Young Writers Society

wHo Is tHiS "sHe"? Lol. Great poem, btw! <3

Shame on @saentiel. Bagels are precious,especially with cream cheese. I just noticed that I don’t know if you even like cheese,or if you’re allergic. Oh well,bagels are amazing no matter how you eat them. Anyways,it’s REVIEW TIME! As always your poem is humorous and I liked the way you would repeat cereal. It shows how boring your breakfast was,until finally it was time for your bagel. Also,the fact that you don’t have a breakfast calendar is funny because it’s a fun take on exaggerations . Same with “it had my name written all over it”and “i even used sharpie”. It’s clear that no one would do such a thing and pointing that out was the best part of the joke. The only problem I have is that “i” should be typed like this I. I IS NOT WRITTEN LOWERCASE WHEN SPEAKING ABOUT ONE’S SELF. I know poems don’t have to have perfect grammar,but I’ve noticed that in a lot of works. Lots of people make mistakes and that’s okay. Overall,great poem. By the way bagels are not healthy,so it would not be in the health genre… Unless,that’s part of the joke. Please don’t kill @saentiel,she’s super sweet.

Might I guess who 'she' is? Your sister, perhaps?

Anyways, onto the review. This was in the spotlight, so I thought I'd drop by. I do love humorous poems, by the way.

That really didn't go onto the review. Onto the review, for reals!

supposedly
poetry is meant to vent,
express your feelings
when conversation doesn't work --> like MJTucker said, 'when no one understands/except the paper' might sound better.
then let me talk about
the bagel --> this may be stylistic on your part, but I would personally put a period here

my breakfast calendar read
"Cereal --> unlike MJTucker, I believe the lack of day is trying to prove a point: you dislike the same old, same old cereal (quite like myself)
Cereal
Cereal
BAGEL DAY"
but she ate the last bagel anyway --> I'm assuming this was a sibling, and this line is so true. Siblings. I have first hand experience.

just kidding,
i don't have a breakfast calendar --> I believe that the 'i' is not capitalized for stylistic choices, so I won't correct that
but i planned to eat that bagel
it had my name written all over it
i even used a sharpie
(not really) --> I personally don't like brackets in poetry, so perhaps you could say instead, 'I even used a sharpie/well, okay, maybe I didn't', but like I said, it's just a personal opinion.

i had cereal instead
it was boring
just another bowl
of cereal

but she apologized
for eating the last bagel --> again, if you were using periods I'd insert one here.
i've never held a grudge
and won't ever
unless she eats the last bagel again --> a great ending line! well, besides 'you've been warned'
(you've been warned)

Wow you really scared me there with the last line.Well to speak the truth I've never ate a bagel before, I know what it is but are they salty or sweet.Are they like doughnuts? well the thing is it was really funny. Things actually rhymed. Really well written and you are a pretty calm person aren't u I would've killed that person who ate the last bagel by the way even if I've never ate one.

Hey there! MJ stopping by for a(pitiful attempt at a) review!

First, it's really hard to give a serious review to a humorous poem, so I'm going to do my best and actually give you some tips here.

express your feelings
when conversation doesn't work

"Cereal
Cereal
Cereal
BAGEL DAY"

This is the best!!!!!!!!