Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

LMS VI: Shadows & Dragonfire - Chapter 2.5

by ScarlettFire


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Word Count: 1047

Chapter 2.5

Lorne woke to someone shaking his shoulder. He only just restrained himself from stabbing Sage in the gut. As it was, his dagger was poised between them, tip inches from Sage's belly. The dragon merely raised an eyebrow at him and Lorne huffed, putting the dagger away.

"My turn for watch?" he asked gruffly, rolling up onto his ass while Sage withdrew and moved to check on Emrys where the other man was laying by the fire.

"Yes," Sage said, and nudged Emrys with his foot. Emrys grunted and shoved the foot away. Sage just sent him a look and shrugged before heading off towards the edges of the camp.

Lorne watched him standing there for a moment before he moved to sit beside Emrys by the fire.

~*~*~*~

The next few nights were surprisingly uneventful--and quiet, which was concerning considering that the village was full of wraiths. The fact that they weren't making noise or showing up was very, very.... Unnerving, to put it lightly. Lorne was worried that something was going on, that the wraiths were either banding together or plotting, or something to that effect.

At least Emrys was feeling better.

Possibly enough to consider moving on, which was a good idea. Lingering near the village of Edda was a bad idea.

So when they woke that morning, they packed up camp and sat around the banked campfire, trying to figure out where to go next. Cass and Issy had produced a map of the region and had it spread out between them, heads together as they studied it.

"We go head for the academy in the marshes," Issy said, frowning slightly. "Or we could follow the river north, towards Wren..."

"Or we could cut across the grasslands to Sebb," Cass added, then glanced up at the others. Lorne watched them carefully. "Which poses its own kind of risks, ro be honest."

"Like the fact that we would be exposed, whatever choice we make?" Vena asked, and Cass nodded. She sighed. "A tough choise to make, then."

"Yep," Issy said and exhaled heavily. "Definitely screwed whatever path we take."

"Hence the point of this conversation." Cass nodded towards the others, then to the map. "So, which path do we want to vote on?"

"I vote we avoid the academy," Sage said, inclining his head. "I may have upset more than a few people there."

Lorne snorted and rolled his eyes. "Alright, then. That's a no for the academy." He glanced about the group. "I vote for Wren."

Emrys nodded. "Wren as well."

He looked towards Vena. She snorted. "Wren," she said, the inclined her head. "Best to stick close to the river, hm?"

Cass nodded, then gestured to Issy. "We also vote Wren."

"That's four for Wren," Lorne said, then looked at Sage. "You alright with that?"

"Wren is a fine choice," Sage said, nodding. "Honestly, anywhere but Raj Valanis." He offered them all a wry smile and then stood. "We had best get moving, no?"

~*~*~*~

Wren was another three days north and across the river--which was a bit of a challenge. At least there had been no more surprises. Well, deadly ones anyway. Vena scouted with her leopard, Sage hunted, Cass and Issy navigated and Lorne was left to keep an eye on Emrys when they were left alone.

At least Wren was intact when they got to the village and after a brief stop overnight at Wren, they headed another three days next to Lua, then two more on to the lakeside city of Sarea. Wren had been lively in a charming sort of way while Lua was sleepy and barely more than three houses and a tavern. Sarea City, though, was thriving and busy. Lorne wasn't sure where to look as they entered through the eastern gate and headed down the main road towards the central markets.

"So," Lorne said, leaning towards Emrys as they walked behind Vena, Sage and the younger two. "Where exactly are Cass and Issy leading us?"

Emrys shrugged. "I have no idea. I've never been to this city before."

He hummed thoughtfully, gaze darting towards a shadowy alley as they passed and gave the shadowy figures hiding there a narrow-eyed look. "Fair point," he murmured, frowning. "I don't think I came this way when I found my way to Sage's little castle."

"My home is not little," Sage called back and Lorne snorted out a laugh.

"He likes to pretend he's an all-powerful monster," Lorne stage-whispered, "but he's really just a big old softie."

Emrys snorted at that and sent him a look. Lorne stared back, and ignored the dragon glowering at them from several feet in front of them. Emrys smiled at him, gaze flickering down towards his lips. Lorne blinked at him.

"Of course he is," Emrys whispered back, smiling again. "Should we let him know?"

"Nah."

"I can hear you," Sage added, a little louder.

Lorne and Emrys shared a grin before hurrying to catch up to the rest of their group. Cass and Issy were talking again, heads close together with Vena right behind them. Her leopard was surprisingly absent. Honestly, though, Lorne figured that having a large cat in a busy city would be a little... unnerving for a lot of people.

At least they weren't camped near a destroyed village full of angry wraiths. Lorne was still worried that something was going on with the wraiths. They had to have gone somewhere, and they certainly weren't in the village. He had a feeling that something had changed, but they could hardly go back there to figure it out. That was something that would need to be addressed at another point in time. A much later time. Much, much later.

"I'm guessing a tavern," Emrys said after a few moment of silence and then looped his arm through Lorne's. Lorne looked over at him, surprised. "I mean, it's the logical choise, isn't it?"

Lorne sighed, gaze darting down to their interlocked arms and back up. "Probably..." He huffed and glanced away, feeling a little warm now--probably blushing. "Now the question is which tavern."

"Mmh, good point."

They both looked towards Cass and Issy. "Maybe my brother has an idea of which one they'd headed to?"

"Maybe," Emrys murmured, tugging Lorne a little closer.

At that moment, Sage glanced back. Lorne abruptly pulled away from Emrys and scowled, picking up the pace so he could catch up to the rest of the group. Emrys's laughter followed him.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1173 Reviews


Points: 97484
Reviews: 1173

Donate
Mon Jan 09, 2023 6:16 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Diving straight back in because you already know I'm here to review!

For the sake of conciseness, I'd question the need for the first section here. Sage wakes Lorne up for his watch which we already knew was going to happen, given that they talked about taking turns in the last part. Nothing notable seems to happen so it makes me wonder why you've chosen to include it? Does Lorne think something about Emrys or Sage that's important perhaps? I don't think you need to show the dynamic between Lorde and Sage more at this point because we've kind of already got a handle on their relationship.

I've not quite grasped why they've continued to stay in the same place - I know Emrys wasn't that well but I also didn't get the impression he was so unwell they couldn't continue travelling...can Sage not carry him or is that an insult to a dragon? I think this could be explained more in the last part.

I also can't help but feel the wraiths amounted to nothing. You built them up so well and then we never actually encountered them, and they conveniently go silent the last days they make camp there? I'm sure there's a reason, but I feel like they were over-egged a bit if we're not going to see any more from them any time soon.

So when they woke that morning, they packed up camp and sat around the banked campfire, trying to figure out where to go next.

Wouldn't it make more sense for them to figure out where they're going before they pack up? Like, what were they talking about the past few days?

"That's four for Wren," Lorne said, then looked at Sage.

Isn't that five?

I liked the little conversations that take place when they're walking. That really builds the characters for me and makes me more invested in them! I'm interested to see who they're going to meet at the tavern, and whether Cass and Issy actually know where they're going!

Icy




User avatar
3850 Reviews


Points: 210016
Reviews: 3850

Donate
Sat Dec 24, 2022 11:27 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! Well well, I am starting to get very paranoid now for this chapter with quite how long things have started to just slow but surely tend towards being worse and worse.

First Impression: Hmm well we do have our release of tension except of course it didn't quite happen in the way that I thought it would. And it seems we're moving on quickly from there for now, so let's see where this goes.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Lorne woke to someone shaking his shoulder. He only just restrained himself from stabbing Sage in the gut. As it was, his dagger was poised between them, tip inches from Sage's belly. The dragon merely raised an eyebrow at him and Lorne huffed, putting the dagger away.

"My turn for watch?" he asked gruffly, rolling up onto his ass while Sage withdrew and moved to check on Emrys where the other man was laying by the fire.

"Yes," Sage said, and nudged Emrys with his foot. Emrys grunted and shoved the foot away. Sage just sent him a look and shrugged before heading off towards the edges of the camp.

Lorne watched him standing there for a moment before he moved to sit beside Emrys by the fire.


Well that's surprisingly sedate again. The more time passes with nothing happening the more it seems like anything and everything is about to just attack them and I love that feeling, it definitely ensures that we just can't really afford to stop reading.

The next few nights were surprisingly uneventful--and quiet, which was concerning considering that the village was full of wraiths. The fact that they weren't making noise or showing up was very, very.... Unnerving, to put it lightly. Lorne was worried that something was going on, that the wraiths were either banding together or plotting, or something to that effect.

At least Emrys was feeling better.

Possibly enough to consider moving on, which was a good idea. Lingering near the village of Edda was a bad idea.


Hmm I was about to ask why they would even consider spending this many nights in a dead village but well Emrys needing to get better explains it well enough. At the very least it seems like at the first sign of Emrys being better they are ready to move out of this horrible place.

"Like the fact that we would be exposed, whatever choice we make?" Vena asked, and Cass nodded. She sighed. "A tough choise to make, then."

"Yep," Issy said and exhaled heavily. "Definitely screwed whatever path we take."

"Hence the point of this conversation." Cass nodded towards the others, then to the map. "So, which path do we want to vote on?"

"I vote we avoid the academy," Sage said, inclining his head. "I may have upset more than a few people there."

Lorne snorted and rolled his eyes. "Alright, then. That's a no for the academy." He glanced about the group. "I vote for Wren."


Okayy well these are some interesting routes to be planning here. Love that we're getting some solid hints of the worldbuilding at play here with each little dive that we take towards getting our plans finalized for the next destination. Hopefully they can get as far as actually leaving before they're attacked.

"Wren is a fine choice," Sage said, nodding. "Honestly, anywhere but Raj Valanis." He offered them all a wry smile and then stood. "We had best get moving, no?"


Oooh I feel like I vaguely remember that academy name, but I'm going to assume that's a random storybook and it seems we are going to be doing our best to avoid it anyway. Now here's to hoping this Wren place isn't as bad Edda was.

Wren was another three days north and across the river--which was a bit of a challenge. At least there had been no more surprises. Well, deadly ones anyway. Vena scouted with her leopard, Sage hunted, Cass and Issy navigated and Lorne was left to keep an eye on Emrys when they were left alone.

At least Wren was intact when they got to the village and after a brief stop overnight at Wren, they headed another three days next to Lua, then two more on to the lakeside city of Sarea. Wren had been lively in a charming sort of way while Lua was sleepy and barely more than three houses and a tavern. Sarea City, though, was thriving and busy. Lorne wasn't sure where to look as they entered through the eastern gate and headed down the main road towards the central markets.

"So," Lorne said, leaning towards Emrys as they walked behind Vena, Sage and the younger two. "Where exactly are Cass and Issy leading us?"


Okayy this is a lot of distance suddenly covered. It seems we're just not going to have any of those potential threats in Edda make an appearance after all. I think in some degree that does make a lot of sense there because they did make an effort to stay far away from the more dangerous parts of it and just quietly spend the time. These places being better off is a welcome sign so far.

Emrys snorted at that and sent him a look. Lorne stared back, and ignored the dragon glowering at them from several feet in front of them. Emrys smiled at him, gaze flickering down towards his lips. Lorne blinked at him.

"Of course he is," Emrys whispered back, smiling again. "Should we let him know?"

"Nah."

"I can hear you," Sage added, a little louder.


Ahh well this is a lovely callback to the easy camaraderie we saw in the first chapter. The tension being built was starting to have these people head a more towards tense conversation in the past couple of chapters so this is good to see here even as small as that exchange was.

Lorne sighed, gaze darting down to their interlocked arms and back up. "Probably..." He huffed and glanced away, feeling a little warm now--probably blushing. "Now the question is which tavern."

"Mmh, good point."

They both looked towards Cass and Issy. "Maybe my brother has an idea of which one they'd headed to?"

"Maybe," Emrys murmured, tugging Lorne a little closer.

At that moment, Sage glanced back. Lorne abruptly pulled away from Emrys and scowled, picking up the pace so he could catch up to the rest of the group. Emrys's laughter followed him.


Okay okay...well it seems we do have or release of tension with that as we run off in the direction of these new towns and so far besides them being mostly intact and different to Edda we don't seem to be running into anything particular special about it just yet.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Well it looks like for the moment the biggest issue they have to worry about is that every present question mark over a healer and wherever it is they head to next. And of course the unsolved mystery of Cass and magic but I have a feeling that won't be solved for quite some time yet.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.
— Ellen DeGeneres