Did she not see the endless possibilities? Infinite in nature?
She walked among the stars, her feet to be brought to the ground.
How could she fly among the dahlias until they had flowered?
How could she? How dare she?
A life had been given, in anger it was wasted.
Is being wasted throughout.
And, after all this, it is I who cannot silence myself, my soul, of its chaos.
It has been screaming at her through all windows and doors. Through cemented walls and drains –
“How can you be so? How dare you be so?”
There are emotions, expressed and unexpressed.
She blocked me everywhere so that I could not even peek into her life.
Was it my ego wounded? Or else why was I affected?
She has to understand that it is the survival of the fittest. She cannot exist.
I would murder her if not I had a conscience.
Beautiful words have lost their way.
It seems I still cannot silence myself.
If “Why?” is the question, it still prevails unanswered.
There is anger in me, in her, in everyone.
Then, is she the only one who’s had the courage to stand up?
And am I the foolish coward to pretend?
But, I have to live in this very world, a nasty place to live in.
I shall find the beauty and continue.
Silence, I shall never attain.
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140,627 Literary Works • 673,567 Reviews
Hello Sharon I m Kostia and will give you a review for your poem.
I feel like I ve read this before I don't know if you recently edited it but I have the feeling something changed.
Anyway. I really liked your poem, your wording is lovely and simple and inspires (to me at least) intense feelings. There is a sense of anger and disappointment from the very first verses which really caught my attention and gives a powerful tone to your poem.
I exceptionally liked the following verses:
"How could she? How dare she?
A life had been given, in anger it was wasted.
Is being wasted throughout."
I really loved what you did there with such simple words you created a deep meaning easy to relate to.
I m under the impression this poem is about a lover however I got confused as I read. I couldn't really understand what was the source of disappointment and anger. Was it her? Or life in general?
Moreover you have a good structure and your poem is enjoyable to read. I don't know if you attempted to separate it in stanzas. My opinion is you should. The poem is pretty big and it could use some stanzas to make it easier to understand so the reader can comprehend what you are trying to say. Moreover stanzas will divide your poem into themes and it will certainly make it look better and more concise. Think about that when you edit it.
Finally I loved the last verse it closed the poem beautifully.
"Silence, I shall never attain."
I hope my suggestions were helpful.
Keep up the good work!
Hai Sharon1407,
Wow, just Wow!!!! You're amazing, I'm really blinded by your words! NO joke like this is legit one of the best poems I've read. The one thing that really kind of left me blank was that I am not very fond of this "she". I think I feel that I should be at least given a clue to know who "she" is. I guess your trying to just make this as mysterious as possible but poems are usually pretty open to words, this one not as quite. I love the content but there is not much character to this poem. The best poems are the ones that show emotion and you have definitaly done that. I love it though I could take this all day, everyday! Good Work!! Keep Writing!