I haven't read any of the other Hourglass stories (I checked out your portfolio... you have loads of 'em...) but I read this one anyway 
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It flowed well enough, and I had no trouble picturing the scene in my mind. So yeah - twas good 
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141,436 Literary Works • 674,415 Reviews
This is so good Sam, I can't tell you how much I could FEEL everything you were talking about.
BUT MORE MUSKETS GIRL! lol sorry...
Yes, yes, a musket would be nice...
I really liked this. The way it was written mimicked the scared thoughts in Luke's brain, and the fragmentation just supported the scene you were trying to portray. For a "free-write" this is pretty damn good.
Except there are no muskets!