supposedly
poetry is meant to vent,
express your feelings
when conversation doesn't work
then let me talk about
the bagel
my breakfast calendar read
"Cereal
Cereal
Cereal
BAGEL DAY"
but she ate the last bagel anyway
just kidding,
i don't have a breakfast calendar
but i planned to eat that bagel
it had my name written all over
it
i even used a sharpie
(not really)
i had cereal instead
it was boring
just another bowl
of cereal
but she apologized
for eating the last bagel
i've never held a grudge
and won't ever
unless she eats the last bagel again
(you've been warned)
*based on true events
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139,347 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
wHo Is tHiS "sHe"? Lol. Great poem, btw! <3
@magestorrow
Ooh, I see!
Shame on @saentiel. Bagels are precious,especially with cream cheese. I just noticed that I don’t know if you even like cheese,or if you’re allergic. Oh well,bagels are amazing no matter how you eat them. Anyways,it’s REVIEW TIME! As always your poem is humorous and I liked the way you would repeat cereal. It shows how boring your breakfast was,until finally it was time for your bagel. Also,the fact that you don’t have a breakfast calendar is funny because it’s a fun take on exaggerations . Same with “it had my name written all over it”and “i even used sharpie”. It’s clear that no one would do such a thing and pointing that out was the best part of the joke. The only problem I have is that “i” should be typed like this I. I IS NOT WRITTEN LOWERCASE WHEN SPEAKING ABOUT ONE’S SELF. I know poems don’t have to have perfect grammar,but I’ve noticed that in a lot of works. Lots of people make mistakes and that’s okay. Overall,great poem.
By the way bagels are not healthy,so it would not be in the health genre… Unless,that’s part of the joke. Please don’t kill @saentiel,she’s super sweet.
Thanks for the review!
of course I like bagelsMight I guess who 'she' is? Your sister, perhaps?
Anyways, onto the review. This was in the spotlight, so I thought I'd drop by. I do love humorous poems, by the way.
That really didn't go onto the review. Onto the review, for reals!
Overall
I love this! Like I said, I love humorous poetry, so you tickled my funny bone
Thanks for the review! Glad you enjoyed!
Haha you're welcome
Wow you really scared me there with the last line.Well to speak the truth I've never ate a bagel before, I know what it is but are they salty or sweet.Are they like doughnuts? well the thing is it was really funny. Things actually rhymed. Really well written and you are a pretty calm person aren't u I would've killed that person who ate the last bagel by the way even if I've never ate one.
Glad you enjoyed!
... How haven't you ever eaten a bagel?
I'm Indian, bagels are not common here.
Ah, I see.
Hey there! MJ stopping by for a(pitiful attempt at a) review!
I wouldn't really say that poetry is second-best to conversation, so maybe you could say "when no one can understand (space) except the paper". That's a more drastic change, but I don't think that you should imply that poetry isn't as good as regular conversation in a poem.First, it's really hard to give a serious review to a humorous poem, so I'm going to do my best and actually give you some tips here.
More nitpicky, but why does BAGEL have a day after it and not cereal? As an avid cereal lover(Lucky Charms for the win!), I am offended at this discrimination against milkiness and crunchy(most of the time) goodness.
Okay, so overall, there's not much to critique about this poem. I would have liked to see the MC's specific reaction, like maybe he yells at her and then feels silly, or something among those lines. But other than that, my favorite part was the overexaggeration and then the correction(specifically, when you talked about the breakfast calendar). I tend to do that too in conversations, and then somebody will correct me.
Although what you have there is still good, one other way you could write this is to have the sister on the side, like if you've seen poems that have a voice echoing on the side that has a few lines, but the majority of the poem is on the left side. That would also add an element of humor as the sister corrected you, "There's no breakfast calendar" and "You didn't write your name on it".
Hopefully this review was helpful, and this made me laugh, so good job on that! If you have any questions, don't hesitate to let me know, and I'll do my best to answer them. Have a potato-licious day
MJ out!
*poof*
Thanks for the review!
This is the best!!!!!!!!
Thanks