Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
Chicago Chapter 6
Tiffany pulled the covers away and made her way to the bathroom without opening her eyes. Why couldn't she take days off from pregnancy? Why was vomiting apart of her vacation? Without turning the lights on, Tiffany sat on the toilet with the trashcan in between her knees. This had been her life for the last twelve weeks. The night before she had fallen back to sleep on the toilet and woken up with a bruise along her forehead from the trash can. She still hadn't told Gary, and she had passed the deadline for an abortion in the state of Tennessee.
Procrastination was always Tiffany's forte. She enjoyed the rush of pushing everything into the last second. This wasn't one of those times. She hadn't had another sonogram or doctor's visit since the one at the free women's clinic, but she swore to herself she could feel every flip, bump, and kick her fetus made. Just out of her first trimester, she wasn't entirely sure that was possibly, but Tiffany was sure she could hear a fetus screaming, begging, pleading for their life in her nightmares.
She stood up and pulled her shirt up. A little bump was pushing over her waistline. It was hard and round to the touch. She closed her eyes and made a conscious decision to definitely tell Gary. He needed to know he had a child on the way; he deserved to know she was planning on keeping the baby. Just the thought of Gary made the bile in her stomach rise and push past her lips.
Breakfast was light, nothing, as she picked up from the week and called Gary's cellphone a dozen times. She didn't want to leave a voicemail in case Tara looked through his phone. She was sure he wasn't answering because he didn't want to get caught. Tiffany could still feel his hot breath on her skin and was certain he loved her as much as she loved him.
She starred at her phone for a few minutes getting lost in thought. That night started out just like any other. The kids had gone to bed, Joe Don and Angel were in bed, and Tiffany had the night to herself. As long as she was back in the morning, no one ever missed her. The cool ground felt gritty on her naked feet, the street lamp was going to tell on her, and her eyes couldn't adjust in time to find his bus door; but, when Gary came walking out of his bus in just a pair of gray sweatpants, Tiffany's heart jumped through her throat.
“Come on in. I thought you'd never come.” Gary held the door open as she slinked behind him, closing her eyes and allowing his scent to flow through her nostrils, sweat, musk, and woods.
“Shhhh, it takes time to get three toddlers to bed.” Tiffany giggled as she turned to make sure the door didn't slam behind her.
Gary's bus was quiet and dark with a candle lit on the small pullout table and light music playing on an iPod. Tiffany could smell his desire in the air, feel the sexual tension that had been built up over the last month or so. Tara's perfume and home cooking filled the tour bus with a heavenly scent, but Tiffany thanked God she had finally went home with the girls; the aching in between her legs hadn't stopped since Tara had gotten there.
Tiffany turned around to head to the back bedroom, but Gary was quick in kissing her neck and roaming his hands up her shirt. A whisper of I need you and Tiffany had all of her clothes off straddling a shirtless Gary.
“I don't have any condoms. You're on the pill, right?” Gary asked in between his lips smacking against her smooth skin.
“Of course.” Tiffany reached down for Gary's belt buckle, thinking, what's the pill?
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
I've made it to Chapter Six!
I'm going to agree with everything King mentioned. I too noticed the peculiar spelling during this sentence:
So, "starred" should become "stared." Also, I like what King mentioned about having more than one thought, but if you would prefer to keep it as thought, perhaps you could change the wording a bit to something like:
You don't have to use that particular wording, but anything along those lines might sound a bit better.
Every time I read this story, I find myself wishing that the chapters were longer. I have become completely engrossed in this story, and I would like to thank you for the updates, even though you haven't been receiving very many reviews (Which, by the way, is completely absurd. This is incredible). I assure you that once Chapter Seven is released, I will be here as soon as I see it in my feed (perhaps you could notify me?).
Keep writing, my friend.
-Sis
You're amazing!!! Thanks so much!!
No problem
I only speak the truth.
Okay, they are finished. The last part is surely with 100 warnings xD
Anyways, I am here as I understood that you had released this part already. How do you do it so fast, I do not know, man. Anyways, I really liked this part and this time I found maybe nothing wrong with it. I only found my hopes for Tiffany to tell Gary the truth finally. I think it is really better for every each of them. Even if Gary may be totally shocked by that fact. If he asked is she is on pills, that means he does not want to make babies with her but this is kinda something that already happened, dear Gary. Only one or two things I want to point out and this is all for this part. Keep on writing!
It needs to be 'stared', not 'started'. I think so.
Also, I think it's pretty much better to say 'thoughts'.
Because, person is lost in thoughts not in only one though.
In the beggining you had said 'had done to bed',
so 'Joe Don and Angel were in bed' is kind of odd. It is like you are telling us they are in the bed, in the damn furniture. If you mean that they are sleeping, use 'Joe Don and Angel went to bed'
Also, 'Tiffany had the night to herself'.
In this sentence 'to' needs to be 'for'.
Thanks!
Welcome.