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140,667 Literary Works • 673,586 Reviews
Yay!
Chapter 5 is out. It was good but kinda short. Are you still going the two chapter per person thing? I'm guessing that the person Sean called was the lady at the house right? With Ethan? Can't wait to read the next chapter. I suppose I'll do the nitpicks then.
Comma between crying and Demetre.
Uncapitalize the A in aunt and it's a comma not a period.
Period not comma.
Period not comma.
"I'm sad, really I am."
"I can't believe I'm doing this."
upward, grabbing
Comma not period. Uncapitalize P in pulling
Kinda confusing. I think you meant after not needing to?
Your clothes.
That is it i found. Good job. Love the story so far. PM when you post more.
-Storm
fianlly, i have been waiting for this.
Very good. I would comment on grammar but well i am the opposite of expert on that. It gave me a breath of mystery, with a mix of deja vu. I like the whole power thing and how you introduce them as knowing how to use them in a way. must discover them and then have no control. Or at least the ones i have read. This lets you skip the whole intro learn more learn more learn more (on the powers.) and get to more of the plot.