Cold steel upon flesh
the harbinger of peace buries into your wrist and the pure ichor of the unholy drains away
The dark light of death casts its eye on you and you expect peace, you expect happiness, finally away from the damned earth, full of puppets, marionettes, with painted masks and wooden flesh
But the dark light turns away, the light of heaven vanishes and you face a hell all to real to be called earth.
You were wrong
The pure ichor, the unmasked puppet, the square block in the round peg that was you, had no right to leave.
You should have stayed
instead you closed your eyes and took a leap of faithlessness with faith that the only way to end the torture and find peace was to hurt, cut, hit, claw, tear at yourself until the dream you had of peace enveloped you in a world of pain
And now it's too late
The pure gold ichor of vanity has consumed you and the heartless marionettes march on
through the cut marks on your wrist, storming through your skin, stamping your body into the memories of sorrow that no will ever remember, and the all powerful god that is now draws on them to leave you in dust, for they are blinded by the stars in their eyes
and now you
you, cast into the dark with no intention of returning, must come back
You will be the puppet maker, you will be the dark light of the unworthy with everything to lose, but nothing to gain, you will be the leader
So stand up, your vain less blood regained through the black magic of wakening, for the dream of worthlessness is over, the murky pool of ultimately only regret has been drained leaving nothing in its wake.
So stand up you worthy god, defeater of the beast desire. Take up the rightful place you have strayed from in your vain attempts to seek the stone cold peace you thought to be death
So stand up and take your post as leader of the heartless, the damned that we call humans. The cold metal harbinger has been lifted and the valleys of death upon your skin sealed away. Don't let the unworthy judges bring down your world, you are perfect because you are you, you are all you need to be and all you need to please.
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Oh my absolute goodness. I'd be a liar if I said I weren't jealous.
I loved your choice in vocabulary. It put an interesting picture in my mind and encouraged me to really think about what I was reading; I got to feel the poem, not just read it. I especially like how you could have just written everything bluntly, but instead you chose to twist everything around in a sort of metaphor and it was exciting to be a part of, even if I'm only the reader. You have a gift.
thank you
Hey !
This indeed is splendid. Mate, you're 14 and you can write something so well as this, incredible.
I loved "the pure ichor" throughout the poem. And I loved the poem even more towards the end. I could sense drama, passion and power all along.
I can not say more, just marvelous. It's my favourite for the day.
Cheers
- Cavalin
thanks so much
*goosebumps* This is amazing. Just.....wow. I can only hope to write poems as good as this one day.
There are a few typo errors though:
"...the light of heaven vanishes and you face a hell all TOO real to be called earth."
"instead you closed your eyes and..." --> Shouldn't the I in 'instead' be capitalized or was it intentional?
"...your vain less blood..." --> vainless? (conjoined)
Also, many of the sentences don't end with a full stop. But perhaps that's intentional as well xD
This is a great poem...it's painful yet steadfast in so many different levels. And this is relatable to a certain extent because I was there, but I got out of it. I pray that you will too. <3
Thank you for the review. I did intentionally leave the sentences open, but I was meaning to capitalize the start of each phrase so.... gonna have to fix that
. Thanks again for the review and no, I am not going through depression nor do I want to have that experience.