I like to go mudding
But it gets in the way.
I am a gamer and yet
I try to play when I can.
I would leave everything
Behind for you.
Anjelica I love yet
I have a funny way
Of showing it.
The end
(To my beloved I love you so much that it pains me to see you depressed I can't think of any other way of telling you I love you.)
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140,859 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Hey there! I'm here for a review.
your writing is great and yours emotions are showcased very well in this. But I agree that there is much more on which you need to work on. I agree to all the point in the below reviews.
I would like to suggest some things to you like...
1. You should use some poetic devices like imagery, oxymoron, personification, etc...
2. Please read your work when you write it once before posting. Please take help of your friends or family ask them to read what you have written and ask them to give you suggestions.
3. Editing is very important. i suggest you to edit it yourself or you can also take help of the co-author to edit it.
Now I would like to mention the mistakes which I found in this...
1. As mentioned in the previous reviews... Angelica I love yet should be either Angelica I love you or it maybe Angelica I still love you.
2. And in the brackets which is a very special message to your loved one... I pains me should be it pains me I guess.
This is all I have to say. And again please do read what you have written before you post and concentrate on minor mistakes and correct them.
Thank you.... Have a nice day...
Wtf is it wrong to post a love letter,in a way, on here and yea I see my mistake in the brakets
I never use a co author. And it's a continuation to the next line if you don't realize that
Yams here for a review!
This feels like a mess. There's no apparent stanzas in this and there's no structure to it. I don't know if it's just me and I don't understand to me but this is just bluntly simple and it I would've liked to see more imagery. It doesn't feel very original to me. I just feel like I've heard it all before and you added nothing new to love poetry which is very overdone in itself.
You could've gone into more depth with the imagery or explained more with the poetry. I don't have much else to say but this feels lacking of imagery and structure and all that.
That's all I have to say, have a nice day!
This is not poetry this is a love letter in a way but also the reasons how I fail as a boyfriend to her
I think that's this piece is a really sweet letter to your loved one. I think that it really shows emotion, and that you are trying to show it through your words. But I was a little confused with the part when you said, "Anjelica I love yet". Was it supposed to be Anjelica I love you? Anyway, that was really the only thing that confused me in this writing.
The line after that is the continuation of that sentence
I think this work does not need such a edit as any other novel or short story. It is full of emotions and realistic feeling of love and sadness. A very romantic piece indeed and I like it even if it just a short simple message, it shows enough of the love towards the one you feel as your beloved one.
The work just shows us all over again that one relationship is not perfect but true love is what matters in the end. It is written like a message or some kind of a letter so I will like to point out what I think about this part.
I think it needs to be 'I love you yet'. This was it is finished and still the rhyme does not go away and leaves the message sound very smooth at the end. (optional)
My favourite part is the one in which you say you love in a funny way. That made me smile around this sweetness in the work.
I think this is a very sweet but sad message full of love. I always will love simple poems with deep meaning and realistic feeling. Good job and keep on working.
It's a continuation to the next couple lines