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I don't Like this

by Persistence


I don't Like thisĀ 



Some people hate rhymes, others despise their absence

Some people hate it when I try to use various accents

But if there is one thing that irritates me the most

It's when people "Like" their own comments and posts


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Fri Dec 04, 2015 9:57 pm
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Charm says...



This is amazing CandyWizard! :) I totally relate to this poem.




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Fri Dec 04, 2015 5:28 pm
groganbabygirl wrote a review...



Good work here! Totally relatable! The shortness of this piece really makes it effective. It is rather random and choppy in its thought process, although I believe you did that purposefully. Punctuation at the end of your lines would make this piece more grammatically stable though. Great work! Keep it up!

groganbabygirl




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Tue Oct 13, 2015 10:12 am
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TheShauzer wrote a review...



Hey CandyWizard, TS here reviewing.

I appreciate what you did here and think that it is a little funny, but I think it could be a lot better. In saying that, if you made it more complex then it might not have thirty-seven likes, since it's because this is so simple that it's nice. But if it were me I wouldn't be totally satisfied with the piece.

I just think it's so random and the lines aren't connected; I have no problem being thrown into a person's world, completely foreign, but here it's just so strange. It's like if a stranger came to you on the street and said "I don't like pineapple." It's just like... okay. But maybe if you added in a little more... I don't mean to ruin the simplicity, I just don't like the simplicity :')

I'm sorry if you don't like my advice, but at least it's an honest opinion ;) I just think you should try to add some more. Sorry i couldn't offer much more either, short piece. Short and sweet. You know how to work that golden star! Something I'm not great at, so kudos on that ;)

Yours in ink,
TS.




Persistence says...


Sometimes fewer words can express a lot ;)

Thanks for reviewing!



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Sun Oct 11, 2015 9:55 pm
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Hattable says...



37 likes? O.o

What happened to not liking this?! XP







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Sat Oct 10, 2015 8:33 pm
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yellow says...



Have you realized that the first person to like this Literary work is you?




Persistence says...


Yeah, it was intentional. ;)



yellow says...


A bit hypocritical, I must say.



Persistence says...


For real now, are you being serious?



TheShauzer says...


Oh Jesus :')



Willard says...


Don't worry, some people don't understand the art of being meta.



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Sat Oct 10, 2015 3:09 am
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jayflames1 says...



true




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Fri Oct 09, 2015 4:51 pm
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TahaT11n wrote a review...



Hey, candy...it's the first time I am reading your writing.

That's great! The greatest! Honesty is flowing through it. To point out a very common and not so good characteristic of human beings in such a poetic way is something that only a genius can do...

I loved it, liked it.. Laughed a lot after reading it. I realized that you had to go through quite a lot of "pera" ( trouble, mendokusai etc. in Bangla) and wrote it..

I tell you, your "pera" feeling did end up in something good.

I want more of your writing like this one..




Persistence says...


Thank you so much! These are very kind and encouraging words indeed. ^^



TahaT11n says...


You're welcome, candy



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Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:07 pm
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GeeLyria says...



I never "like" my own posts, bro!




Persistence says...


You're awesome ^^



GeeLyria says...


<3!



Persistence says...


#FF4000 ">%u2665



Persistence says...


That was supposed to be a heart xD



GeeLyria says...


I'll take it xD



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Wed Oct 07, 2015 12:18 pm
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DrFeelGood says...



And the very first person liking your poem is ... ;)




Persistence says...


;)


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deleted21 says...


:o I DIDN'T NOTICE IT!

HOW COULD YOU?!



Persistence says...


It was supposed to be part of the joke XD
I even liked my own wall post that linked to this poem >.>



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Wed Oct 07, 2015 12:13 pm
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deleted21 says...



XD

But, Wizi, to be really honest with you, I was thinking of doing that lately (liking my own stuff :P ) But now when you've written this,

THAT IS A COMPLETE NO-NO!




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Tue Oct 06, 2015 3:12 pm
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TwilightMuse says...



Oh my goodness this was great! Short, sweet and to the point. This is also a pet peeve of mine, you posted it, you obviously like it right?

But if there is one thing that irritates me the most, It's when people "Like" their own comments and posts
This is by far my favorite half of the poem. It just SOUNDS so irritated and a little sardonic. Very well done and sorry for the short review!




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Tue Oct 06, 2015 3:12 pm
TwilightMuse says...



Oh my goodness this was great! Short, sweet and to the point. This is also a pet peeve of mine, you posted it, you obviously like it right?

But if there is one thing that irritates me the most, It's when people "Like" their own comments and posts
This is by far my favorite half of the poem. It just SOUNDS so irritated and a little sardonic. Very well done and sorry for the short review!




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Tue Oct 06, 2015 3:12 pm
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TwilightMuse wrote a review...



Oh my goodness this was great! Short, sweet and to the point. This is also a pet peeve of mine, you posted it, you obviously like it right?

But if there is one thing that irritates me the most, It's when people "Like" their own comments and posts
This is by far my favorite half of the poem. It just SOUNDS so irritated and a little sardonic. Very well done and sorry for the short review!




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Tue Oct 06, 2015 11:19 am
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GLaDOS says...



Candy...

People just want to be noticed sometimes...

;~;




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Tue Oct 06, 2015 2:59 am
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Steggy wrote a review...



Hello!

Stegosaurus here for a review!

This is a funny poem. I think most people could relate to it since most people have written a poem and tried to do the things that you have written in here. Also it is short; most short poems are the hardest to do find mistakes (to me that is) yet if you read between the lines, you see the meaning and the corrections.

For this review, I am going by stanzas (which is four stanza or lines.. or something):

Some people hate rhymes, others despise their absence


I feel like this is a weak beginning however it seems to prove a point to the reader when they read this. For this beginning, I would try doing something with imagery or something to make it grab the reader when they read it- almost like a hook or something. Also it seems the narrator is saying that most people don't like rhymes and some hate their absence. I feel it contradicts to make an ironic state of mind, which could be related to some people.

If I must say, this poem reminds me of a poem I read in English once (I don't remember the title D:) but the narrator was saying that poetry isn't a suit for all but can make them realize their life when reading it. To me, these poem is doing the same thing- it is showing that people do these things without even realizing it.

Some people hate it when I try to use various accents


This line confuses me and delights me in the same way. It confuses me since it doesn't make all that sense since should the reader read it as with an accent or something or maybe proving a point, but misworded it. It delighted me since, again, people can relate to what you written. I would try re-reading it again to make more sense of it since to me, it just confusing.

But if there is one thing that irritates me the most


I would suggest here putting this into separate stanzas since it would get the vibe of humorous or easier to read. However, you can leave it the way it is- up to you!

It's when people "Like" their own comments and posts


I don't think you need the quotation marks around like because that is the only thing that is making the reader read it. Also it seems to come short of ending; I suggest writing two more stanzas for this poem since it doesn't seem to come close or anything.

Overall, this is a funny poem that most people can relate to. I enjoyed reading it and I hope to read more of you work!

If you want me to go over anything, let me know!

Steggy




Persistence says...


Thank you for this lengthy review. I appreciate every word of it!



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Tue Oct 06, 2015 2:45 am
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WritingWolf79 wrote a review...



Hello Candy!
This is my first review ever, so bare with me please O_O

Let me start by say that I usually don't like shorter poems like this, unless there is some little punch line or twist that I can be like "AH I see what you did there." Your poem had that, so kudos to you.

I love how you sort of nailed a few types of readers who view some writing with negativity. For instance:

"Some people hate rhymes, others despise their absence,"

That second one you described... yep that's me...

"Some people hate it when I try to use various accents."

Eheheh even though I'm not one of those people (yes I think adding accents shows personality and tone in poems), I still appreciate that you pointed it out.

"But if there is one thing that irritates me the most / It's when people "Like" their own comments and posts."

See I didn't even realize that you even liked your own poem until someone else did below (SHOUTOUT TO MERGSWORD AHHH!). So I thought that you were really clever to do that. It was clever, and I enjoy it when people are clever and witty.

The only thing is that (even though I know this is supposed to be a short poem) I wanted another stanza. Things that are that short seem to lack something for me? Maybe I want you to get into the nitty gritty and keep SHOWING me more and GIVING me more than just four lines. Point out to me more people that specifically hate certain things about poetry and publishing their own things and stuff. But even then, it is your poem and you made it short for a reason.

Keep it up :) 4/5




Persistence says...


Hey there, Writing! I am really happy that you chose my poem as the first work that you've reviewed. And it is a really good review, you say what you like and what you didn't and you state your reasons. This is what every review should be like. Again, thanks!



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Tue Oct 06, 2015 12:32 am
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Swordfish wrote a review...



Hello CandyWizard!
It's MergSword here with a review!

I absolutely loved this poem. It's humorous, and really short, which makes it easy on readers.
I read few poems that rhyme, which is why I'm a fan of this, because hey, what's a humorous poem without a rhyme, it's like peanut butter without jelly, it just really doesn't feel complete.

To me it seems like we get few humorous poems, here and there sure we do, but I think we should definetley get a few new humorous poems, like this one.

I had to reread the line and poem a few times to comprehend what the lien meant. Then I finally figured it out. You don't like this. As in you didn't click like. But wait, clever boy, you did like your own work!

I really don't get the various accents part, was I supposed to read that line in an accent?

Anyway you did a great job! Hooray for humorous poems! Keep on writing! And stay cool!

~MergSword




Persistence says...


Thank you! A really encouraging review. ^^



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Mon Oct 05, 2015 7:35 pm
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ticktock123 wrote a review...



Hi CandyWizard!
I really liked your poem! Mostly because it was so short and catchy. Its really easy to read and compared to other poems which are like 5 pages long, this one doesn't discouraged readers from reading until the end.... It also gets your point across a lot more effectively, although I guess loads of people say you can't exactly express everything you want to in such a short poem.

Anyway, I like the rhyming, especially since it's just 4 lines long; it really ties it together.
I found the poem really funny and witty - because of the overall message I guess and I really loved the way it referred directly to poetry and writing etc... which made it even funnier because this was a poem in itself. On a completely other perspective - I guess I kind of saw this as a metaphor for life itself. People hate each other because "things" they do are annoying, like the "various accents" you referred to, and the difference in opinions that you come across. But the last line is great, because it brings to surface the truth of the shallowness of people, and how desperate we all are to appear liked and wanted I guess. But that was just my own interpretation... I don't know how you meant this poem to sound like.

If there was one thing I wasn't mad on, it was the title. I don't exactly get it and I don't think it fits with the wittiness of the poem.

Really liked it overall!
Tick tock




Persistence says...


Thank you so much for your great review! It truly helps me to see the way you interpreted this poem.

I'm not sure if you saw, but I "liked" it straight after posting it; I thought it would be funny to write about something like this, and then doing the opposite of what I'm saying. xD


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ticktock123 says...


No I hadn't seen! But yeah that makes so much more sense - really clever.



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Tuesday says...



I LOVE THIS!




Persistence says...


Thanks! ^^



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Mon Oct 05, 2015 7:30 pm
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deleted5 says...



I don't like this




Persistence says...


xD



basia77201 says...


thats strict



deleted5 says...


Image
I don't like this



Persistence says...


Y u do dis ;-;




okay I think I need to grab some nachos
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