The silence of a generation,
Cut off by the nation
Of pain, love, and hurt,
Rings for miles without once
Meeting an ear-
Never stopping to say
Hello, good-bye, I love you.
Meandering through a path
Of purgatory and righteousness,
Just being, living, breathing
In the air that brings no
Refreshment or relief.
On it goes, without stopping
Or starting. Without truly moving
It will never become the sound
That it needs, wants, has to be.
It doesn't die, won't die, can't die;
It must die, be no more.
Without sound, it does naught,
And it is lost
Forever.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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This phrasing seems a little awkward.
Maybe you could try
'This is the silence of a generation' or
'The silence is of a generation'
(period, not comma)
Nice description here
Doesn't silence already 'not meet ears'? Because you can't hear silence . . .
The 'hello' seems a little bit out of place. Maybe you should delete it, unless it has any special significance.
Meandering? That sounds nice and all, but a lot of your readers, including me, wouldn't know what it meant.
Good description again
Good comeback. At first I thought your poem was just a mashing of pretty words, but then I get to see the meaning. The silence is just sitting there like a rock. It can never die.
I enjoyed this poem. Fix those errors, and you will have a masterpiece
Hello.
Brilliant beginning. It's strong and it gives out the meaning of the poem so clearly. Hmm... the concept is great. It's a very contemporary issue and it's just amazing how you bring it to poetry here.
Truth is I have nothing to critic. I love this poem. It's not typical, lyrical, beautiful imagery or things like that. It's poetry that makes you think and makes you question. It's poetry that involves you with the poem. Not in the feeling what the persona is saying kind of way but more of like challenging or agreeing with the ideas the persona is giving out.
Starred.
Keep writing.
--Knightly