Death caught up to me one night,
The room grew hollow and cold.
I was frozen, petrified in fright.
He appeared like a shadow holding a scythe.
His cloak was black as emptiness itself,
And I knew he had come to take my life.
"Please!" I cried,
"I'm not ready to die!
"Spare my life!"
And I began to cry.
"Foolish one," he had said,
"You think you can command me?
"You think you can control when you end up dead?
"You plead to me, crying in pity,
"But you cannot control it!
"Do you plead because you're scared or guilty?"
The air quavered, and so did I.
Despite his foul words,
I did not want to die.
"What is your life?" his awful voice began to boom,
"Why do you die?
"Does your life belong to you?"
Then he brought down his mighty scythe,
And took me up in a swoop.
I had begged and pleaded, but still he wished me to die.
Does your life belong to you?
Or is death awaiting no matter what you do?
What's the point, what's the meaning?
Just ask Death, then you'll see..
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139,759 Literary Works • 672,712 Reviews
This poem is different than I had expected. It shows what so many people are thinking, and shows what just one person is thinking, at the same time. What many people want to believe is that when you die, you have a choice to live. We all wish to live, we all want to live just one more day. What this poem is showing to me is the truth. We can't choose if we live or die. What happens, happens. We can't change that. I really like this poem for it's honesty. Keep writing!:)
Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it.^^
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.
So, the firs thing I noticed in this poem is that well, nothing! The flow was good, no commas missing or anything of the sort. My favorite line would of have to have been "Does your life belong to you?" Honestly, this question gets me thinking. I know its silly, but its true!
Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! So, happy Valentines Day ! I really need to go now, Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Annnd I think he brought a dinosaur to life. Great. Anyways, Cheerio and fruit loops to you!
Omg Grim. XD Thanks for the feedback! Yes, I kinda intended for parts of this poem to really get people thinking, especially that one line. I'm glad you liked it! Have fun reaping souls!
Wait what about grim?
Oh sorry, I was talking about how he brought a dinosaur to life and how he loves cocoa I guess. (I'm not judging, though, cocoa is great.)
*Grim pops his head in* The dinosaur will make her debut in the second part of Grim's Tales Of Heros and Halfwits Part 1 which will then make her offically part of Fluma's persona.
Ooh interesting.
I KNOW
*Grim looks at E.E*
CALM. DOWN.
Thanx for sharing this dramatic poetical description of the final moment in every person's life. The poem is very skillful written and the dialogue is superb. The morbid fear that we all feel for that momentous moment is very effectively conveyed as is our innate reluctance to go peacefully into that good night.
Death personified, as usual, is very accurately described as an uncaring, unmerciful, mechanical entity whose responsibility to is to lug a scythe and wield it whenever it is necessary.
This corresponds perfectly with how death itself seems to operate. It mindlessly cuts down all living things in its path regardless official status, gender, or age. Sometimes the scythe strikes as an accident. Other times the scythe in the form of a severe illness. Yet other times at the hands of a criminal or during war.
But there is a very quaint and rather disturbing aspect to this Grim reaper that caught my attention. Usually silent and taciturn, this one proceeds to ask whether our lives belong to us. Then he boasts arrogantly that nothing in existence can stop his scythe from reaping. Well, as a reader this stood out very prominently and alarms started to go off. Why? Simple, because it blatantly contradicts what the Bible teaches about death.
Please notice that the Grim Reaper is described as an enemy scheduled for destruction. So as a Christian reader I can either take the Grim Reaper’s boasting seriously or else simply consider it baseless braggadocio since he definitely can’t frustrate the hand of an Almighty God.
Hiya! Thanks for the review! I did not refer to the Bible, and instead I seemed to write Death as a character that related to the deaths I have known in my life. Death to me always seemed to be a character that haunted me, whether I begged for it or shunned it away, and it always seemed to mercilessly take away those that I loved. Death can be seen in very different lights in different situations, sometimes brutally taking lives and other times putting suffering and hurting people to rest. In this poem, I tried to make it seem as if Death was daring the protagonist to fight back, asking him if he believed his life was in his hands. Though not referenced in the poem, I believe a question would be: Is life in humanities hands or in Gods hands, and if Death is a thing to be defeated it will it be God who finally defeats it? Back to the poem, this situation seemed to be that of a man who's life was taken away from him more brutally, while if the protagonist was an sweet old woman on her deathbed I believe the conversation she would have with Death would be very different. There was no reference to God that I had intended, and I didn't think about the situation that would occur when bringing Him into the picture. Death truly is an enemy, but to humans or to God Himself? My protagonist has no reference to God but to merely Death as he faced it.
Hmm, I don't know if that made any sense. XD I'm obviously not a professional and I don't know much about religious stuff, so I'm sorry if I did anything wrong. Thanks for bringing these topics to my attention! I appreciate the feedback.^^
Sorry if I came across as evangelizing or condemnatory. I am well aware that you were not intending the poem to be religiously oriented or in any way related to God or religion. But unfortunately sometimes our poems raise issues unintentionally. If indeed the Grim Reaper boasts that death is inevitable, then a Christian reader will automatically have scriptures arise which say otherwise. That is inevitable. An atheist? Well, an atheist would have no such reaction. But as a Christian, I am a bit tuned in to how certain messages might be insidiously and unintentionally conveyed. If indeed I offended, my sincerest apologies. You are a very skillful writer and the poem 's description of the encounter is excellent. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Oh, you didn't offend me at all! I'm actually thankful for the advice, I like to see how different people see different parts of my stories and what they pay attention to. I understand there is a large range of people out there, from Christians and atheists, and I see my writing as a learning experience which can broaden my horizons and teach me more about how to make my writing better, and more appealing. I'm glad you liked my poem and commented how you saw it and how you perceived the topic. In a way this helped me make sure future writing pieces are very open-minded about these kinds of things. So no, you didn't offend me, and I hope I didn't offend you in any way.^^
I´ve never really reviewed poetry before so I´m not sure how helpful this review is going to be...
But I would like to start off by saying that I liked this poem! Actually I like reading anything involving death or something really edgy, but I wouldn´t have guessed that judging from the title. I really liked your personification of Death while reading through your poem.
I think the only thing that kinda bothered me about this was the fact that everything was packed into one whole column (stanza?), and I noticed that the end of the first line and the end of the third line rhymed, so I spent some time trying to see if the poem followed the structure all the way. But maybe thatś just me being picky. >_<
Overall, I think this is a good poem! Keep it up! (´w´)b
Hiya! Thanks for the review! Don't worry, I'm always very..not picky, exactly, but I pay attention to whether all the rhyming is in order, if that makes sense. XD I'm glad you liked it!
This is great. I loved this.
Thanks.^^