16+

LMS VI: Shadows & Dragonfire - Chapter 1.2

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

WC: 1318.

Chapter 1.2

Later, when they'd settled down around the fire and caught up a little--Aeron, their eldest sister, was set to marry a noble (a cousin, if Lorne was remembering the family correctly) while Brynn was bethrothed to a princess from a neighbouring kingdom (Cassidy's sister, if Lorne was corrent) along with several other potential issues that had cropped up in the years since Lorne had left. Although, it had been a while since Issy was also home, so that information might have been out of date.

As it was, the fire was warm and the company good, even if the conversation was a little stilted but at least there was conversation.

Lorne was excited to see his sister-turned-brother. Islwyn had had a rough few years after he'd left. A struggle to be recognised as a boy instead of a girl, the years he'd spent searching for Lorne, the four dragons he'd killed during that time. And Lorne had spent the entire time tending gardens or training with the others in a dragon's castle.

He sighed, leaning back against the partial rock wall he'd sat down beside and gazed out over the fire and the small group gathered around it. Sage had returned to his usual form and taken up much of the free space in an area where there was room for him.

Firelight reflected off green scales and a giant, red eyes blinked at him. Lorne smiled slightly and turned his attention back to his sibling. Issy was chatting away with Cassidy about some new sword fight technic he'd learnbed from a foreign soldier. They had agreed that they would need to train later.

Lorne fiddled with the mug in his hand, glancing away from them. He could see the affection between them, possibly something that could bloom beyond that. It warmed him to see his little brother getting along with someone else of a similar age, outside of their family.

The night continued on like that for much longer than Lorne thought, well beyond when he would've sent Issy and Cassidy to bed. He left them be, rising silently and exchanging a nod of understanding with Delwyn and shallow bow to Sage. He took his leave carefully, heading back to room he'd chosen for him own--one of the few that were still livable.

~*~*~*~

Lorne woke to the sounds of a fist pounding on his door and a throbbing head. Perhaps that last cup of ale had been one too many. He groaned and rolled out of bed, stumbling over to the door and yanked it open. Someone yelped and Loirne squinted into the half-collapsed corridor to find Cassidy standing there.

Cassidy stared at him for a moment and Lorne exhaled.

"What do you want?" he asked, perhaps a little harsly. The young price huffed and backed up a few steps, scowling. Lorne sighed. "Sorry, Cassidy. I don't meant to be short with you."

The younger prince shifted his weight and glanced down the corridor, towards the open space around the campfire that they'd be seated about the night before. He followed the younger prince's gaze down the corridor and then back.

"Sorry, Lorne," the boy said, shifting again. "Didn't mean to wake up...but, uh, there's an important discussion happening out by the firepit."

Lorne eyed him warily for a moment then exhaled heavily. "Alright," he said, inclining his head. "I'll be right out."

"Alright, I'll go find the tea you like."

"Thanks, Cass," he said with a smile. "Promise I won't take too long."

Cassidy nodded and turned to head off down the hall. Lorne watched him for a moment before closing the door and turning to do get dressed properly. He tried to be quick, though, and not take too long. Quickly changed, Lorne headed out into the growing sunlight.

The others were already there, conversing in low voices while Sage loomed over them from atop a nearby, broken building. It was probably once a kitchen or, perhaps, the servants' quarters, but it had honestly been far too long since anyone except perhaps Sage was aware of what the castle had once looked like.

"So," he said, taking a seat between Emyrs and Delwyn. "There's an important discussion going on?"

Delwyn glanced up and nodded, gesturing at the gathered group. "Yes. Islwyn had been sharing some disturbing news with us."

Lorne blinked. That was...new. "Disturbing news?"

"Yes." Delwyn looked to his brother. "Islwyn, if you will."

Islwyn puffed up a little and straightened, eyes going wide. "Ah...er, yeah," he said, fiddling a little. "Um. So, you know how I was hunting dragons? No offence, Sage, I like you."

"None taken," the dragon rumbled, crouching low on the half-ruined building. Islwyn nodded to him and turned to face Lorne again.

"So, yeah. While I was off doing that," he said, twitching a little and accepting the cup of tea that Cassidy handed him with a tiny smile. "I started hearing rumours... M'not sure what's going on, but they seemed...bad."

"Issy," Lorne said quietly, watching his little brother. "What kind of rumours?"

"The kind where someone's raising the dead?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at Issy, Sage included. Lorne blinked slowly, confused. That was...quite the claim to make, and he wasn't sure what to make of that. He silently accepted the cup of tea that Emyrs handed him and stared into the depths of the cup for a long moment before he exhaled and glanced up, meeting his sibling's gaze.

"Necromancy?" he said, breaking the stunned silence. Islwyn nodded. "That's... That--"

"Can't be possible? Hasn't happened in centuries?" Islwyn shrugged. "What can I say? It's just rumour, Lorne. Hearsay." His little brother exhaled and glanced about the circle of princes, and one dragon. "I can't be sure if any of it's true...or not."

"And why is this relevant? I already said I was going to come home, Issy."

Issy huffed and turned the mug in his hands slowly, around and around. "I'm not sure yet, Lorne. I guess that depends on you and the others...on what you all decide to do."

Lorne studied each of his friends closely, frowning slightly. Delwyn wouldn't look at him, wouldn't meet his eyes. Emyrs was gazing back at head steadily. Cassidy was watching Islwyn, who was watching him. And Sage was gazing out over the forest beyond the castle.

"I'm staying," Delwyn anounced, swallowing thickly before sipping his own cup of tea. "I'm...sorry, Lorne. I can't go home. My parents are dead, my siblings are imprisoned and my uncle rules in my stead. I won't start a civil war to claim a throne that I don't want in the first place."

"Understandable," Islwyn said, nodding a little.

"I'll go with you, Issy," Cassidy announced, causing them all to look at him. "What? I'm not staying here. Besides, I'm not even the crown prince of my kingdom. They don't need me, to be honest."

"Ah, I see."

"Emyrs?" Delwyn asked, glancing towards him. Lorne glanced that way, too.

"I'll go with you," Emyrs said quietly. "It's time I went home anyway."

"Sage?"

"Hmm?" the dragon asked, dragging his attention back to the group. Lorne and everyone else stared up at him expectantly. "Oh. Yes, I shall accompany you. I have a feeling that you may need my help." He nodded towards Delwyn. "Delwyn is quite capable of looking after himself. Besides, I believe there is a reason he wishes to stay."

Delwyn raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"Don't worry," Sage told him, tone conspiratorial. "I won't discuss the secrets any of you hold."

"That's reassuring," Delwyn said, sarcastically. He huffed and crossed his arms, having set his tea down. "I suppose I will see you upon your return?"

"Perhaps," the dragon said and then rose up a little. "I sense something. I shall return."

With that said and a great whoosh of air and wing, Sage launched himself into the air. Lorne watched the dragon leave for a moment before dragging his gaze back down to the small group gathered around their fire.

"When do we leave?" he asked, meeting his brother's gaze.

Issy stared back. "As soon as you're ready."

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User avatar
IcyFlame
Review

Hello, I have returned! Back for part two and hopefully part three after this one.

The first section of this felt to me like we were much further through the novel than we actually are. Issy seems really well acquainted with all the characters and I was under the impression he didn't know them before (unless I've missed something which is possible). With how much he'd missed his brother I kinda expected the conversation to be just between the two of them catching up on how much they'd missed from each other's lives. Whilst we do get a snippet of that at the beginning it gets a bit lost as it's not told in real time - does that make sense? I'd love to see more of them reconnecting.

Lorne eyed him warily for a moment then exhaled heavily. "Alright," he said, inclining his head. "I'll be right out."

"Alright, I'll go find the tea you like."

Super nitpicky, but the double alright here felt off.

Lorne blinked. That was...new. "Disturbing news?"

Is this not... the definition of news? That it's new?

"Yes." Delwyn looked to his brother. "Islwyn, if you will."

Also this took me a hot minute because I couldn't work out how Delwyn was suddenly related to them (to the point I skimmed the previous part to work out what I'd missed)until I realised it was reference to the fact Issy is Lorne's brother.

The familiarity between Issy and Sage that comes through also feels more established than I would expect, given how little time they've known each other and the fact that it's a complete shift in tone from the first part. I think it'd probably be even more pronounced without having the break between parts 1 & 2 so might be something to consider.

I can see where we're going with this novel and I like the hints of the quest that have already been put through here, like I am so here for a necromancer dragon battle because I think that's gonna be absolutely epic! I just think that the way Issy brings it up could be strengthened. I didn't see why he hadn't brought it up the night before, and it seemed like a very formal meeting type thing to be called for him to give what felt like a very vague update. I'm not sure if you were trying to downplay the threat intentionally but I think it should either be more of a concern so it seems justified in everyone coming along, or there should be a different reason for them to come with Issy and Lorne. Currently this feels kind of inbetween and it's a little flimsy.

I'm ready for some questing!

Hope this was helpful

Icy

User avatar
kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review · Sat Dec 24, 2022 6:29 am

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! Here we go on part two...let's see how far I manage to get. So far its been pretty interesting so it looks like its going to be decently far...

First Impression: Okayyy well it seems we've got our threat, a decent point to have that thrown in and a bit of a reason for them to all get on the move, so that's all coming along pretty well I think.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Later, when they'd settled down around the fire and caught up a little--Aeron, their eldest sister, was set to marry a noble (a cousin, if Lorne was remembering the family correctly) while Brynn was bethrothed to a princess from a neighbouring kingdom (Cassidy's sister, if Lorne was corrent) along with several other potential issues that had cropped up in the years since Lorne had left. Although, it had been a while since Issy was also home, so that information might have been out of date.

As it was, the fire was warm and the company good, even if the conversation was a little stilted but at least there was conversation.

Lorne was excited to see his sister-turned-brother. Islwyn had had a rough few years after he'd left. A struggle to be recognised as a boy instead of a girl, the years he'd spent searching for Lorne, the four dragons he'd killed during that time. And Lorne had spent the entire time tending gardens or training with the others in a dragon's castle.


OKay that's an interesting little summary there. It comes off a little weird starting a part but I think it would work just fine as part of the bigger chapter. And its a good little sort of note for us readers to try and put some things into perspective so that's lovely.

He sighed, leaning back against the partial rock wall he'd sat down beside and gazed out over the fire and the small group gathered around it. Sage had returned to his usual form and taken up much of the free space in an area where there was room for him.

Firelight reflected off green scales and a giant, red eyes blinked at him. Lorne smiled slightly and turned his attention back to his sibling. Issy was chatting away with Cassidy about some new sword fight technic he'd learnbed from a foreign soldier. They had agreed that they would need to train later.

Lorne fiddled with the mug in his hand, glancing away from them. He could see the affection between them, possibly something that could bloom beyond that. It warmed him to see his little brother getting along with someone else of a similar age, outside of their family.


Okayy well this is continuing to be a pretty sweet scene as well. Its a bit of a change of pace from how most fantasy things usually start with a passage on the big evil king about to kill everybody at least from the things I've read recently, so I'm loving this.

Lorne woke to the sounds of a fist pounding on his door and a throbbing head. Perhaps that last cup of ale had been one too many. He groaned and rolled out of bed, stumbling over to the door and yanked it open. Someone yelped and Loirne squinted into the half-collapsed corridor to find Cassidy standing there.

Cassidy stared at him for a moment and Lorne exhaled.

"What do you want?" he asked, perhaps a little harsly. The young price huffed and backed up a few steps, scowling. Lorne sighed. "Sorry, Cassidy. I don't meant to be short with you."

The younger prince shifted his weight and glanced down the corridor, towards the open space around the campfire that they'd be seated about the night before. He followed the younger prince's gaze down the corridor and then back.


Okayy well we're definitely starting with a lot of interaction with these princes here. Its going to take me a minute to keep everyone straight here, but the fact that their personalities are already pretty easy to distinguish roughly speaking is helping so far.

"Sorry, Lorne," the boy said, shifting again. "Didn't mean to wake up...but, uh, there's an important discussion happening out by the firepit."

Lorne eyed him warily for a moment then exhaled heavily. "Alright," he said, inclining his head. "I'll be right out."

"Alright, I'll go find the tea you like."

"Thanks, Cass," he said with a smile. "Promise I won't take too long."

Cassidy nodded and turned to head off down the hall. Lorne watched him for a moment before closing the door and turning to do get dressed properly. He tried to be quick, though, and not take too long. Quickly changed, Lorne headed out into the growing sunlight.


Oooh this is fun. Important firepit discussions usually do produce some fun moments, and potentially establish deep looming threats that establish premises, so well let's see where this one is headed.

The others were already there, conversing in low voices while Sage loomed over them from atop a nearby, broken building. It was probably once a kitchen or, perhaps, the servants' quarters, but it had honestly been far too long since anyone except perhaps Sage was aware of what the castle had once looked like.

"So," he said, taking a seat between Emyrs and Delwyn. "There's an important discussion going on?"

Delwyn glanced up and nodded, gesturing at the gathered group. "Yes. Islwyn had been sharing some disturbing news with us."

Lorne blinked. That was...new. "Disturbing news?"

"Yes." Delwyn looked to his brother. "Islwyn, if you will."


Ohhh well that probably makes sense, give he is the only one who actually managed to come from somewhere outside enough to have noticed any sort of news from afar. It is interesting that it seems to have taken a minute to be revealed, but it does make sense given they were all so busy just catching up.

"Issy," Lorne said quietly, watching his little brother. "What kind of rumours?"

"The kind where someone's raising the dead?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at Issy, Sage included. Lorne blinked slowly, confused. That was...quite the claim to make, and he wasn't sure what to make of that. He silently accepted the cup of tea that Emyrs handed him and stared into the depths of the cup for a long moment before he exhaled and glanced up, meeting his sibling's gaze.

"Necromancy?" he said, breaking the stunned silence. Islwyn nodded. "That's... That--"


Oooh playing with the dead is always fun. And they also do have something to do with shadows usually so given we already have dragons here...well I might be jumping to conclusions entirely too early here, but well I'm going to run with it until its proven wrong.

"Can't be possible? Hasn't happened in centuries?" Islwyn shrugged. "What can I say? It's just rumour, Lorne. Hearsay." His little brother exhaled and glanced about the circle of princes, and one dragon. "I can't be sure if any of it's true...or not."

"And why is this relevant? I already said I was going to come home, Issy."

Issy huffed and turned the mug in his hands slowly, around and around. "I'm not sure yet, Lorne. I guess that depends on you and the others...on what you all decide to do."


Hmm well that's an interesting way to receive that particular piece of news. Maybe Issy classifying the whole thing as an unconfirmed rumor does something but I feel like there's something in that reaction that's not quite being put out into the open here.

"I'll go with you, Issy," Cassidy announced, causing them all to look at him. "What? I'm not staying here. Besides, I'm not even the crown prince of my kingdom. They don't need me, to be honest."

"Ah, I see."

"Emyrs?" Delwyn asked, glancing towards him. Lorne glanced that way, too.

"I'll go with you," Emyrs said quietly. "It's time I went home anyway."

"Sage?"

"Hmm?" the dragon asked, dragging his attention back to the group. Lorne and everyone else stared up at him expectantly. "Oh. Yes, I shall accompany you. I have a feeling that you may need my help." He nodded towards Delwyn. "Delwyn is quite capable of looking after himself. Besides, I believe there is a reason he wishes to stay."


Okayy well that explains a little there I think, and of course we have ourselves a little questing party being slowly chosen. That style of scene just absolutely never really seems to get old no matter how often it happens.

"That's reassuring," Delwyn said, sarcastically. He huffed and crossed his arms, having set his tea down. "I suppose I will see you upon your return?"

"Perhaps," the dragon said and then rose up a little. "I sense something. I shall return."

With that said and a great whoosh of air and wing, Sage launched himself into the air. Lorne watched the dragon leave for a moment before dragging his gaze back down to the small group gathered around their fire.

"When do we leave?" he asked, meeting his brother's gaze.

Issy stared back. "As soon as you're ready."


Well...that's a lovely ominous little note there. Gotta love a potential chance of someone dying because someone else knows something mysterious and magical and too important to reveal to mere mortals.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, this is building off the first bit quite well. This first chapter is shaping up to be a pretty solid one, we've got a little reunion and some introductions to our characters, and now we have our little quest and the reason to go on it, can't wait to see what more will happen here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry



I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.
— Leslie Knope