The dancer

Hi there, Nightingale!

From what I gather, the poem's narrative is about a dancer who learns to enjoy her art and overcome the fear of criticism. The emotional effects of this criticism are described by the word "fell" in a repeating refrain. I interpreted the dancer as a metaphor for people in general, in the face of critcism. I think because of that, the poems seem to touch on themes of freedom, self-expression and social judgement.

Additionally, the anklets act as a nice recurring motif to represent the dancer's art. I do wonder what kind of dance this is. I'm thinking it's not ballet, and it's possibly a traditional dance rather than a modern one.

Language

Just a small ray, in her canopy of despair

I really like this image, as there is a fitting contrast between the "small" ray of light and the whole "canopy" of despair that seems to portray hope so very well. I imagined something like a forest canopy at the break of dawn here, though I suppose canopy might also refer to a tent with a similar analogy.

The corner where appreciation didn't have a stand

I think this image could be more specific. Is it a dark corner? A corner of stern faces? Specificity really helps in making imagery more vivid in the mind's eye, and thus evoke emotions more effectively.

I think editing out words here and there could also help the poem flow better. For instance:

Yet, the familiar jingle, got her put of her trance

I think "put her out of her trance" suffices to express what you want to say here.

The overall metaphor of the dancer on stage was well-used, as you managed to connect it to wider themes like hope and social judgement, for example through the detail of the critical crowd in the corner of the audience.

Structure

Her ankles jingled
Her skin tingled

At least she used to be
And now on the dais
She danced, though didn't feel free

I thought the rhymes were incorporated smoothly into this poem. They each highlight particular words or images, such as in the first one above that gives the feel of an energetic dance. The second one meanwhile seems to emphasise the tragedy of the dancer being entrapped by the fear of criticism.

One thing that would be good to try is to separate your poem into different stanzas. Not only does that make it easier to read, stanzas can also create effects that enhance the poem's story. A change in stanza can signal to the reader that the emotion of the poem has changed. For example, you could end the first stanza and begin the second one here:

She began dancing, a trace of happiness started to glow
Then her gaze innocently landed at the corner 

This could mark the transition between the dancer's happiness and the fear she feels, highlighting that contrast to the reader.

Something else I liked about your poem was the use of caesura here:

Yet, the familiar jingle, got her out of her trance

The use of commas within a line to create pauses between phrases helps lend a dramatic impact to the climax of the poem's story, and I would love to see this sort of technique used more in poems generally.

That's all


Hopefully you found these comments helpful - and keep writing!

Cheers,
-Lim

She began dancing, trace of happiness started to glow

think you should put one 'a' before trace. it sounds better.

Yet, the familiar jingle, got her put of her trance

i think put should be out. then only, it makes meaning. what do you think? and also, there should not be a comma after jingle.

Even through her muddled and terrible thoughts

i couldn't understand. pls check if there's any typos.

these are the only mistakes I found. apart from these, it's really good. keep writing. it potrays the fears of a dancer. i liked it.