Chicago Chapter 5

Chicago chapter five

Watching the other cars whirl passed him and the wind in his face, caused Gary to feel sick. Rolling up his window, he leaned his seat all the way back. “Are you going the speed limit? I feel like we're flying.”

“Yes, I am. Maybe the next time you'll think twice about going to the open bar at a wedding.” Tara smirked as she switched lanes on the highway.

“It was free alcohol. No one would turn that down.” Gary leaned his chair forward and danced his fingers along the inside of Tara's thigh. 'The girls will be asleep when we get home.”

“And, the babysitter will be wide awake. Try to be decent. You were so rude to her this afternoon.” Tara tried holding his hand in hers to keep those long, swirling fingers away.

“She's just a babysitter, and I was not rude. How was I rude?” Gary took his hand away and rubbed his temples.

“You didn't even acknowledge her. She was standing right in front of you and you didn't even greet her. It's not like you don't know who she is. I'm sure you've seen her on tour when she's out with Joe Don and Angel.” Tara glanced at him, quickly returning her eyes to the road.

“Look, I don't know her that well. I might see her on Joe don's bus, but we're both working. We don't have time to socialize. You hired the babysitter, you take care of the babysitter.” Gary picked Tara's purse up from the floor of the backseat and started rummaging through.

“I won't argue with you while you've been drinking, but you were rude. The Advil is in the side pocket and I still have some water in my water bottle in the middle console.” Tara pulled into the exit lane and swiftly got off the free.

Gary opened the Advil and took out six, drinking them down with the swig of water Tara had left over from her morning run. “You're taking too many; you should only take four.”

“Hey, no arguing remember: I'm drunk.” Gary laughed at Tara's frown and kissed her neck.

“And, remember, I also said you can't get handsy in front of the babysitter.” Tara pulled into the garage and turned off the car.

“Oh, she's already seen-” Catching himself, Gary pretended to be asleep, before finishing the last of his sentence.

“Oh, no you don't. What did you say?” Tara shut the garage door with the opener and peered down at Gary cracking his eyes open.

“I didn't say anything. Must have been dreaming.” Gary opened the car door and walked around to open Tara's.

“This is finished for now, but I will be asking you about it in the morning.” Tara swung the door open herself and shut it, almost catching Gary's fingers along with it.

When they walked in, Tiffany was at the kitchen table reading. She immediately shut the book and placed it in her purse.

“Hey! Did you guys have fun?” Tiffany stood up, pushed in her chair, and swung her purse over her shoulder.

“Yes, I think someone had a little too much fun. Here's what we owe you for the night. Thank you so much for coming over. I'm sure we'll hear about all the fun you had, in the morning. Be safe going home.” Tara walked Tiffany to the door and watched her get into her car.  

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
FatCowsSis
Review

Hello there! Chapter Five! I'm practically oozing with excitement! Let's get on to it!
(have you noticed these opening things are getting shorter and shorter?)

This was a rather humorous chapter. I particularly enjoyed the following.

“Oh, she's already seen-” Catching himself, Gary pretended to be asleep, before finishing the last of his sentence.
I see King has already commented on this section, but this was great! I just don't really understand how pretending to be asleep solves any problems here :P
“Oh, no you don't. What did you say?” Tara shut the garage door with the opener and peered down at Gary cracking his eyes open.

And this response? So perfectly accurate. I commend you.

I'm sure you've seen her on tour when she's out with Joe Don and Angel.” Tara glanced at him, quickly returning her eyes to the road.

“Look, I don't know her that well. I might see her on Joe don's bus, but we're both working.

In this part here, You capitalized the d initially, but the second time it was mentioned it was lowercase. You may want to go back and change one of them to match the other.

I cannot believe this story is getting this few reviews! I sincerely hope that will change. This story is incredible. I'll see you in a bit for Chapter Six!
Keep writing, my friend.
-Sis

User avatar
bloodstring
Comment

Well,I think it's pretty good.I am trying to write a short story here but I am not getting anywhere.Why don't you continue.You will be great.

User avatar
Elijah
Review
Elijah wrote a review · Thu Apr 28, 2016 1:39 pm

King Here

And here we are looking at the fifth part of this amazing story! I really want you to continue it!
;-;)) pwuse du itttt
I will review this last part, but this feeling of it being 'last', hurts me. But I will still try to be helpful. I will be giving my opinion honestly as always. I can not believe that this work and the previous fourth part had zero reviews. The first three parts were full of short,long and what more review and these two were loners. I do not accept it. So I am glad you asked me to check them out. Well, you asked for the fist part, but I can not leave my job unfinished like only reviewing the first part, this makes no sense for me, duh.
I see that you rotate whose point of view each time. Interesting choice. You let me stay curious again, ha?

Watching the other cars whirl passed him and the wind in his face, was the cause that made him feel sick. Rolling up his window, he leaned his seat all the way back. “Are you going the speed limit? I feel like we're flying.”

--

“It was free alcohol. No one would turn that down.” Gary leaned his chair forward and danced his fingers along the inside of Tara's thigh. "The girls will be asleep when we get home.”

--

“Look, I don't know her that well. I might see her on Joe Don's bus, but we're both working. We don't have time to socialize. You hired the babysitter, you take care of the babysitter.” Gary picked Tara's purse up from the floor of the backseat and started rummaging through.

“I won't argue with you while you are totally drunk, but you were rude. The Advil is in the side pocket and I still have some water in my water bottle in the middle console.” Tara pulled into the exit lane and swiftly got off the free.

--

{This part killed me!Gary you dead.}

“Oh, no, you don't. What did you say?” Tara shut the garage door with the opener and peered down at Gary cracking his eyes open.

{such a big purse she has to put a book in it}


Again saying, thank you for letting me read this story and its parts. Good job.

Wow, thank you so much for all the great reviews! You totally kept me encouraged to write more!!

Wow, thank you so much for all the great reviews! You totally kept me encouraged to write more!!

No problem, I hope I see your next part soon.



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