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18+ Language Violence Mature Content

The Successor, The Fall of Morrow (5.2)

by Moalex


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

The second major battle of the operation was underway, and the last one would start moments later.

They called it her pheromones, but it wasn’t quite right. It was less of a biological attack and more of a magical affliction to anyone within a half mile radius, and Cecilia could cover that in a few seconds.

Her entry wasn’t exactly subtle. Focusing enough Ki in her legs gave her enough force in her kick-off to glide above the ground and split the ashes; enough to bring that wretched succubus within sight. Lust was still waving her creepy looking staff in the air, but she turned around the moment Cecilia lost momentum and touched the ground. That said, Cecilia had no intentions of giving Lust any freedom to act.

Cecilia rushed her; got up in Lust’s personal space, only a couple feet away from each other, fist pulled back, and her shadow loomed over Lust. She wasn’t even halfway turned when Cecilia’s fist socked her behind the head. Lust was blown away, and crashed into the air instead of flying into the vast wasteland she waved her staff in front of. There was even the sound of collision with a solid object, and she dropped straight into the ground.

So there is something there.

A blast of purple magic shot at Cecilia before she could rush Lust again, forcing her to dodge out of the way. With that split second opening, Lust flew into the sky cackling with joy. With a wave of her staff, magic circles appeared after it. Constant beams of lasers shot at Cecilia and followed her from different directions. “Taking me by surprise from behind?” Lust playfully asked as Cecilia dodged the attacks that burned the ground. “I love it! I’ve missed you too, darling!”

Already the battle wasn’t going in Cecilia’s favor. Not even ten seconds into the fight and Lust had already retreated to the safety of the sky.

“Cum now! You still can’t fly?” Lust mocked. “I’m beginning to think you enjoy being a bottom!” She waved her staff again.

Suddenly it felt like Cecilia’s weight had been multiplied, and she could not move; much less raise her arms or legs. It wasn’t the same as wearing weighted clothing on each of her limbs. This was gravity focused directly on top of her, trying to grind her into the Earth. The lasers surrounded and converged on her, and her feet slowly dug into the ground with Lust’s gravity magic.

Making use of Lust’s magic, she let the gravity take her. Putting in the extra strength as well, she punched the ground creating massive cracks and a giant cloud of soot that veiled her.

A massive chunk of debri flew from the cloud of soot at Lust. She pointed her staff at it, and the debri was split apart into hundreds of tiny perfectly cut cubes. However, behind it was Cecilia, reaching for Lust. Sadly, the feint wasn’t enough. The hundreds of tiny cubes burned and sizzled, exploding shortly after sending Cecilia flying back to the ground.

That irky weird staff, letting Lust cast spells without speaking or creating gestures? What part of that was fair? No cast time, no phrases, nothing- with just a flick of her staff, she made things happen.

Cecilia’s body was completely torn up from the point blank explosion. Her intestines were visible, popped right eye, third degree burns everywhere, sizzling hair, and the muscles on her left thigh were gone. Still, her body was already regenerating, as if her injuries were being peeled away like a sticker and the missing parts printed by a 3D printer.

However, three years was a long time.

Magic circles filled the skies, almost blanketing it, and hundreds of magic projectiles rained down on Cecilia. After seeing Cecilia’s regeneration magic in the first fight, Lust never intentionally allowed her to finish healing.

Some attacks landed direct hits and disintegrated the part it touched. Everything in the area of the attack was blown to smithereens. Such a large scale attack was visible and loud enough to be heard for miles. There was no avoiding it. The muscles in her legs weren’t even allowed to finish healing so she couldn’t dodge much less stand. All she could do was raise her arm and form a shield made of Ki, but even that did nothing but minimize damage.

“Cecilia! Are you o--” Ren called in for an update, but one of the blasts obliterated her arm. There was nothing she could do against this rain of magical artillery. Not in the state she was in. Thankfully, the massive amount of destruction not only created enough smoke to obscure Lust's vision, but also bury Cecilia’s body underground, giving her time to fully recover from her wounds.

It would only take a few seconds for Lust to finally stop so she could actually see where to direct her attacks. That few seconds was all Cecilia needed. Focusing all of her Ki into her legs, she used the leftover smoke from the massive attack to gain the element of surprise. It not only hid her movement, but got the jump behind Lust. With a spin kick, Cecilia finally knocked Lust out of the sky and faceplant into the ground.

Lust recovered with a strong flap of her wings and a joyful laughter mixed with erotic moaning. The harness she wore glowed and sizzled, burning into her body. It was already happening. Once Cecilia’s feet touched the ground, she charged at Lust with a chop to the staff knocking it out of Lust’s hand. She had to take Lust down before it was too late.

Cecilia let loose a barrage of attacks; jabs and hooks to the face, some uppercuts into her body and chin, and multiple kicks to the knees, stomach, and head. She was smacking Lust around left and right. Every hit Cecilia unleashed had an aftermath to it; usually the air rippled from the amount of force behind each attack, or the ashes on the ground split. She chopped at Lust’s neck sending her flying, and leapt after her and smashed her back into the ground with her hands together. Focusing all of her Ki into this next punch, she lowered her fist at Lust.

Unfortunately, she would not make it in time.

Lust caught Cecilia’s punch in her hand. A punch that cracked the ground even though Lust should have absorbed most of the force from catching it. The harness had a glow akin to steel when it’s heated to melting point. Which meant it had finished converting all of Lust’s arousal into power.

It was too late.

Cecilia tried to pull her hand away, but Lust refused to let go. “Oh...shit.”

With a simple turn of Lust’s hand, Cecilia’s entire arm twisted and cracked as if it was put in a blender; and tore completely off her shoulder. Cecilia reeled back screaming at the top of her lugs, and grabbed her shoulder.

Yes, anyone that thought her appearance was just for attention would quickly meet a horrific fate. Cecilia herself made that mistake the first time they fought. The harness converted all the pleasure Lust felt into magic and physical power. It didn’t help that she found everything in existence to be a pleasure. Even the most disturbing kinks: scat, gore, necrophilia, beastiality, pain and abuse, she had no limits. A sorcerer that kept getting stronger with every passing second she was aroused. It was bad enough with just the staff, but how was she supposed to take down a sorcerer that had an infinite source of steroids.

Lust laughed maniacally as she watched Cecilia kneel. “Oh, I do enjoy hearing your voice...” She stared down ogling at Cecilia’s nude body, her clothes completely vaporized from the large scale attacks. “Mhmm, please tell me you can go for round two. I’m just getting started.” She then used Cecilia’s torn arm to grope her own breast, moaning as she reached down with her other hand to masturbate with the dildo that’s connected to her harness. “Oh, baby, I’m getting so wet just from looking at your cute body.”

Cecilia thought this every time she fought Lust. Not a day goes by she doesn’t think about it either. This was bullshit. That staff was bullshit. The chain harness was bullshit. Her pheromones are bullshit. Of all the Sins, Lust was the worst in Cecilia’s opinion. Nobody can get close because they became too horny to fight. It’s only thanks to her Ki shield that she can repel the aura. Which also meant she’ll never receive back-up when fighting Lust. Everything about Lust is just bullshit.

Of course, Cecilia knew what she was getting into whenever she fought Lust, but she couldn’t help but think how bullshit it is.

This succubus was truly deserving of her title. She was Akesha- the Sin of Lust, the Succubus Queen.


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Sat Aug 29, 2020 7:55 pm
Tuckster wrote a review...



Hey there Moalex! Tuck here to help clean out the green room :)

Just a quick disclaimer, I haven't read any previous chapters, so I'll do my best to give you a fair review with the perspective I have, but for that reason it may be incomplete.

Still, her body was already regenerating, as if her injuries were being peeled away like a sticker and the missing parts printed by a 3D printer.

Okay, this is a minor pet peeve of mine, as someone who enjoys 3D modeling and CAD design and 3D printers. 3D printers don't instantly print things, or even print them quickly. It can take over an hour to print an inch or so of material, and I'm assuming that this regeneration is happening at a faster rate than that. Normally I wouldn't point something this minor out in a review, but like I said, it's a small pet peeve of mine.

Overall, you did an excellent job pacing the battle and describing both the small-scale fight and the larger-scale fight. You clearly expressed the intensity of the battle, the mounting emotions on both sides, and the characters that you introduced.

A small note is that I don't fully understand when and how Cecilia ends up naked. As far as I can understand, she begins the battle with clothing on (which is how I prefer to enter battles as well) and then there's a part towards the end where she's unclothed. I read through twice just to make sure I didn't miss anything and didn't see any part where that occurred. Let's move onto some more major points

There were parts of this battle that seemed to be needlessly graphic. Of course, you're welcome to keep this included in your story if it's an important aspect of your novel, but keep in mind that it will be a deterrent to some readers. I feel that you could have just as easily written this battle with an antagonist that didn't include such mature and sexual parts. Right now, you're closing off a large amount of your audience (especially on YWS) without a strong benefit.

I also would have liked to see a bit more banter between Lust and Cecilia. You have a tension between them, as rivals, and it would have been a nice way to cut through the serious battle scenes even more than you're already doing. You've already done an excellent job of pacing and balancing these action scenes, so this isn't absolutely necessary to achieve balance, but it could still be beneficial for you, in my opinion.

Overall, some strong and well-balanced fight scenes that were excellently executed. Some more banter, reflecting on the benefits and downsides of such graphic sexual content, and some nitpicks I focused on at the beginning of the review may be some good places to start while editing and things to bear in mind going forward. I hope this review was helpful to you, and if you have any questions, please let me know!

Best,
Tuck




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Sun Aug 09, 2020 5:32 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: WOW that was definitely quite the fight there. You definitely delivered on that. The one thing I immediately notice though is the last bit. Its too much of a chunk of just straight up explaining what's going on. All of that could have been very easily placed in strategic areas throughout this fight without being simply told at the end. I'll leave a few places where they could be but because otherwise it just totally breaks the flow there at the end. It takes you out of the battlefield and that's not a good thing because the sort of image you create at the end of that fight is something you want burned into your reader's mind. Besides that though the fight itself was really well done, its extreme and it flows wonderfully from bit to pit. The pacing is very much on point.

Anyway let's get right to it,

They called it her pheromones, but it wasn’t quite right. It was less of a biological attack and more of a magical affliction to anyone within a half mile radius, and Cecilia could cover that in a few seconds.


See this is an example of what you could have done with the things down at the bottom. This tells you the important information but its short enough that it improves our understanding without breaking immersion so this needs to be the way to go with the information down below as well.

Cecilia rushed her; got up in Lust’s personal space, only a couple feet away from each other, fist pulled back, and her shadow loomed over Lust. She wasn’t even halfway turned when Cecilia’s fist socked her behind the head. Lust was blown away, and crashed into the air instead of flying into the vast wasteland she waved her staff in front of. There was even the sound of collision with a solid object, and she dropped straight into the ground.


Lovely start to the fight here.

Already the battle wasn’t going in Cecilia’s favor. Not even ten seconds into the fight and Lust has already retreated to the safety of the sky.


I think that should be had.

Suddenly it felt like Cecilia’s weight had been multiplied, and she could not move; much less raise her arms or legs. It wasn’t the same as wearing weighted clothing on each of her limbs. This was gravity focused directly on top of her, trying to grind her into the Earth. The lasers surrounded and converged on her, and her feet slowly dug into the ground with Lust’s gravity magic.


Okay I think you're much better off calling this just force because this is not how gravity works. Gravity can't push an object. Only attract something so she'd have to like concentrate gravity below Cecilia for there to be a pull on Cecilia.

Cecilia’s body was completely torn up from the point blank explosion. Her intestines were visible, popped right eye, third degree burns everywhere, sizzling hair, and the muscles on her left thigh were gone. Still, her body was already regenerating, as if her injuries were being peeled away like a sticker and the missing parts printed by a 3D printer.


Wow that escalated quickly. I like how you're not holding back with the damage here and making it very realistic to what would actually happen.

It would only take a few seconds for Lust to finally stop so she could actually see where to direct her attacks. That few seconds was all Cecilia needed. Focusing all of her Ki into her legs, she used the leftover smoke from the massive attack to gain the element of surprise. It not only hid her movement, but got the jump behind Lust. With a spin kick, Cecilia finally knocked Lust out of the sky and faceplant into the ground.


The flow has been awesome throughout the fight with the balance of it swinging back and forth nicely grounding all the crazy magic and stuff in a realistic scenario.

With a simple turn of Lust’s hand, Cecilia’s entire arm twisted and cracked as if it was put in a blender; and tore completely off her shoulder. Cecilia reeled back screaming, and grabbed her shoulder.


OUCH

Lust laughed maniacally as she watched Cecilia kneel. “Oh, I do enjoy hearing your voice...” She stared down ogling at Cecilia’s nude body, her clothes completely vaporized from the large scale attacks. “Mhmm, please tell me you can go for round two. I’m just getting started.” She then used Cecilia’s torn arm to grope her own breast, moaning as she reached down with her other hand to masturbate with the dildo that’s connected to her harness. “Oh, baby, I’m getting so wet just from looking at your cute body.”


This I think would be the place to put that harness detail somewhere in this paragraph.

Cecilia thought this every time she fought Lust. Not a day goes by she doesn’t think about it either. This was bullshit. That staff was bullshit. The ridiculous looking chain harness was bullshit. Her pheromones are bullshit. Everything about Lust is just bullshit.


This part is fine.

That staff, letting Lust cast spells without speaking or creating gestures? What part of that was fair? No casting time, no phrases, nothing- with just a wave of her staff, she made things happen.


This one you can really easily show her using the staff and then have Cecilia remark on how its unfair that she doesn't have to say any words.

Then there’s that bloody pheromone aura of hers. Sure, every Sin had their auras that affected everyone according to the sin they represented, but Lust was the worst in Cecilia’s opinion. Nobody can get close because they became too horny to fight. It’s only thanks to her Ki shield that she can repel the aura. Which also meant she’ll never receive back-up when fighting Lust.


This one is unnecessary from what we've seen in the previous chapters with Blaze and then that discussion in the planning stage all of this is implied and that's enough. The readers will come to this conclusion quite easily.

Of course, Cecilia knew what she was getting into whenever she fought Lust, but she couldn’t help but think how bullshit it is.

This succubus was truly deserving of her title. She was Akesha- the Sin of Lust, the Succubus Queen.


This ending though is great.

Aaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Well besides that little issue I pointed out I just loved the way that this fight scene was written. The flow of the scene was just beautifully executed with things going back and forth. You alternated between the actual fighting and describing the wounds and weapons really well to give us enough to know what's going on without risking breaking the flow.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




Moalex says...


Hi Knight Hardy! Thank you for the quick review as always! Especially the bit about where to subtly place the info chunk! Changes can be expected within a few minutes!



Moalex says...


Oh, and a quick clarification regarding Lust's gravity magic. It's less about a force being driven on Cecilia, as it is Lust multiplying the weight of gravity in that specific area.



HarryHardy says...


Your Welcome!!
Ahh yes that is much more accurate there just the way you phrased it made it sound different. Something like she was being pulled towards the Earth as it was focused on her would probably make that clearer. Because being like ground into the Earth makes you think of something pushing her down. Just a suggestion. ;)




Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We're just used to being the cat.
— Henry Wu, "Jurassic World"