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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Thanks for all the input. I skipped over Tonyas chapter because I could't get it right. I've written it, but it neds major tweaking.
I love this story! Its really good, At first I thought it was one of those boy fights off brainless girl thing. Then with the healing powers and ghost boy. What intrigues me is the girl Tonya,how did she get there? We don't anything about her I'm intrested to see how this character will progress along with this story. I think you picked out really cool powers for these characters these powers fit their attitude and everything in this story falls into place. Though what I don't get is in chapter 4 is it seems like there riding a school bus. How does he stay out of his body any hour when hes going to school? Does he live very far away from the school or something please explain this my poor confused little brain.
-Windy
Helleo! Thanks for the PM. Love the story so far! Okay onto the review!
Wouldn't he dress slowly if his head was spinning?
Comma should be quetion mark, the "h" in he should be capitaled and i liked the poking part!
Quiet should be quite, you're should be your.
Question mark not period.
Comma should be a question mark, after spider.
Comma between ok and so.
Your should be you're.
Comma not period after sorcerer.
Shouldn't it be scalding instead of scolding?
Comma between from and I.
Period after left.
Comma after Fox.
Comma after well and them.
Period between Krone and I'm.
This sounds kinda weird. Try changing it to 'Tonya pondered out loud.'
Comma not period.
Uhhh. No quotation mark.
No comma.
Comma between blond and quotation mark after blonds. Plus shouldn't blonds be blondes?
Anyways good chapter as always!