Life used to be something that was worth it
It used to be bare feet on honey floors
Bubble baths, flickering fires and smores
Life used to be a happy painting
It used to be sweet songs before bed
Homemade food, flour-covered hands like snow
Rain slick on a tarp, pittering and pattering a lovely song
Life used to be a thing where nothing went wrong
It was violin lessons and handmade Halloween costumes
It was cinnamon-smelling houses and juice pouches
Life was barefoot running on prickly grass, hidden under blankets whispering
It was eating pizza on stained red couches
It was the golden scales of goldfish, a memory faint in my mind
It used to be where someone was never left behind
It was the neighbor boy showing me his legos and smiling at me in school
It was clashing lightsabers, barefoot on cement
Life was knowing you were smart and cool
This was a childhood, I remember
Rainbow rays and crooked birdbaths
Budding flowers and prickly leaves
When I barely knew the definition of "guilt" and "grieve"
Then I grew up
What was once intertwined with gold, sifting like foamy ocean waves, free as the autumn wind through your hair
Turned into rust, red and scabby, a stone statue of a heart, as stale and empty as the breath of one no longer breathing, the faintest memory of something no longer there
Sundresses and bare scabbed feet
Turned into scarred wrists, broken eyes, shattered dreams
Nights are now clenched muscles, upset stomachs, and blood
As I remember how much I disappoint the ones I truly love
The never-ending question of what it all means
It's never enough, I can never bleed enough, grief enough, hate enough
The never-ending doubt tears at me
Now it's poisoned by stinging, violet jellyfish tendrils, this beautiful, sapphire sea
Where did I go wrong?
Where did I loose myself?
In the blade, the hate, my mind
When I fell in love with the girl I'll never see again, who's notebook is long forgotten?
When my dancer lost her battle,
and my nights were plagued with sorrow?
When my great-grandmothers chair became empty
And I cried until I was hollow?
Who knows when it will end
Who knows when I'll put away the scissors and long-sleeved shirts
Who knows when I'll stare in the mirror and think:
"I look nice"
"He doesn't deserve me anyway"
"It's not my fault"
"I'm fucking beautiful"
"Maybe I love her, maybe she loves me"
But for now I won't
'Cause I'm not
The ability to love myself is something I have lost
For now, I'm a mysery
For now,
I'm completely and utterly
lost
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139,759 Literary Works • 672,714 Reviews
Greenteas and salutations my dear friend!
My name is GreenTea and I'm here to review! I hope none of the constructive criticism will be taken negatively and the positive comments will help inspire you to continue. Let's get into the review!
Wow... A truly beautiful and eye-opening poem... It really makes you think about how you've changed from when you were a little kid. I remember I used to love playing pretend games with my friends and run around in the woods with wooden swords and homemade cloaks and just enjoy life. My, how much things have changed. Reading this, I found myself missing my childhood so much and with the stress of being in high school, you really don't have time for anything else. I thought your descriptions were beautiful and the words you used... *swoons* flawless my dear. Absolutely flawless!
Time for comments!
Beautiful descriptions! Makes me cry with happiness.
Is it possible to fall in love with a sentence cause sorry guys, gals, and nonbinary pals this sweet tea has been taaaaaken!
#sadlyrelatable . It makes me sad just to think about that this is our reality now and it suuucks.
First off, you misspelled "mystery" but that's beside the point. *deep breath* OOOOOOHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHH this is gorgeous.
Well, that’s all I have for now! Hope I gave you a quali-tea review!
再見
Zàijiàn!
~GreenTea
Hi! Thanks so much for the feedback! I'm so glad you like it! (And yes, I spelled mystery wrong. Oops. XD)
ALSO.
"Guys, gals and non-binary pals"
Do you watch Thomas Sanders??
Heck yes I do!
Hello! This is my first review, so it likely won't be super helpful, but I'm doing it anyways! First off, I just want to say that I absolutely love this. I adore the many happy images of childhood you conjured with your writing. In addition, the images of life now are equally as powerful.
That being said, there were some grammatical and word choice issues. In the line "It's never enough, I can never bleed enough, grief enough, hate enough," "grief" should be replaced with "grieve". In the line "Where did I loose myself," "Loose" should be "lose". In the line "When I fell in love with the girl I'll never see again, who's notebook is long forgotten?" "who's" should be replaced with "whose". In the line "When my great-grandmothers chair became empty", you should add an apostrophe to "great-grandmothers," making it "great-grandmother's" . Lastly, in the line "For now, I'm a mysery" did you mean "mystery" or am I misinterpreting it?
Overall, this was a beautiful piece of writing, and I loved reading it.
All the best!
Hi! Thanks so much! It did help. ^^ (Yeesh, for someone who corrects peoples grammar all the time I sure do mess up a lot. XD)
Glad to be of help ^^
@TheBlueCat, @GodHatesMason, @Flumadiddle (and @WhosabellCanWrite.) Sorry, I would've tagged you guys sooner if I had remembered..*guilty*
YES
Thanks snickers!
No problem! ^^
@SpaceSnickerdoodle Tag me next time please!
Heyo! Sorry about this. I wrote this at 2am and forgot. XD
It's okayyyy