A quiet walk
Through the floating snow
A reminder to me
Of where I am to go
~
I pace back and forth
I walk to and fro
Though many ideas
I still dont know
~
But time will tell
And come what may
Instead of worrying
Ill live, day by day
~
For who can say
Where these winds will blow
Only tomorrow knows
Where tomorrow will go
~
I sit on a bench
Next to a tree
The branches whisper
Cautiously
~
The leaves, they fall
To make room for others to grow
In the wind they are carried
Along with the snow
~
The trunk shines brightly
Like speckles of color on a blank paper
The leaves are still hanging
Like people afraid to let go
~
Like scared children
Beleiving they are in control
But they fall so gracefully
When they finally kiss the branch goodbye
~
Every leaf
Though thousands surround
Every single leaf
A new pattern, a new sound
~
Not one like the other
Each one unique
Yet they blend altogether
In a delicate technique
~
They flow in waves with the wind
And glow together in the sun
They shade the forest floor
Together, as one.
~
I close my eyes
And open my heart
To what my mind
Has set apart
~
I sit on this bench
And my body is still
My life is at peace
My heart tranquil
~
The fading light that seeps through the clouds
The heart of the storm, that falls in its shrouds
I feel the cold, but it carries no pain
I sit wrapped in this blanket of peaceful silence
~
This life with its business
The illusion of man
The need for more
I will rip away from, if I can
~
Im happy where I am
Im happy where Ill be
So come what may
Here, I sleep
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Wow, I love your writing style it has a really good flow and you can tell that you aren't trying to make every line rhyme which I think makes it even better. It gives off a lot of different emotions and I really liked it. There were a few spelling mistakes and a little repetitiveness and one stanza when writing about the leaves but that was about it. I like the art work too its a good picture visual to describe the poems and the footprints next to the tree makes it look cool. I think overall I got a calm peaceful, observing vibe, but the second to last stanza changed the vibe up a little and it sounded like more of a yearning vibe but it all came together great and I am hoping to see more like this.
Hey there, Che here for a quick review
I wish I could poetry as beautiful as this!
First of all, I will just say that this has to be one of my favourite poem's that I've read on here. It flows beautiful, has absolutely amazing and stunning imagery, and perfect and consistent rhyme scheme and I can tell a lot of passion went into it.
There isn't really much to criticise, but there was just one little bit that stood out to me, but this may just be a little pedantic:
"I sit on a bench
Next to a tree
The branches whisper
Cautiously"
I thought the one word line that finishes this stanza broke the flow a little bit, for me at least. However, regardless of whether you choose to change this or not, it still works and doesn't take any overall effect from the poem.
Basically, I have nothing to critique you on, which is unusual for me
Keep writing!
Regards, Che
Thanks for the review, glad you liked it