates. It gets more and more bizarre as I press on. Machine layouts lay framed in the same sections, as well as blue prints, and notes for specific pieces of engineering. I go on, taking in all provided information until I reach a section that makes my breathing irregular. In front of me lies a framed photograph. In the photograph is a man, clothed in a surgeon-type uniform, with a wide expression of intrigued pleasure across his face. In his hand, he carries an instrument, the handle of which, sparkles in the lamplight that shines above him. The tool however, is only seen at the handle. The rest of it, is embedded in the flesh of a conscious man, his face covered, but flesh tightened and wringing in agony.
I tear my eyes away from the scene, though the image is already embedded itself within my thought. The room itself, as I had been observing the framed pieces, is now bright with color, the walls are clear, and left without a single scratch. In front of me, lie a set of double doors, stretching above my head and to the ceiling from the base of the ground. The handles stare at me, Just by looking I can feel their steely coldness. I turn around. What lies in front of me is a surprise that I am now used to. The exit is blocked off by a wall. On the surrounding walls, all the posters and diagrams are now replaced with blank spaces of the smooth walls. I face the doors once more.
Through these doors lie the answer to this chaos and confusion, and yet with the opening of these doors will instill a chaos of it's own.
End of chapter
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Hey, I didn't see you posted a new chapter!! I'm so happy. Let's get right in
Slowly, cautiously, and confidently: decent words to describe something, but I think subpar with what you've been producing thus far. What exactly about MC's character is so confident, especially if he is going slow and is very cautious? Is he cautious in that he looks around, but confident at the same time because he is not looking over his shoulder every five seconds but instead striding toward the door he has chosen to enter? I just think that this could be fleshed out and be some good development of MC. you also use the word "darkness" twice in the same sentence which feels redundant.
This is a looong sentence. I like the imagery a lot, and the character that you've given to this scene and the emotions and feeling you want us to have, but I think something as simple as putting a period between "walls" and "my", and then change "crunching" to "crunch." It would give a nice quick break that would still flow seamlessly but not be such a run-on.
I know this isn't a super special sentence, but I love the characterization you've given Keiro in so few words. It's almost like a companion, which I really like about this story so far.
You use the word "now" three times in this sentence, and apart from the first one pertaining to the color of the hall, I think the other two are just unnecessary and the sentence is fine as is without it.
So I finished the chapter. I know that some of that stuff may have been a bit picky to you, but since it's a shorter chapter I felt that I could try to be more specific in what I was seeing and thinking as I read. Hopefully, they help, and you don't get the impression that I don't like the story. On the contrary, I find it very intriguing. As we saw the photos on the wall I was thinking either hospital/lab, or medical school, but it's seeming to maybe even be something like a morgue? I'm guessing laboratory though.
The photograph was very intriguing. When you said that there was a blade embedded in the guy who was stabbed, I was curious as to if it might possibly be Keiro. Also, since this is a mysterious and intriguing story so far, I'm thinking that maybe the MC is the doctor, and perhaps that's why we are keeping the MC's name secret.
Speaking of which, I want to go back to the kid that we learned of with his dad a few chapter's ago, BUT I also want to see what's through that door. If you are going to be switching between the two, I think that now is NOT the time to cut back to the flashback because it will really kill pacing. Just a thought from me thinking ahead xD
OVerall this was good. I really love how well you've been able to set the mood. It's errie, it's mysterious, it's intriguing and uncomfortable in al lthe right ways, and you're descriptions have doen a great job of keeping in the mood with the symbolism and metaphors. Let me know when the next chapter comes out!
~Messy
Salutations. As I was wandering around the Green Room thy spied upon thou's title and it took to my interest (sorry for the olden day talk...). My name is Jade and I'll be reviewing this. Let's get started!

This is a bit too short, I know it's hard to write lengthy content worth reading but it's better than writing a short piece of work that no one likes. FYI: I am not saying this is bad! It's very good! I meant the short piece as a metaphor. It wasn't directed at you!!!!4
I liked the first person narrative. You don't see many stories from that point of view. I liked it.
The plot was awesome!
I did see a few mistakes though, and the story didn't flow as well as you probably hoped it would.
Other that that this is great! Keep at the writing because you have a new fan!
-JadeLotus