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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

LMS VI: Shadows & Dragonfire - Chapter 2.4

by ScarlettFire


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Word Count: 1005

Chapter 2.4

Sage was the one to carry Emrys back to their camp, leading the way while Lorne and Alvena guarded his back. Lorne kept glancing back at Alvena, who was bringing up the very rear of their little party. She looked concerned and kept glancing behind them as if she were worried they were being followed. Lorne was worried, too. Something clearly had Vena on edge. Which meant he was on edge as well. Who knew if Sage was also bothered by it or not.

"Something is wrong," Vena muttered, dragging Lorne's attention back to her. She was frowning. "It is too... quiet."

Lorne hummed. "I agree, and I don't like it."

"You think that I do?"

Sage snorted. "I think no one likes this place, Alvena."

~*~*~*~

Lorne sat beside the fire, gazing across at where Sage had set Emrys down and was checking him over. Cass and Issy were sitting off to the side, where they'd been before they'd left. There had been questions when they'd returned, of course, but Lorne hadn't had any answers for them.

Which had led to their current situation. Emrys unconscious with Alvena and Sage by him. He hadn't woken up yet and it was starting to worry all of them. And with no healer... Well, that wasn't looking good.

They really needed a healer...

Lorne sighed and clasped his hands together, pressing them against his lips as he watched the dragon and elf woman murmur softly together as they worked. Vena had gone off for a few minutes and come back with a handful of plants; flowers and leaves that Lorne hadn't recognised. She'd started grinding the various pieces of foliage into some kind of paste and was in the process of applying it to the wound on Emrys's forehead.

"Will he be alright?" Lorne asked, lowering his hands for a moment.

"We do not know yet," Vena said, applying more of the paste before she pulled back to study Ermys carefully. He'd barely twitched since they'd found him and now the sun was rising above the sparse treeline and scattered remanants of wood and stone. "All we can do now is wait."

"He needs time," Sage said, sighing as he moved to sit back from Emrys. "This is not the best place to be right now, not with a village full of wraiths so close by."

They all looked in the direction of the village. Lorne frowned. "You do have a point there."

"It makes me uncomfortable," Cass muttered, shifting uncomfortable--the movement caught Lorne's eye and he turned back. "What? You know I'm just saying what everyone's thinking."

"It's creepy," Issy grumbled, leaning heavily into Cass's side. "And I don't like it either.

"What if he doesn't wake up?" Lorne asked, circling back to what was bothering him most. That Emrys may be unconcious for days if they couldn't find a healer. "We don't have a healer and Vena's herbal pastes can only do so much."

"You are correct, Lorne. The pastes help with infection and fever, with healing..." She trailed off, looking concerned and thoughtful. "But they can not beat an actual healer. And I have a feeling that we'll be needing one on this journey."

"I don't even know where to start looking," he said, exhaling heavily and leaning back. "Where does one even find a healer nowadays?"

Sage snorted. "The Asturian Imperial Army for a start."

Alvena huffed out a humourless little laugh. "Asturia?" She shook her head. "They are far across the broken sea, Sage. They won't come here."

"You can't be sure of that."

Alvena scowled at him. "The Emperor's reach goes far and wide." She sent Sage a dark look. "He will set his eyes on Melnar and Veshor eventually. Once he's done with Sankar and Belasi, with the rest of the Asturian Continent." She glanced towards Lorne, then to Cass and Issy. "It is only a matter of time, Sage."

Lorne rubbed a hand over his face. "Why are we discussing politics?"

"Because... you all worry.. too much about shit you can't control..."

Emrys's voice startled him, startled everyone in fact. Lorne turned to find Emrys leaning up on one elbow, squinting around at them all. "Emrys," Lorne said, moving to rise. Sage held out a hand and Lorne sank back down. "We thought you wouldn't wake up anytime soon."

"To be perfectly honest," Emrys said, sounding strained. "I didn't think I would either."

Lorne glanced towards Sage and Vena, then to Cass and Issy.

"Do you remember what happened?" Sage asked, leaning forward. Emrys met the dragon's gaze steadily. Lorne looked away, swallowing thickly. "We deduced you were attacked, but we have no idea who it was. Or how."

Emrys cleared his throat. "It was a girl," he said, a little shakily. "Just a child, really." Lorne glanced back, found Emrys frowning. "She hits fucking hard. I didn't see where she went." Emrys glanced up. "But she had been crying. That's why I went to speak to her."

That seemed to confuse Sage and the others. "A survivor?"

"Possibly," Vena said, slowly. "There was nothing... odd about her?"

The other man shook his head. "Looked like a normal girl to me, Vena."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Sage," Emrys hissed and fell back down onto his bedroll. "I'm sure. It's just a girl. Probably scared and alone. I mean, you saw the village."

Lorne glanced around at each of their little group and frowned. "Should we look for her?"

Emrys huffed. "I have a feeling she'll find us, Lorne."

He snorted. "Well, that's reassuring..."

"I'm going to sleep now," Emrys said and promptly passed out again.

Vena swore and lunged forward to grab his chin, inspecting his face closely. She was silent for several minutes and then exhaled heavily. She sat back, releasing Emrys with a sigh.

"He will be fine," she said, glancing towards Lorne. "He just needs to rest. Best to have someone watch him while he sleeps, though." She nodded at him, eyes still on Lorne. "Just in case."

"I'll watch him," Sage said before Lorne could, then looked at him. "I'll wake you in a few hours."

Lorne nodded. "Thanks." He looked at the others again. "You lot best get some rest while you can."


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Mon Jan 09, 2023 3:42 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Back again!

"Something is wrong," Vena muttered, dragging Lorne's attention back to her. She was frowning. "It is too... quiet."

Lorne hummed. "I agree, and I don't like it."

"You think that I do?"

Sage snorted. "I think no one likes this place, Alvena."


I can't tell if it's because these are posted as separate parts and I'm not getting into the flow of the thing the same way I would if I was reading it as one continual chapter (of course totally not your fault and I very much appreciate you posting these in digestible chunks) but I'm feeling like the repeating the fact that it's weird/too quiet and the characters don't like it is getting a little much. I think for me, you've made the point clearly and I don't need to be told again because I'm totally on board that it's weird.

"It makes me uncomfortable," Cass muttered, shifting uncomfortable--the movement caught Lorne's eye and he turned back. "What? You know I'm just saying what everyone's thinking."

"It's creepy," Issy grumbled, leaning heavily into Cass's side. "And I don't like it either.

Again, I don't think you need this.

I was surprised how easily the others accepted Emrys' explanation of what happened to him, and the fact that he says there was nothing special about the girl that she could take him down? Wouldn't there be some discussion or at least thought in Lorne's mind that he could have concussion or something similar and not fully remember what happened? Or something to that effect.

I thought we'd got our next mini-quest lined up with finding a healer but now Emrys has awoken I'm less sure. Either way, I hope they move away from the creepy village soon because there's very clearly something going on there that they don't want to get caught up in!

Icy




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Sat Dec 24, 2022 11:13 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! Okayyy yet another part here, I wonder if this time we're going to have yet more tension build or if we'll finally have more of a release happening now that the building has happened for some time.

First Impression: We've got yet another case of the rising and falling tension but once again it seems to only really end up going towards the maximum tension instead of really showcasing too much in terms of whatever is building up being let loose.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Sage was the one to carry Emrys back to their camp, leading the way while Lorne and Alvena guarded his back. Lorne kept glancing back at Alvena, who was bringing up the very rear of their little party. She looked concerned and kept glancing behind them as if she were worried they were being followed. Lorne was worried, too. Something clearly had Vena on edge. Which meant he was on edge as well. Who knew if Sage was also bothered by it or not.

"Something is wrong," Vena muttered, dragging Lorne's attention back to her. She was frowning. "It is too... quiet."

Lorne hummed. "I agree, and I don't like it."

"You think that I do?"

Sage snorted. "I think no one likes this place, Alvena."


Okay second time we've had quietness be mentioned as a pretty big issue as they all return. I have a feeling this is now a little bit of foreshadowing perhaps that they are definitely on the brink of being attacked by a large legion of some sort.

Lorne sat beside the fire, gazing across at where Sage had set Emrys down and was checking him over. Cass and Issy were sitting off to the side, where they'd been before they'd left. There had been questions when they'd returned, of course, but Lorne hadn't had any answers for them.

Which had led to their current situation. Emrys unconscious with Alvena and Sage by him. He hadn't woken up yet and it was starting to worry all of them. And with no healer... Well, that wasn't looking good.

They really needed a healer...


A healer does seem necessarily. Given quite how large and injury prone and prone to vanishing this whole party happens to be, it really seems like they're going to start to miss a healer more and more as things go on.

"We do not know yet," Vena said, applying more of the paste before she pulled back to study Ermys carefully. He'd barely twitched since they'd found him and now the sun was rising above the sparse treeline and scattered remanants of wood and stone. "All we can do now is wait."

"He needs time," Sage said, sighing as he moved to sit back from Emrys. "This is not the best place to be right now, not with a village full of wraiths so close by."

They all looked in the direction of the village. Lorne frowned. "You do have a point there."

"It makes me uncomfortable," Cass muttered, shifting uncomfortable--the movement caught Lorne's eye and he turned back. "What? You know I'm just saying what everyone's thinking."


Well the creepiness is definitely coming across here. I like that we've got almost everyone mentions it in some way or the other as they realize it. It makes it a bit more realistic for everyone to note that as each one of them realizes one thing that's especially spooky. The resulting of it all being presented to us showcases just how creepy this place is.

"You are correct, Lorne. The pastes help with infection and fever, with healing..." She trailed off, looking concerned and thoughtful. "But they can not beat an actual healer. And I have a feeling that we'll be needing one on this journey."

"I don't even know where to start looking," he said, exhaling heavily and leaning back. "Where does one even find a healer nowadays?"

Sage snorted. "The Asturian Imperial Army for a start."


Well that was a quick answer there. A little too quick perhaps but that does seem like something they will need to be headed towards as soon as possibly honestly. Especially with Vena's explanation on how effective her temporary solution was they definitely won't get far without a healer.

Emrys's voice startled him, startled everyone in fact. Lorne turned to find Emrys leaning up on one elbow, squinting around at them all. "Emrys," Lorne said, moving to rise. Sage held out a hand and Lorne sank back down. "We thought you wouldn't wake up anytime soon."

"To be perfectly honest," Emrys said, sounding strained. "I didn't think I would either."

Lorne glanced towards Sage and Vena, then to Cass and Issy.


To be perfectly honest, I didn't either. OKay, well that's a good moment, although I have a feeling once again even though this releases some of the tension that we do have, the description Emrys gives of whatever attacked him will just raise all the tension right back up.

Emrys cleared his throat. "It was a girl," he said, a little shakily. "Just a child, really." Lorne glanced back, found Emrys frowning. "She hits fucking hard. I didn't see where she went." Emrys glanced up. "But she had been crying. That's why I went to speak to her."

That seemed to confuse Sage and the others. "A survivor?"

"Possibly," Vena said, slowly. "There was nothing... odd about her?"

The other man shook his head. "Looked like a normal girl to me, Vena."


Oh that's interesting. Vena's questions seems pretty fair, but the answer has things be very, very curious. If a single girl survived the reason for her just hanging around and then staying hidden only to attack the first person she probably saw since whatever destructions happened seems a little unlikely. Well the attack sort of makes sense but hanging around these ruins especially as a little girl doesn't seem like something a lot of people would do, although not running away into an unknown wilderness also seems reasonable for a little girl so perhaps this does all work after all.

Emrys huffed. "I have a feeling she'll find us, Lorne."

He snorted. "Well, that's reassuring..."

"I'm going to sleep now," Emrys said and promptly passed out again.

Vena swore and lunged forward to grab his chin, inspecting his face closely. She was silent for several minutes and then exhaled heavily. She sat back, releasing Emrys with a sigh.

"He will be fine," she said, glancing towards Lorne. "He just needs to rest. Best to have someone watch him while he sleeps, though." She nodded at him, eyes still on Lorne. "Just in case."


Well at least we've got someone staying up to keep watch. The idea of something coming for the them in the dark is a little too pressing of an issue for them to ignore and just sleep, even if the potential assailant is just a little girl or at least appears as one.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: And we have yet another chapter of things getting progressively more dangerous with more problems opening for each one that seems to be closing here. Let's see if the next chapter changes things up or not...

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





The emperor is rich, but he can't buy another day.
— Chinese Proverb