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Kitly and Dusky: Glad you enjoyed it .

I really liked this. I really don't have anything that I specifically wanted to comment on, but I've read this twice now, and really enjoyed it. So I thought that I should at least drop by and say so.

I liked this story. I have a alien-phobia, but I still kept reading. It is well thought out.

Tis all arei's fault - she confused me with her heathen language .

Wait a minute...here's Jack, your friendly-neighbourhood English speaker

Sureal is English and as such spells "sceptically" with a C.

arei: Thank's for point them out . I admit... I didn't actually spell check this piece. It must be litered with mistakes.

mike: Glad you enjoyed this, but I'm afraid I have no intentions at all of writing any sequals.

Great story! Although I think that maybe the plot is a bit shallow (only the confrontation between Kaoiren and Lithre) the delivery is great. The emotions conveyed are ones I can really relate to (teachers...). The idea behind the story was very good. You HAVE to write a sequel or three! Come on have some compassion we all want to know what happens next!!

I really liked it. I don't read much sci-fi, so when I do it's fascinating to me. Don't ask why, it just is.

The only thing I really disliked about this piece were the minor spelling errors. Just little things really.

sceptically

advance

*points to his above post *

I like your mainstream, story line, but "I did that then I did this" quite uh... annoyed me. I liked your story, it just didn't feel right.

I agree with you on both points. In fact, they're the reasons I want to rewrite this.
But I have more interessting stories to write. So I'm gonna leave this as it is (for now anyway).

It didn't hold my attention. There are two reasons for this. I could tell that you understood perfectly what was happening and why, but were holding back information to create curiosity. This is a concept I never really understood. I understand holding back certain kinds of information, like why and how a character died before the story started, or the kind of information that is held back in the Harry Potter books. But in this case,you're holding back so much that all I could think was, "Who the heck are these people, and why should I care?" I didn't properly understand what was happening or why. When keeping certain story elements secret until later, it should be key plot elememts, not basic world and character information like what the preparations at the begining are, or what the two different names mean.

The second reason is your sentence structure is too monotonous. Reading "I did this. I did that," over and over again gets tedious and boring.

At the moment I have no further plans for it .

This was pretty cool. I love the idea- it's amazing and really original. are you going to continue it or just leave it as a short piece of writing?

That comment goes right over my head, but thanks anyway .

It didn't change my life, but in the time fo me to read it I had to take a break and change socks. I LOVED IT!!!

Wow - nothing for four days... and then replies .

Okay...

emotion less: You're probably right - in fact I don't even know why I put that in there. Probably cos Word's Spell Checker insisted on it and I gave in .

BlackDaisy: The confusion is one of the main reasons why I want to re-write this piece .

Dargquon Ql'deleodna: Yup, I felt like telling a story through different eyes .

wow, this is really good, it shows great potential. this will be knew, because alot of the book i read about aleins attacking humans is from the humans point of veiw, this will be very interesting. i cant wait until you post more of it, so please do that.

Wow, this is really great. Please post more! The only thing I noticed was sometimes the dialouge was a little confusing (hard to tell who's talking.) But overall it's brilliant!

Interesting. It's a new perspective (for me, anyway).

"I kept my hands folded in front of me; in what I admit was an attempt to stop them from fidgeting. "

I don't think you need a semicolon there.
Sorry, we learned the proper use of semicolons today... at least, I think it's the proper way...

Yup. Naughty language... which is why this is a PG 13 .

... though to tell you the truth, I don't actually know what naughty language is in there... I wrote this a fair while ago, and I'm too lazy to actually read it myself .

Wow I loved this. I liked the conversation between Karen and her boss. Naughty language!