Young Writers Society

How

are your

poems

so

amazing,

Shey?

I am fully aware you wrote this ages ago, but, man, this is amazing!

SHEY!! Why do you have to make me hungry? And why are you writing about grapes and cheese? Are you hungry too? I don't even know what else to say about this... xD

Ok, I do. This is a really good poem for how short it is. I don't get the weird aligning, but then again, I can't format at all! xD

Grapes and cheese are delicious

Hey Dogs here for a review!

First off let me start off by saying how cute I thought this poem was.

Okay I liked how it was short and simple, and the meaning can go so much deeper if you really think about it. This is just inspiring, and a cute little poem that can go such a long way!

This poem I believe will firmly lighten peoples spirits if they are having a bad day!
I'll be sure to come back and read this poem when I'm having a bad day at least! XD

Anyway let's move on to some nitpicks and little errors I noticed.

1) This is pretty much the only thing I noticed but you must remember to capitalize all your "I's," "I'll's," etc.

I guess you don't HAVE to do this... but I'm a grammar Nazi, so yeah sorry... It's one of my pet peeves I guess you could say!

Anyway I thought this poem was so cute, but yet it could have a huge meaning at the same time.

I like how you made it short and simple. A short poem that's extremely easy to read, I love poems like this. A short little poem with a large, deep message!

Overall I thought this was a cute poem with a bigger meaning. The more I read it the more better and meaningfulness it becomes. I'm not sure if this is what you were going for (the poem secretly having a huge meaning if you look deeper into it) but that's what I took from it!

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this poem, and hope I will run into it and read again. Maybe I'll be eating grapes and cheese when I read this again!

Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs

Truly an inspiring and thought-provoking poem about Grapes and Cheese. This is truly what I've needed to see my entire life. Thank you for showing me the light.

It’s obvious this poem is not one to be taken seriously. However, that does not excuse the fact that grammar is extremely important! When, beginning a sentence you need to capitalize the first letter. Same with I, in a sentence when referring to one’s self the i must be capitalized. Sorry that’s just one of my pet peeves. Sorry if I sound like a grammar nazi, but it’s basic english. Other than that it’s a funny and cute poem.

Hey, Sheyren. Willard here, it's like, one in the afternoon, and I have a review for you.

You wrote a satire poem.
satire

flies down

scans the room

"s...sa...suh...suhtire?"

"SUHTIRE?!

secretes green acid from my sides

screeches loudly

hisses

bites the head off a kid



You wrote a satire poem. Why is that so important?

Back when I was a disenfranchised child, so 2013, I had joined this site. Though I started off writing horrifically awkward short stories, I eventually found my way into satire poetry. Once again, those were bad, but I soon started building a foundation of them. I started creating a massive empire, where this was all I wanted to do. I wanted to write #EDGY satire that would rOcK da KNOCKAS oFF an average YWS user. I started having turf wars with the likes of @DrFeelGood , who was not only a great satirist, but literally the only other one on this site.

However, dreams don't last forever. He started writing spiritual poetry that got rid of all his edge, and once my crack addiction spiraled out of control, I decided to invest all my time in introspective extroverted poetry heavily inspired by emo music and philosophy. It doesn't mean I have abandoned all of my roots. Satire is still heavily prominent in my life and poetry. Hell, I got into an argument with another person on here about how satire can bleed into other genres. Though the awkward and cringe-worthy heyday of the genre on this site has been dead for a year or two now, it has never been forgotten.

That being said, satire doesn't get a lot of representation on this site. No one is devoted to it. Sure, there are a few poems here and there, but otherwise it's just dry as hell. As a result, no one is actively mastering the craft of it. My satire was anything but the best, I wouldn't even say I mastered it, but it did take a while for me to perfect my voice. If no one isn't consistently trying and making an effort, then satire as we know it on here won't have proper representation.

I would love to cite what DarshayataDeka said:

First with "Eyelash " and now with this poem, you are without doubt the most humorous poet on YWS

This. Is. Beautiful.

Hey! This was a really interesting poem. It was kinda deep and humorous at the same time. The only mistakes that I saw was to make sure that you capitalize all the I's at least. I know some poems purposefully don't capitalize the first letter but at least the I's. And that's it. It had good flow even if the format was a little unusual. It was really sweet and simple. It made you think about people in a different way and kinda of encourage you to do things that you wouldn't do normally. Although it weird it had a deeper meaning. I know it's supposed to be funny but good job. Definitely a favourite. Keep writing! <3

Sarah24

Is it strange that I find this poem kind of... deep? o.O

The more I read it, the more it becomes a simple masterpiece. Sheyren, what have you done?

Next time, write a poem about being a PotatoLord

I expected a Game of Thrones pun at the end, nevertheless.

Hi! Thought I'd drop in for a quick review. I know this is not a serious poem, but still.

First with "Eyelash " and now with this poem, you are without doubt the most humorous poet on YWS. Using this format (I don't know what it's called) instead of the traditional box format and lowercase letters to begin a new line makes the poem unique and special. I loved it! Keeping it short and simple and ending it in a kind of abrupt and funny way made it more hilarious. I did not notice any typos and stuff. If you want, then you could add more details in the middle. But, like this also, the poem is very attractive to the reader's eye and worthy of a good laugh.

Overall, it was a great poem, a humorous work and a pleasant read. Keep up the good work!

Needs more lemon.