Let Me Love You(5)

Heya! I'm back.

Alright, this is going to be a short one. Right now, I think the relationship between Gary and Belle is very odd. I mean, they're best friends, I get it. But kissing each others foreheads, cuddling on the bed and couch. It seems very odd and if Gary liked her but was trying to hid his feelings for her then wouldn't he be trying to ignore her? But then again, he's a perv and likes being touched...LOL. Oh well, still reading and I do like his. Quite addicted at the moment.

Anyway, this was wonderful chapter. Lots of character development along with emotions and deep thoughts. I can see some interaction between Gary and Belle as they're trying to be normal with each other and I like their back thoughts and how real it seems. Good job.

-Shear

Rascalover wrote:Chapter five

Gary was awaken by loud chatter downstairs. His scruffy hair fell into his eyes as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His body was achy, and his head felt like it was pounding on the inside of his skull. Gary slowly ambled down the curved, blue carpeted staircase. Isabella was sitting on the couch while Kevin watched the news.

“Well, good morning sleeping beauty.” Isabella made room for him on the couch.

Gary just nodded as he sat in between them. He gently laid his head on Isabella’s shoulder. She pushed his hair back and felt his head.

“Aw, you poor thing. You have a fever.” She pressed her lips against his forehead.

This made Gary shudder. Her cool lips felt like heaven on his forehead. He closed his eyes for a millisecond and felt at peace. He jerked up when he realized what he was doing. If he stayed like that any longer he would fall back asleep on her shoulder. He couldn’t even hint at the fact that he liked it because she’s smart enough to figure out his feelings for her.

“Oh, well, I’m fine. Have you guys had breakfast?” Gary asked.

“No, but I’ll make us some.” Kevin got up and walked to the kitchen.

After ten or twenty minutes, Kevin yelled into the living room that breakfast was ready. He had made eggs, toast, and some coffee. Gary helped Isabella up and slowly walked her to the kitchen. Gary got them all orange juice. Isabella took her medication and chugged the rest of her orange juice.

After breakfast Kevin went out to visit some friends so for the rest of the day it was just going to be Isabella and Gary, alone.

***

“Want to go out to the dock?” Gary asked after he cleaned up the kitchen.

“Yes, I want out of this house.” Isabella stood up and smiled enthusiastically.

Gary took her hand and led her outside. Fireflies rose in Gary’s stomach as she accepted his hand into hers. Wow, her skin so soft, her touch so gentle. Gary couldn’t look at her as they walked outside.

He was afraid his palms were sweaty and drew back his hand as they sat on the dock. He focused his eyes on the ripple of the water going in and out, instead of her magnificent beauty. It would be horrifying if she saw him drooling over her.

“I think I’ll be looking for a new house soon because I am starting to feel better. So, I won’t be in your hair for long.” Isabella looked at him, searching for a relieved expression on his face, “So, how are you feeling now?”

“I’m glad to hear you’re feeling fine, and Belle you’re not in my hair I like having your company. On the other hand, I’m fine, I just had a little fever. I took some Advil, that’ll keep it down for now.” Gary let out a sigh.

Isabella took a long look at him. What was he thinking? Why did he sigh? Is it something I’m doing?

“So, tomorrow I think I’ll take a look at some houses. I talked with Jay, and he got me an appointment with a real estate agent,” she replied.

Oh, great, she’s talking to Jay. Maybe they’ll just stay friends this time.

“Ok,” Gary said getting quite. (missing a word or two here)

“What is it Gary?” Isabella saw the scrunched expression on his face as a sign of hurt. She watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he slowly replied with deep thought.

“Belle I… no, never mind; I’m fine.” Gary was afraid of telling her how he really felt. If she didn’t feel the same way, things would be different, and he liked the closeness they already shared. So he shut his mouth as he stood up.

“Hey, I have a good idea. Lets go to the park.” Isabella’s eyes lit up.

Is she crazy? The park is full of little kids and couples strolling about. Why would she want to go there?

“Well, if you’re really up for it, but I‘m just saying you were suppose to be on bed-rest.” Gary smiled at Isabella.

She lightly punched him on his arm and jogged towards his yellow Ford truck. Gary walked slowly behind her, and watched her, so happy and bubbly. Her hair was starting to grow back to its full length before the accident. It bounced up and down along her back as she ran away from him. She is so beautiful, Gary jumped into the truck shaking his head and smiling.

No one was at the park when Gary and Isabella got there, and it was a hot, sunny day outside. The perfect ice-cream weather.

“So, what are we doing here?” Gary asked looking around at the empty park.

“Why don’t we swing on the swings over there?” Isabella asked walking fast towards the swings, which were blowing in the wind.

Now I know she has lost her mind. Does she think some one of my size will be willing to swing? I hope it doesn’t break.

“Belle, these are made for little kids.” Gary smiled to himself, as Isabella pumped her legs to make the swing move faster.

I hope he doesn’t think I’m stupid. I just really want him to loosen up.

“Oh, come on; have some fun with me.” She got off the swing and pushed Gary towards a swing next to hers.

“This is crazy.” Gary sat on the swing and thought of a hundred other things he could be doing at that exact moment.

She’s so cute, acting like a child. I wonder what kind of mom she would be.

“You’re crazy.” Isabella stuck her tongue out at him as she got back on her swing.

Isabella had gotten high enough in her swing to jump off, so she gently pushed off and landed on her feet. Gary couldn’t help but double over and laugh at how ridiculous he thought all of this was.

Going over to the bench Isabella was, now, sitting on, Gary said, (that's an awful lot of commas) “You act like a little kid.”

I hope she doesn’t think I’m insulting her; I think it’s cute.

“So, it’s fun. Don’t tell me you have never wondered what it would be like to be a kid again,” she said smirking.

I never did want to grow up. I wonder if Gary knows he’s the first man I ever thought romantically about.

“Yes, I have, but all I want is right here. So no, I wouldn’t want to go back to being a kid. How about we go get some ice cream?” Gary asked wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

I hope Belle doesn’t think I was trying to hit on her. But what if she was ready to move on? What if she had wanted me to?

At the local ice cream parlor Gary got peach ice cream and Isabella got a hot fudge sundae. They went out side (one word) and jumped into the bed of the truck. Isabella sat across from Gary and took a plunge into her ice cream with her spoon.

“Where do you think you’ll want a house? Around here hopefully.” Gary took a bite of his ice cream.

What if she moved out of state? I would most likely never see her again.

“Yes, around here silly. Some where near the diner hopefully,” Isabella replied.

Could I tell him I really was staying because I couldn’t think of ever losing my best friend?

“Oh, yeah, who’s been working the diner while your gone?” Gary asked.

“One of my best employees. Her name is Daisy.” Gary’s cell phone started to ring.

When Gary answered, a smile spread across his face. When he got off the phone he started to chuckle and finished with a bright smile.

“Who was that?” Isabella asked curiously.

Does he have a girlfriend already?

“It was Joe Don telling me he is going to be a daddy.” Gary smiled at the thought of Joe Don becoming a dad; he was so not ready for that.

“Aw, how far along is Destiny?” Isabella asked as Gary got a straight face on.

I can’t believe she’s having a baby. We were suppose to be best friends. We planned on getting married at the same time, like a double wedding. Of course that didn’t happen, and now she’s having a baby.

“Well, Joe Don said about eight weeks, so two months.” Gary jumped out of the truck and threw his cone away. (why didn't he eat it?)
Is she ok? Why has the mood suddenly become melancholy? Destiny having a baby; that was good news, right?

“That is such great news.” Isabella did the same with her cup.

Can he tell that I’m lying?

***

Gary and Isabella rode over to Destiny and Joe Don’s house after going to the store and getting them a card and flowers for Destiny. The lilies were a beautiful shade of deep blue. Every time Isabella looked down at them she was reminded of Gary’s rich eyes.
Gary gently knocked on the door, and when Joe Don answered he said, “Hey, guys come on in.”

“This is for you.” Gary handed Joe Don the card and gave him a ‘man hug’.

“And these are for you.” Isabella handed the flowers to Destiny and hugged her, “I’m so happy for you, congratulations.”

“Aw they’re beautiful, thank you,” Destiny said going over to hug Gary.

“Yeah, thanks guys. I see someone is feeling better.” Joe don hugged Isabella as he drank her with his soothing green eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine, glad to be up and walking about,” she melted in his embrace.

“That’s great, you guys want some thing to drink?” Joe Don asked setting the card on the mantle top.

“No, we just came by to tell you we’re happy for ya’ll. Now we’re going to get out of your hair and let ya‘ll have some alone time.” Gary smirked.

“Alright, you guys take care. We’ll see ya’ll soon,” Destiny said as they left.

The rest of the day Isabella acted strange, and Gary needed to know what it was. She wasn’t happy any more. Once they were home she slumped on the couch and watched the television. She didn’t make any conversation, and when she did it was only one to two word answers.

“Belle what’s wrong? Ever since we found out Joe Don and Destiny were expecting you’ve been acting weird.” Gary said after they had dinner and Isabella was cleaning up in silence.

“Gary, you wouldn’t understand,” she replied drying some dishes.

How could he possibly understand? He could still find the woman of his dreams and settle down with a family. What if Jay had been the one?

“Oh, come on, try me.” Gary pulled Isabella away from the dishes as she started to cry.

This is my friend. How am I going to put back the pieces if she doesn’t even want to tell me what is wrong?

“Belle, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” Gary asked sitting on the couch and holding her.

“Gary, I have always wanted to be a mom, but now that Jay’s gone I don’t know when I’ll be able to find a man I want to start a family with. I thought I was in love with that Jay. Even when we didn’t get along I thought we would work it out. I thought I was destined to marry him and start a family. Once he said he was threw with ‘us’ he ripped away from me tearing the seams of those dreams until they came apart. I know I shouldn’t be like this towards one man so unsure of where he wants to be, but I can’t help it.” Stopping long enough to take a breath, Isabella started to cry again.

She buried her head into a silenced Gary. He had no idea what to say to cheer her up. He wanted to tell her he could be that guy, that he wanted to be that guy. He also knew she wouldn’t go for that. She would think he was crazy and run away. So he kept his mouth shut and rocked Isabella back and forth as she slowly fell asleep in her tears.

Well, I guess I never mentioned anything about description. I'm good at creating images in my head without requiring much descriptive wording.

Thank you

Okay, so, I've been reading your chapters for a while and not commenting, but now I'm going to. :}

I'd just like to say that before, the whole thing where you switched point of views annoyed me. A lot. But this time, when you did what both Gary and Isabelle were thinking, I believe is adorable. I really liked it that time. It was great.

The conversation you create is beautiful, but remember to be descriptive about your surroundings. I know what Isabelle and Gary look like, but what about Kevin? What does the house look like? What did the playground look like? The ice cream shop? The truck? Make sure to create the scene for me so I can see what's going on. Also, work on comma placement.

Well. That's about it.

PM me if you ever want a review on anything.

Love & Blessings,
Aushy

Hello again. Hm, I trying to decide to either post a brief comment of suggestions, or do another long and grueling grammar and content review. Well, I guess I'll go with the latter since I already wrote this stuff down on paper. Try not to fall asleep from reading my insane writing. Wait, how does someone fall asleep reading something insane?

Gary was awakened by loud chatter downstairs. His scruffy hair fell into his eyes as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His body was achy, and his head felt like it was pounding on the inside of his skull. Gary slowly ambled down the curved, blue carpeted staircase. Isabella was sitting on the couch while Kevin watched the news.

This made Gary shudder. Her cool lips felt like heaven on his forehead. He closed his eyes for a millisecond and felt at peace. He jerked up when he realized what he was doing. If he stayed like that any longer he would fall back asleep on her shoulder. He couldn’t even hint at the fact that he liked it because she’s smart enough to figure out his feelings for her.

After ten or twenty minutes, Kevin yelled into the living room that breakfast was ready. He had made eggs, toast, and some coffee.

Gary helped Isabella up and slowly walked her to the kitchen. Gary got them all orange juice. Isabella took her medication and chugged the rest of her orange juice.

Gary took her hand and led her outside. Fireflies rose in Gary’s stomach as she accepted his hand into hers. Wow, her skin so soft, her touch so gentle. Gary couldn’t look at her as they walked outside.

He was afraid his palms were sweaty and drew back his hand as they sat on the dock. He focused his eyes on the ripples of the water going in and out, instead of her magnificent beauty. It would be horrifying if she saw him drooling over her.

Oh, great, she’s talking to Jay. Maybe they’ll just stay friends this time.

“Ok,” Gary said, becoming quite.

“Belle I… no, never mind; I’m fine.” Gary was afraid of telling her how he really felt. If she didn’t feel the same way, things would be different, and he liked the closeness they already shared. So he kept his mouth as he stood up.

Is she crazy? The park is full of little kids and couples strolling about. Why would she want to go there?

“Well, if you’re really up for it, but I‘m just saying you were supposed to be on bed-rest.” Gary smiled at Isabella.

She lightly punched him lightly on his arm and jogged towards his yellow Ford truck. Gary walked slowly behind her, and watched her, so happy and bubbly. Strange word choice. Her hair was starting to grow back to its full length before the accident. It bounced up and down along her back as she ran away from him. She is so beautiful, Gary thought, jumping into the truck shaking his head and smiling.

No one was at the park when Gary and Isabella got there, and it was a hot, sunny day outside. The perfect ice-cream weather.

Now I know she has lost her mind. Does she think someone of my size will be willing to swing? If I do wouldn't it break?

I hope he doesn’t think I’m stupid. I just really want him to loosen up, Isabella thought, watching Gary's expression. “Oh, come on; have some fun with me.” She got off the swing and pushed Gary towards a swing next to hers.

She’s so cute, acting like a child. I wonder what kind of mom she would be.

I hope she doesn’t think I’m insulting her; because I think it’s cute.

“So, it’s fun. Don’t tell me you've I combined "you" and "have" never wondered what it would be like to be a kid again,” she said smirking.

I never did want to grow up. I wonder if Gary knows he’s the first man I ever thought romantically about.

At the local ice cream parlor Gary got peach ice cream, and Isabella got a hot fudge sundae. They went out side and jumped into the bed of the truck. Isabella sat across from Gary and took a plunge into her sundae with her spoon.

What if she moved out of state? I would probably never see her again.

“Yes, around here silly. Some where near the diner hopefully,” Isabella replied.

Could I tell him I really was staying, because I couldn’t think of ever losing my best friend?

Does he have a girlfriend already?

“It was Joe Don telling me he is going to be a father.” Gary smiled at the thought of Joe Don becoming a dad; he on the other hand, was so not ready for that.

“Well, Joe Don said about eight weeks, so two months.” Gary jumped out of the truck and threw his cone away.

Is she OK? Why has the mood suddenly become melancholy? Destiny having a baby; that was good news, right?

Can he tell that I’m lying?

Gary gently knocked on the door.

Joe Don answered and said, “Hey, guys come on in.”

“And these are for you.” Isabella handed the flowers to Destiny and hugged her saying, “I’m so happy for you, congratulations.”

“Aw, they’re beautiful, thank you,” Destiny said going over to hug Gary.

“Yeah, thanks guys. I see someone is feeling better.” Joe don hugged Isabella as he drank her with his soothing green eyes.

“That’s great, you guys want something to drink?” Joe Don asked setting the card on the mantle top.

“No, we just came by to tell you we’re happy for ya’ll. Now we’re going to get out of your hair and let ya‘ll have some alone time,” Gary said smirking.

The rest of the day Isabella acted strange, and Gary needed to know what it was. She wasn’t happy any more. Once they were home all she did was lay on the couch and watch the television. She didn’t make any conversation, and when she did it was only one to two word answers.

“Belle what’s wrong? Ever since we found out Joe Don and Destiny were expecting you haven't been acting like yourself,” Gary said after they had dinner and Isabella was cleaning up in silence.

How could he possibly understand? He could still find the woman of his dreams and settle down with a family. What if Jay had been the one?

“Oh, come on, try me.” Gary pulled Isabella away from the dishes as she started to cry.

This is my friend. How am I going to put the pieces back together if she doesn’t even want to tell me what is wrong?

“Belle, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” Gary asked, sitting on the couch and holding her.

She buried her head into the silent Gary. He had no idea what to say to cheer her up. He wanted to tell her he could be that guy,(That comma is not needed) that he wanted to be that guy. He also knew she wouldn’t go for that. She would think he was crazy and run away. So he kept his mouth shut and rocked Isabella back and forth as she cried herself to sleep.

Hola!! I loved your story- everything flows perfectly from one peice to the next, and it's not an overly-confusing plot-line.
but, when you have Gary then Belle thinking, right after eachother, the story doesn't flow as well. It is understandable but it threw me off for just a second.

Thansk for the review:)

thanks for the review:)

Hi rascalover! Kat's here -- as requested! I haven't read the above reviews, so if I repeat anything I'm sorry.

Nit-picks:

Gary was awaken by loud chatter downstairs. His scruffy hair fell into his eyes as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

Isabella made room for him on the couch.

If he stayed like that any longer he would fall back asleep on her shoulder. He couldn’t even hint at the fact that he liked it because she’s smart enough to figure out his feelings for her.

Gary helped Isabella up and slowly walked her to the kitchen. Gary got them all orange juice. Isabella took her medication and chugged the rest of her orange juice.

After breakfast Kevin went out to visit some friends so for the rest of the day it was just going to be Isabella and Gary, alone.

“Want to go out to the dock?” Gary asked after he cleaned up the kitchen.

“Hey, I have a good idea. Lets go to the park.” Isabella’s eyes lit up.

Now I know she has lost her mind. Does she think some one of my size will be willing to swing? I hope it doesn’t break.

“Belle, these are made for little kids.” Gary smiled to himself, as Isabella pumped her legs to make the swing move faster.

I hope he doesn’t think I’m stupid. I just really want him to loosen up.

“Oh, yeah, who’s been working the diner while your gone?” Gary asked.

Joe don hugged Isabella as he drank her with his soothing green eyes.

Hey thanks very good info !

Hello, sorry for the very late review @_@
The others already picked out most of the critiques, so mine won't be as long.

Gary slowly ambled down the curved, blue carpeted staircase.

Gary helped Isabella up and slowly walked her to the kitchen. Gary got them all orange juice.

No one was at the park when Gary and Isabella got there, and it was a hot, sunny day outside.

working the diner while your gone?

“One of my best employees. Her name is Daisy.” Gary’s cell phone started to ring.

Best chapter yet! Especially it ends so well, the last line so descriptive. Again, a few grammatical errors, read it through and you'll find them, but I think the people before me were so thorough that I have no complaints. I would suggest trying to add a little complexity to your writing style if you know what i mean, just more description basically. Despite that I'm getting so hooked to the story line and will review the next chapter when I have a chance. You're going to need to start writing quicker, in comparison to my reviews

Thank you im so glad you like it

This chapter is just as wonderful as the first! It's amazing. You're confusing me, though. You say Isabella has had romantic feelings for Gary, but then she's breaking down crying because she thought Jay was, "the one." Does she like him, or not. (This isn't as bad as when you're trying to figure out what a guy thinks of you, however. You might as well walk up to an elephant and ask what he's thinking. At least you'll be less confused at the end.) So just try to keep it continuous. If she likes him, she likes him. If she doesn't, she doesn't.
I absolutely loved how you did Gary and Isabella's thoughts in this chapter. You should go back and add that into some of your previous chapters.
I still think it's wonderful, and you are portraying the whole oh-crap-we're-in-love-but-we're-best-friends-what-do-we-do? story line quite well. Keep up the great work!

Thanks so much

Hi there, Rascalover! I like Rascal Flatts too

OK, now onto the review.

Nit- picks

His scruffy hair fell into his eyes, as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

Gary slowly walked down the blue carpeted, curved staircase.

Isabella was sitting on the couch with Kevin watching the news.

This made Gary shutter.

Her cool lips felt like heaven on his forehead. He closed his eyes for a millisecond and felt at peace. He jerked up when he realized what he was doing.

After ten or twenty minutes Kevin yelled into the living room that breakfast was ready.

He focused his eyes on the ripple of the water going in and out, instead of her magnificent beauty.

“I’m glad to hear your feeling fine, and Belle your not in my hair I like having your company.

I took some advil,

She watched his adam’s apple bob up and down as he slowly replied with deep thought.

If she didn’t feel the same way things would be different, and he liked the closeness they already shared.

Isabella eyes lightened up.

“Well, if you’re really up for it, but I‘m just saying you were suppose to be on bed-rest.” Gary smiled at Isabella.

She lightly punched him in his arm and jogged towards his yellow ford truck.

Her hair was slightly growing back to its full length before the accident.

Isabella asked walking fast towards the swings blowing in the air.

“Your crazy.”

I wonder if Gary knows he’s the first man I ever though romantically about.

When Gary answered it a smile spread across his face.

When he got off the phone he sort of laughed and smiled at the same time.

Why has the mood soundly become melancholy?

“Yeah, thanks guys. I see some one is feeling better.”

This was my friend. How was I going to put back the pieces if she didn’t even want to tell me what was wrong?

Stopping long enough to take a breath Isabella started to cry again.